#547 Forest Blakk: How To Master Your Emotions

Forest Blakk is back for the 6th time. He recently got married and has an exciting 2024 coming up. In this episode we chat about emotional expression and mastering your emotions.

This conversation is a great way to learn to put your feelings into words.

https://www.instagram.com/forestblakk/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9vKX9Hz5dGVrhD5v3-UnAQ
https://open.spotify.com/artist/7q7IUe2AqtifSZ2q52kHFc

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Transcript

Lachlan Stuart: 0:51

This was something important that I wanted to share, because one of the biggest things that I've noticed from working with men over the last eight, eight odd years now is they really struggle to put into words how they feel. It's something that I've experienced I still do to this day, and I was saying, just as we're wrapping up the episode, that I wish I put this in your life. Let's fire this bad boy up and put it back in here. So here we are, and it's raw. I'm not going to edit this.

Lachlan Stuart: 1:17

I'll put this as an intro, but for me, listening to your music has been a great way to be able to do that, and for those who've listened to a forest's music, you'll understand why. There's the poetry and the way that you articulate and explain feelings I think is such a useful tool because if you guys are like I am Wait, there's so many feelings that you've had as a young person you didn't understand. It's like just go listen to how other people articulate and go, oh, grab a little bit of that and I'll grab a little bit of that, and then I'll start formulating my own idea of what that means to me.

Forest Blakk: 1:51

Yeah, I mean, I think part of the beautiful part about being an artist is like having that Sheer desire to communicate how something feels in a way that makes sense, because I'm just like everybody else. I'm out in the world and I'm downloading all these feelings and for the most, for the earlier part of my life, I didn't know what those feelings were and I really struggled with them. I mean, I ended up tattooing my arms all the way up and I was angry and aggressive and I had all those things were stewing inside of me to the point where I can remember the first time I was in my life, at the point where I can remember the first time I picked up a guitar and I was 15 years old and I hit the strings and when I tell you that like I made the most God awful sound, like I'm not lying. Literally it felt like feelings were kind of for lack of better words. It felt like I was vomiting out emotion and I was very afraid of that. I remember putting the guitar down as quickly as I picked it up and I was like trying to hide my tears and I was ready to fight the universe. Why, like what are these feelings inside of me and I think that was this relationship with music that started right then. And there where I went, I realized that something inside of me was different, maybe, from other people, and something really needed to get out, and I hid from music for another six years.

Forest Blakk: 3:18

What a lot of people don't know about me is I started I wrote my first song when I was 21. And I started my career so much later than everybody else. By that time people were already really good and I was trying to figure out how to play the guitar and how to sing and I didn't know anything. And so, having this connection with emotion and it really wasn't until I got my heart broken for the first time that words started to come out that mattered, because I didn't know what to do with the feelings and I didn't have anywhere to go and I didn't have anyone to talk to who could understand the gravity of what I was feeling, as my heart was breaking and I tried to find a way to articulate, and I did, and I didn't.

Forest Blakk: 4:06

I never anticipated being a songwriter. I just had this guitar and I was freestyling what I felt and luckily, someone was there in front of me and they started writing down what I was saying. I was never like a pen to paper writer for songs. I was always a freestyler, and just what would come out were the emotion, and I just would do it just to get it out of me and I would never record it. I never thought about that. And so I got to the end of this moment where I'd gotten all those feelings out, which naturally was the end of the song or the session, and then I was shown the lyrics of what I actually said, and seeing that on paper for the first time ever it definitely, you know, for a lack of better words than mind the pun, like it struck a chord where I went, wow, because I read it as someone who needed to read those words, because I was feeling the feelings I was feeling. And so all of a sudden, this thing that vomited itself out of me started to console me. It like wrapped me up and it hugged me and it said it's okay and you'll be all right. And then that started.

Forest Blakk: 5:24

From then on out, my life completely changed because for the first time it felt like I was connected to something beyond me that was feeding me the language to tell someone who perhaps could never see what maybe the color purple sounded like, or what it looked like or what it felt like. I started to have this new appreciation for what words could do to describe things, imagining that people would never be able to see them. And that's exactly what emotions are. You can't, for the most part, see them. You can only react what the emotion is, whether it's a tear or a fist, a smile or a frown. But this was words that could describe that in different ways, so that you had a brand new appreciation for the tapestry of an emotion itself. And that's what I became. I became an architect of feeling and sound, so that people had the ability to feel connected and not so alone in them. And that's where we are now.

Lachlan Stuart: 6:32

I love it. I love it, man. I'm glad we got to get that part in and add that into the intro, and now everyone can enjoy the rest of the conversation. Yeah, good luck. So for everyone tuning in, as I've mentioned, forrest has been on the show four times and, if you listened to the last episode, we decided we would do this annually.

Lachlan Stuart: 7:18

Forrest and I have known each other since 2014. And both of our lives have grown in such incredible ways since, and it's really cool going back to even episode 11. You're quite an articulate individual. You know you grew up reading the Bible because of stuff that people can go back and listen to. As to why you taught yourself to read a lot, but it's why you're such an incredible songwriter. The song that I'm not going to say I love most, because there's a couple I love most, but Heaven's Telephone is a beautiful one, and obviously your new stuff is incredible as well, and even the new new stuff that we got to see the other night.

Lachlan Stuart: 7:58

But you are a musician. You are an incredibly talented entrepreneur. I believe you're an entrepreneur, based off the conversations we were having the other night. More importantly, you're a great friend. You're a great husband not to me, unfortunately, but you're a great husband and you genuinely care about people. And to recap that, go back and listen to last year's episode and previous episodes. Every year you give so much of your time to people and you can find out more about why Forrest does that once again. I'm just going to keep plugging the episode so we don't recap similar stuff every time, but, ben, the last 12 months has been pretty incredible for you.

Forest Blakk: 8:37

Yeah, I mean, I feel like every time we do these it's interesting. It's like normally you have new years and you're like that marks like the cycle of a new year, and I feel like this podcast with you has been like my cycle of a new year. I'm like, oh yeah, a lot has happened, because when you're in life and you're doing the, you know when everything's kind of coming at you, you don't really take the time to go oh, it's been a year. I've done all these things. But looking back, yeah, it's wild. I mean, I've left, I've moved across the country, I've had songs take off around the world, I've had videos blow up around the world, I've got married to the love of my life, we adopted a dog. I'm going on tour with James Arthur coming up Like like it just keeps going.

Forest Blakk: 9:20

You know, my friends have moved from Australia to the same town that I'm in, which is exciting. Also, very strange that we don't get to do this in person yet. So I'm just saying, you know it's, yeah, my life has changed dramatically, like just even like from from where we were to this house that we got. Now, this is, this is a dream, and sometimes I like have to sit back and really take it in Cause, like, as you know, and if people go back and listen, like four years ago I was homeless, so it's a trip like four years ago there was no hardware on the wall, there was no wall.

Lachlan Stuart: 9:55

Yeah, exactly, there was no way to keep it so it's just wild.

Forest Blakk: 9:59

Like you know, four years ago I had a broken heart, Everything in my life kind of caved out from underneath of me overnight, and then to just think that, like wow, like all these changes happen to me, it always feels like a movie man. It feels so surreal Like I'm just like barely hanging on trying to live in it, Let alone understand it. You know.

Lachlan Stuart: 10:20

It's interesting when you you mentioned the, you didn't have a wall to hang the plaque on, and it just shows how important it is that one thing has to come before the next thing can really be appreciated, even for us to be here right Like we were tossing and turning. Should we do this episode in person? Because, yes, if you didn't click with what Forrest said, we're both living in Nashville, in in, in in Smashville. I see you're at the hockey like every week, dude, but we decided not to do it in person. Originally. We were going to them, we didn't, then we did and then we've had some stuff come up.

Lachlan Stuart: 10:53

But then also, you raised a very good point. You're incredible on TikTok. You're like I also just want you to consider what's going to look better on socials, and I was like well, your, your wall will definitely look better on socials than what I look for those on YouTube. You can see I got a blank wall. I've got a little bit of a shady red light starting to come in. Amy and I are slowly building, building something here, but at the moment it's not where it needs to be, hence why I just think virtually we'll probably do a couple this year. Maybe, who knows?

Forest Blakk: 11:22

That's it.

Lachlan Stuart: 11:23

Well, it's our oyster. But, dude, you got married.

Forest Blakk: 11:27

Yeah, greatest, greatest decision of my life. You know it's crazy thing about getting married and maybe you can, you can, you know, let me know if you, you felt the same way because you, you know, you, you took the plunge. Before I did, I never thought that, like I never thought getting married would change my life. Like I didn't think that, like I thought, like you know, you hear people say, like it's just a piece of paper, like what's it mean? So I didn't expect like anything really big to happen.

Forest Blakk: 11:54

And it was kind of like we got married in one different way than most people. Like we eloped and we just really wanted it to be about us and not about the pressures of what food someone's not going to. Like you know, we and who who are, who are you inviting versus who you're not inviting. And both of us have friends that are all around the world and like we didn't want to just put that burden on them, to be like why don't you spend your vacation time and all your savings to come see us get married? So we didn't want to do that. So we eloped, rented this beautiful farm north of Nashville, married her on the longest day of the year, because I also asked her out on the shortest day of the year. Really.

Forest Blakk: 12:35

Yeah, 21st of December is when I asked her out. 21st of June is when we got married. And again I didn't know, like I didn't know what to expect. I just was like, okay, we're going to do this, we're going to get married, and then I'm going to be able to call you my wife, I guess, and you're going to be able to call me your husband.

Forest Blakk: 12:52

But I was really excited, like I just really wanted to marry her, I really wanted to be with her. I really, I don't know, it just felt like. Felt like the symbol of a ring and the symbol of those words like just really meant a lot. I'd be like man, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm really yours. I just, I guess what I'm trying to say is I really wanted to commit to her in the most, in the greatest way I could, and this is it, and.

Forest Blakk: 13:17

But I didn't think anything would change. I always thought we'd come home and then it would just be normal, like it would just be us, because we love each other and that's not going to change. Dude, I was so wrong when I say that the day that I married her was the first time in my life that I loved someone more than myself. I've always loved me first and like I've always been this like firm believer of like, if you're on the airplane and the airplane's going down, put your mask on first before you try and help anybody else. I've always been like that, or like, just always take care of you. With her, I'm like all I can think about is how do I do better at life so that she is always going to be okay? And I don't know if that's because before my so my grandfather passed away when he was quite young, and before he passed away, he took care of my Nana so that she never had to worry, you know, at least not about those things. Like she worried about other things in life, but I just I don't know, man, I'm here now with a whole different mindset. Everything's changed.

Forest Blakk: 14:21

Like I'm like, oh yeah, I need to like land home runs so that my wife is always going to be okay in life. And then it's not just like financial things, it's like, oh, I need to show up, I need to make sure that she knows how I feel about her constantly and be vulnerable to let her into my world and then also to show her that I have the capacity to learn from what's happening within our relationship so that I can grow within it as well. So she can always see that outside in the world I can be a tough guy and take care of us and always protect her, and but inside our home I can always be gentle, for our gentle space, for her to, just, you know, wrap her arms around me and vice versa, so that we can feel the warmth of our love. And it's been. Yeah, it was surreal. I don't have a million words to express, but I also don't Like. I just yes.

Lachlan Stuart: 15:18

Anyway, I don't know if that happened to you as well, but like it certainly man changed gears so fast 100%, because I feel like it's just a whole different commitment For someone to literally say I want to be with you. There's a difference. Words, actions, speak louder than words and when you're sitting there declaring that in you know, I guess, a legally binding matter and I know to some people that, like, marriage doesn't mean stuff you can get divorced, etc. But when you come in with the intention that you're going to honor that and you're going to show up and do what you need to do to grow with the relationship and be the strong person that they need but also hold space, as you mentioned which I want to dive into a bit more in a moment that to me signifies that you're committed to making it work. Like if you're getting married and you think about the fact that, oh, if it doesn't work, we can get divorced, what are you doing?

Forest Blakk: 16:11

That's no kidding man, you can get divorced, but you're always going to have to say that my ex-wife. So like, yeah, you can always get divorced, but yeah, I mean, you can always decide to climb Mount Everest and stop climbing it. You can always walk back on anything, but I don't know. It's not to say that getting divorced isn't an option in people's lives. I think it is. It all is case dependent. If you're in a really bad relationship and someone isn't doing the work, and yeah, like, unfortunately that is a way out, but it's still your. That's your first husband, that's your first wife, that's your first love, that's your first partner or what have you. I think words matter. I don't know. It was different for me.

Forest Blakk: 16:59

I've had girlfriends and I feel that the people I've dated in my life have been the most incredible life lessons leading me to be a husband. You know, like I remember like, going through any breakup, I've always felt sad because I, you know you don't get into a relationship going. I really hope this thing fails. Like every single person you're dating, you're like, oh, this is like. I'm looking at you as like the potential to get there, and I've gotten close a few times to thinking like, oh, I think I found like the person I'm supposed to be with.

Forest Blakk: 17:40

When I met my wife, I was like whoa. Everyone I've ever met has been part of a beautiful roadmap to who you are, and the growth that I've gone through being with them has led me to be the best version of myself today so I can show up for you. You know, and I think the only tragedy of it is unfortunately, you're not always the best version of yourself in the past, and that's the only thing I think about. Sometimes I get really sad because I'm like, ah, I wish I could have been this type of person then, because I just would have been a better person.

Lachlan Stuart: 18:17

We were talking about that this morning when it's just like if someone hasn't seen us for 10 years, it doesn't matter what accolades we have or who we've become or what we believe, they still know us from 10 years ago. That's their current version of us. And yeah, it is sad because I've learned a lot of life lessons. I've heard a lot of people, and some people still view me as that individual, and I know the work that I've put in to want to be a better individual, to make sure I don't hurt people, to try and leave this place a better place, and I've had to deal with a lot of personal stuff as a view, and as does everyone. But unfortunately, who we are in that moment when we interact with people is who they'll probably probably remember us as and as you're saying this like damn. Wish I could have been this version to my previous partners or even to my previous mates. However, would we be who we are now? Had that bad experience or poor interaction have happened? Maybe?

Forest Blakk: 19:20

maybe not, I don't know. Like the hope is that, yeah, but yeah, it's the thing that it plagues me, like it literally is the thing that I think about and sometimes I stew over because I wish I wish I had no opportunity to do a do over, or I wish that, like the people, people in life, would have a crystal ball to see who I am. Or or maybe, like I think, a big thing for me this past year has been doing like a lot of shadow work and working on like this inside version of myself that I've been very hard on, and instead of instead of looking back and being like what? You were just such a trash bag. You weren't a great person, or you why'd you say that to that person or why'd you do this this way I have to try and look back and part of doing the work is going at that time in your life you didn't respond accordingly, or you didn't say the right things, or you didn't act the right way, and I love you. It wasn't right, but I love you and we're here and we're going to work on that constantly, rather than trying to ignore that part of me and keep keep him in shame all the time. I have to like at some point. The world isn't going to let me off the hook, but I have to let me off the hook and so. But the tragedy of that is that, yeah, you're immortalized in a moment where you're not in your greatest form, and I don't think you're ever in your greatest form. I think you're just at a part of it and you're moving in it and you're trying to maintain within a threshold or, you know, to go Like. This is the type of person I'm trying to be, and maybe I don't always live up to that, but at least I'm not failing that either. So, but yeah, I think the hard thing is, and something I think I've really focused on trying to understand, this year at least, is that the consequence of decisions in your past is that you have to live with the fact that people in your past will hold you accountable for the moments they met you and how you were. And I think a really interesting way of seeing that.

Forest Blakk: 21:40

If it's complicated to understand that, it's like going to a restaurant. For me at least, it's like going to a restaurant that serves a thousand great meals a day, but your experience there was that you got served a dish that wasn't great. Maybe there was, you know, a bunch of pieces of hair in it and maybe the meal was cold and maybe the waiter was a jerk. In that moment, if I'm going to that restaurant, I actually when I'm when I don't have self-awareness I could be frustrated at the cooks, frustrated at the lack of detail, frustrated that my experience wasn't what I wanted it to be, frustrated that the service wasn't catering to the way I wanted to be treated and so, ultimately, I leave that place.

Forest Blakk: 22:29

And whether I write a bad review to other people so they know about how I experience, or I always tell myself I hate that restaurant, I'm never going back, it doesn't matter if that restaurant serves a million perfect meals after that, the way that that one person is going to always look at that restaurant is like, hey, I thought they served the worst dish ever and it's taken me a long time to get to this place. To be like, yeah, maybe I wasn't the greatest dish at a point for somebody. I was that bad moment for somebody and I can't do anything unless they choose to walk through that door and sit down at the table and allow me a do over. That's on them, but the consequence of that moment is on me and I have to own it and there's nothing else I can do about it, and I've found a lot of comfort in that as well.

Lachlan Stuart: 23:23

Shadow works so important to do. And I think it's such an important thing, especially even if in relationships right, because you think about when you first get together with someone, that honeymoon phase. It's like you're always, you've got the rose, tinted glasses on and you do not see people's faults. And then, as that starts to wear off, as you become comfortable, not only do you start noticing their faults and potential flaws, you start revealing more of yours, and we've all got that stuff that we're trying to keep in the dark.

Lachlan Stuart: 23:52

Right, there's things that we're embarrassed about or ashamed of, but in order to get to a truly beautiful relationship, we've got to be able to accept those elements and components of ourself. And once again, we can work through those things but also show that to our partner because they're on this journey with us. It's like, if you're hiding parts, you're in trouble, man, because your partner has the same. And for you to have that true bond where it's like we're a team here, they accept me for who I am, I feel valued, I feel heard. It's like you need to be able to lead by example to allow them the space to do the same thing. And that's hard, man. I've really struggled with it.

Forest Blakk: 24:33

But over the years. I found it hard. I'm very fortunate that I have the type of partner who one encourages me to be me at every level of myself. She encourages me to be crazy, she encourages me to be wild, she encourages me to be joyful, she encourages me to be sad when I need to be sad. She really encourages the experience of all the emotions and she's really amazing at offering me the space to do that and then always letting me know that it doesn't matter what version of myself comes out, that she's going to be there and I can say, without false humility I offer her the same. I don't want to say I love her without condition. I think there are boundaries and so there's a synonym of condition, I suppose.

Lachlan Stuart: 25:21

But can you explain that a little bit more?

Forest Blakk: 25:24

Well, I don't want to say that I love someone whilst removing boundaries Like I have boundaries, I guess it's maybe the better way to explain it. There's nothing that my wife Tully let's just say her name there's nothing that Tully can do to remove the love that I will have for her. But there are conditions or boundaries in place that if she ever does something that's like too far off and I can't recover from that, that, I will have to love her from afar rather than close. So the condition is more so distance than anything. So I think that to just button that thought of the restaurant or the feeling of being able to move on, tully and I have something really special where we're not at a place where we need to fully exercise that. Mind you, she accepts me for my past, my present and my future, and I do the same. Get out in the world. My dog's going crazy. I don't know if you can hear him.

Lachlan Stuart: 26:41

I can, but it's fine, probably.

Forest Blakk: 26:43

Amazon delivery.

Forest Blakk: 26:46

No, he just he likes he wants me to talk to him. That's fair. He's doing this all the time. Well, can I press pause for two seconds to take care of him? Yeah, yeah, go do your thing. Anyway, I think I just want to try to get at is.

Forest Blakk: 26:59

It's incredible to have found that experience with her. Again, it's something that I think about every single day people past life, moving onward, upward and then continually doing the work that I need to do to perpetuate this direction of self improvement. And again, I think it all boils down Like if you, if you don't let yourself off the hook, like nobody will. And you have really two options you can live life constantly in shame or you could be proud of the person that you are and are becoming, and you can make that what you are, but you're not responsible for the way other people think about you. It's none of your business and there's nothing you can do about it, and more often than not, it's not personal. You know like you, just you've got to live within you. And my favorite thing is that, over the course of history, no one really gives a shit, like no one's looking back at who is the worst person in 1843. It's like I don't care, I certainly don't care about. Like somebody in some town or city somewhere who you know made a couple of mistakes along their path. Like nobody cares. I try to keep that in mind because I think maybe you can agree with this, or maybe you do or don't.

Forest Blakk: 28:34

Well, part of the work is that, as you do the work, you know you can't just say you know. I think the more stuff aware you become, the more you understand the problems that you have in the past, because you're like oh, that's not how I would do this. Like you just have an awareness. You know what I mean. It's like going to the gym as the fat guy and like not knowing what to do, versus going to the gym as the fit guy and knowing what to do. You know it feels like that. Like once you have the knowledge, you're like ah, you look back at your version when I say this, being both, I was the very fat guy. I look back on how I would maybe work out and I'd be like why did I do that that way? That was so silly, you know. Like that was all wrong. So, anyway, you have to hold grace. That's what I'm saying. I'm just reading.

Lachlan Stuart: 29:23

I think that's one of the great things about the work, though, as well. The work is just for me, by becoming more self aware. Yes, I've understood things that I wish I didn't do and how I would do things differently, and also moving forward is like no, I definitely wouldn't do that, because I understand the outcome, and we can learn that through our own experiences, or if we can be prepared to learn from other people's experiences. I remember, though, you know, at a younger age, when I would be warned off things, whether it was from my parents or friends or whatever, and I was just still in that mindset where I had to learn it for myself. I thought I was different, I thought I could be better, but there's a lot of patterns throughout history and throughout life that show that if you do the same things that most people are doing, you'll get similar outcomes, and we were talking about this this morning as well. From the fact that you know, you mentioned to me it's like well, you've had it very lucky.

Lachlan Stuart: 30:14

In regards to the people that I have managed to surround myself with since, I guess, coming out of my shitstorm have been supportive. They have been people who have afforded me a second opportunity and allowed me to grow, and unfortunately, a lot of the world isn't that way. You know, if they've seen you've done something wrong, they'll hold you to that for the rest of your life. And you know, I feel like a lot of that comes because they haven't done the work within themselves. It's like they're holding themselves hostage to something they did back in 1863, as you said, it's like let it go, man, when you can, let it go and accept that we're all just trying to figure it out. We're gonna fucking make mistakes. If you keep making the same mistake, yep, and it's a bad thing, cool. But if you've done it once, give someone a second.

Forest Blakk: 31:03

Yeah, I mean, I look, I think, because what you're talking about is cancel culture and, like, I have a love hate relationship with cancel culture. I think, yeah, if you continually make the same mistake, you get called out for it and you have an opportunity to learn from it and you decide that you don't want to canceled. That's not even being canceled, it's just. It's like that's the way life works. Like if you're part of a group of friends and you're constantly the asshole that shows up and terrorizes the group of friends. Or like you're the guy who shows up and you're constantly saying the racist joke and you think it's not funny. Like, or you're just being a jerk, or you're too hands, too feely, too touchy with people. Like, or maybe you're the guy who just constantly hits people, or something. That's gonna kick you out.

Forest Blakk: 31:51

That's it's not canceled, you're just. You're not invited to the party, you're not canceled, you're an asshole. That's like. You know what I mean.

Forest Blakk: 32:00

But what I do think, though, is that there is a culture of look at that person's done something wrong, so everybody run at them and make them wrong. It's like I don't want people to be canceled, I want people to be held accountable. Like you know, it's like if you get caught drunk driving, I think you're an asshole, I think you're a jerk. But then I have to like that's kind of what we were just talking about a few minutes ago about like maybe that person grows from that and goes man like nobody, nobody knows what's going on inside that person's head. I always try and think of that too. Like someone's drunk driving terrible thing to do, you shouldn't do it. Like that's a kind of no brainer for all of us. But I don't know if that person's just lost their kid or, you know, their wife just passed away in a hospital, and how do you? Anyone who's doing that is obviously not in a great place, and it's like what's the root of that, and at what point in time did we decide not to love on somebody or try to understand that.

Forest Blakk: 33:02

But I am a firm like. I'm a firm believer of like that person should go into a program, do the work, because now they're in a place where there are trauma. It could have possibly affect other people and it can perpetuate into more trauma. So we want to solve that problem. So I think you should be suspended, not canceled. I think you should be temporarily suspended.

Forest Blakk: 34:25

You need to go to asshole school and see if they can knock the ass a lot of you and then you come back into life and you're a functional part of society. And I really think that we're in a place where people are missing all those steps and I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's because we all feel like we're climbing Mount Everest and that's just like a person in front of you and you're kind of thrilled because they're out of your way and you have room to make headway. Now I don't know what it is. What I do know is that it makes no sense and sometimes, through failure, people become outliers and they decide this is what I'm gonna do to change this and become a better version of myself, and then I'm gonna grow through that and I just wish I saw more of that.

Lachlan Stuart: 35:10

I think it still comes back to that awareness because we grew up in such small tribes. I think we were talking about business morning as well. I'm just gonna regurgitate all of this morning's combo we had, but ultimately it's like we all had our roles in a tribe back in the day. Some were hunters, some were gatherers, some were looking after the kids. Now, everyone had their role, which required specific skill sets, ways of doing things, and you just let people be right, but collectively. As a tribe, it was like you had one goal a survival right Procreation and survival two goals, and nothing's really any different.

Lachlan Stuart: 35:44

Now, however, our tribe's not 150 people, like technically it's. We're more isolated than ever, but we've got more people watching us than ever before. So we're constantly trying to keep up and chase things that may be deep inside we don't want, but we feel we need to have, because we wanna be accepted. We've got those basic human needs. We wanna fit in, and sometimes fitting in comes at the expense of being who we truly are, and that's why so many people feel unhappy. It's why so many of us get home from work and have to have a beer or try and escape from our own life, cause it's just not working for us. But going back to what we were speaking about a moment ago, for us is that most people aren't aware of this. They're just on that hamstail, unfortunately.

Forest Blakk: 36:30

Yeah, and they're aware of the consequence, they're aware of the car crash. You know what I mean and I get it, like I get it, but like I always try and think like if someone had a camera pointed out my life as I walked through it, man, like I'm, I'm toast, like I think everybody is like you know, like how grateful are we that that there isn't this like giant camera pointed at you your whole life, just observing every mistake that you make. And the other thing is, like, mistakes are part of life, and I don't say this lightly, because I'm not saying it so that I can be, like you know, relieved of any responsibility of things that I've done in my life. But what I, what I, what I'm saying it for, is that I look at other people who've done things to me that like, for all intents and purposes, are the worst things that can happen. And I don't hold any of those people in a place of, like I, like I want to wreck you or ruin you. I, like I want, I don't.

Forest Blakk: 37:33

There's, there are people in life I will never speak to again. I don't ever want to talk to you. There are people I don't want to see their faces. I don't even like hearing their names. I get that. There are people that have done things that I just don't think you can come back from, and to me, the shame that they have to walk through every day in life is them. They have to go and do that work, and what I do hope for them is I wish them well, I wish that they grow up, I hope that they find themselves and I hope that the interactions that they have from there on out are better and create or cultivate an experience for everyone around that's positive or better, you know. So I think I think about that quite often because, again, like I think accountability is in growth, but I think Mistakes are honestly an important part of Of this. Like you know not to get too philosophical, but I really don't know how I got here and I certainly don't know where I'm going, and I'm just trying to hang on every day while I am here and it's all very bizarre and strange and I'm doing the best that I can, given what I know and what I have been taught and shown, and I think at the end of the day when I go to sleep, I think about that. I think about that I go. I literally did the best that I could given what I knew, and today I'm doing the best I can given what I know. Today, and when I go inside and I check my intentions, my intentions are very pure and very good and I want to see the best in people, and anytime I feel like I've let any of that down, I am my own hardest critic. I will think. I will think.

Forest Blakk: 39:33

Here's an example when I first started doing music, there was these twin brothers that I played music with and I went to their dad's house and at the time the movie Shrek was out and I really like copying voices and imitations and there was the part of the movie where Eddie Murphy is playing donkey and Shrek's with them and Shrek goes that'll do, donkey, that'll do it. And I've always done this where I've repeated movie quotes and copied accents. And so I'm at these guys' house and their dad is there and I just look at their dad and I go that'll do, donkey, that'll do. And they both looked at me like why'd you say that to our dad?

Forest Blakk: 40:18

And in my head I went why did I just say that to their dad? I've never forgotten it and I think about it more than I probably should. And I'm like, why did I say that Out of all the things that could have not come out of my mouth? Like why did I say that? I don't sound so silly, but I think a lot of people do this Like. I think that, like when I say I'm my own worst critic, like that's how my brain is working, all the time, I'm like man. It's like when someone says thank you to you and you say thank you to them back, or they someone wishes you a happy birthday and you're just not there and you go. Happy birthday to you too.

Forest Blakk: 40:59

Yeah anyway, I think so. I'm like constantly going through and combing through every conversation I've ever had, most of the time being like, oh yeah, damn. So I think, like, I think, but I think a lot of people are like that. I think that's the point I'm trying to make is that, at the end of the day, people are very hard on themselves regardless and they are their own worst critic.

Lachlan Stuart: 41:20

Yeah, Do you, do you write? Like obviously I know you write music and stuff and you you're poetry. Sorry, it's just a stupid question. That's one of those moments, dude, just had, it Just happened. But real life example for everyone listening.

Forest Blakk: 41:37

That was really. That was genius how you did that.

Lachlan Stuart: 41:40

No, I set it up, obviously.

Forest Blakk: 41:41

People don't know that you have that skill set?

Lachlan Stuart: 41:43

No, well, it's, you know, along with puns, I'm quite talented. For me, writing is something that I do every morning because I want to make sense of whether it's the way that I'm thinking about myself or the thoughts that I have around certain things, because most days, as you said, having rough conversations with myself, I don't feel like I'm where I should be. I don't, you know, there's so many things going on, and when I actually start writing that out, because I've told myself it's beneficial for me, I can then start. You know, when you actually say something out loud or you read it on paper, most of the time I'm like what on earth is that? Like that's ridiculous.

Lachlan Stuart: 42:23

Like I had a client yesterday for us was telling me a reason why he didn't do something and I had to say back to him. I was like dude, I mean this in the nicest possible way, but can I just repeat back to you what you've just said to me as to why you didn't do it? And as I said it, he's been like I don't know how that came out of my mouth. That's the most ridiculous excuse of all time. And I'm like you were just so in the flow of things that you were just regurgitating bullshit to make your excuse validated. But whether it's the accountability of other people, it's verbalizing it to a camera and watching it back, it's writing it down. You can often call your brain out and just like that's not what I think, that's not what I wanna tell myself, that's not what I wanna believe. But if you just allow your subconscious to go, good luck.

Forest Blakk: 43:15

Yeah, I don't write like that, to be honest, much anymore. I think it's because I'm writing too much already. But I do have a lot of like internal conversations going on and like dialogue to help me work through those very things. Like I'm well aware that there's a version of myself inside of me that is like chatterboxing, like it's like constantly trying to like convince me not to do things that I should do for myself. You know, it's like don't go to the gym, you're tired. I'm like, yeah, but I know that when I go to the gym and I'm tired, that I feel energized, but you have it like but sleep in and you probably get there. I'm like, yeah, but that doesn't work. Like so there's this like internal dialogue and I think what I've equated it to in my life is just like biology and you know, like the fighting urges and cravings and like primitive thinking, like it's the monkey brain, like it's constantly the monkey brain is all about like instant gratification and like preserving the like tiniest moment, whereas getting through that initial thought process is a process that allows me to feel like I'm conscious and that I'm making decisions and I'm in control, and it's much like the thought of like doing something today to pay for something tomorrow. Because, like, when I look back on yesterday's version of me, I'm grateful, but it's in. This might sound weird, I don't know, and maybe a psychologist is gonna call me out for it, because maybe it's not the right thing to do, but how it works for me is like I look at the way my life is and I look at yesterday as a person separate from myself and I kind of look at tomorrow as a person that separate from myself, but it's constantly moving in that direction and I stay present in it. But one of the things I do is, like, every morning I show a lot of gratitude to yesterday's choices, and I do that because I understand that today becomes yesterday's choices, so it helps empower today's choices, and I think about how tomorrow that person is going to be grateful for what I left here, and I try to imagine that, like every day when I go to sleep, it's as if, like, a new version of me is born. It's a reset button, and so I think a lot about that, and I guess why I do that is because, like yesterday's version of me, he showed up, he did the work that I actually needed to wake up to today.

Forest Blakk: 46:20

And so literally the first thought I have in my mind when I wake up, when I'm doing everything right the day before, is that like I'm successful. It's the first thought I have is like, oh, I'm successful because yesterday I committed to a vision, a journey, a thought, a process, and I committed to it and I lived up to it. And so I'm very proud of myself for doing that and honoring the commitment, whatever it may be, whether it's going to the gym five days a week, or if it's eating a particular way or taking care of myself, or waking up and writing or doing something I always look back at yesterday and go thank you, because that version of me showed up when it was pretty difficult and it set the stage for today for me to wake up and feel successful. And so then that continues where today I'm like I loved how I felt when I woke up. I think tomorrow's version of me is going to love to wake up like that too. So I'm going to put the work in today and I'm going to hold this down, and so it kind of my life kind of fits within that like three day parameter and I just kind of float through it and it's great and I think it's a really cool exercise because, like weight loss, you know, maybe you know some people obviously won't know, but I lost a hundred pounds at one point in time and the feeling that I had looking back a year later after having had lost the weight I was so proud of, like over weight, depressed, hurt me. Going through that and like getting this body into a place where today I can go to the gym and do all these crazy different workouts I never would have dreamed of before.

Forest Blakk: 48:04

But it took that version of me showing up and I think part of how I've been able to distill it into three days is because when you've done something for yourself that's that intense or extreme, you kind of don't recognize a version of yourself anymore. It looks like a separate person. Like when I look at hundred pound heavier me, I don't know that person, like I know him, but I know him almost the same way I know you. Like it's like it's a stranger in a way, like it's foreign to me and I go wow, like. And it's weird because even visually I don't recognize myself.

Forest Blakk: 48:42

I'm like I don't actually I don't know, but and I feel so much empathy, I'm like, I feel so much for that person because man was he hurt or man was he struggling? And man did it, did he get close to taking his life? And here he is and and like how we started this call, like a version of me four years ago was living in his car and man, I'm so grateful that he showed up and went to a studio when he had nothing and decided to write his feelings out, because I today get to live in it and I get to live in the house that that got for us and I get to live with these memories on the wall that I can look back on and go, wow, like what a journey. And that makes me think of the version of me tomorrow or six months down the line who goes, hey, can you, can you, can you keep doing some stuff like that?

Lachlan Stuart: 49:30

because it really like living up to that anyway, that's a really really good way to think about it. So normally what you've probably seen our phrases do it for tomorrow is waiting. What you do today impacts the tomorrow. So be intentional with the things that you're doing, and sometimes that's working on things for your relationships. Other times it's things setting up your future, you know, putting yourself in a position to have nice things to enjoy life. Other times it's health. And, yeah, we are literally the consequences of yesterday yeah, and nothing comes easy.

Forest Blakk: 50:07

That's the part like it feels like everybody is like upset that they're not where they want to be. I hear that every day from people like I'm not here and then people don't do anything about it and then six months down the road they're pissed off because it's like you asked them like hey, how you doing? I'm still in the same place, like, oh, like, and and what a way to live life. Like it just feels so tragic. Like it feels like feels like that you're not living life. So I think, trying to get out of this like feeling of like I post something today and everyone likes me for it and all these things, because that's kind of the way life has felt for a long time.

Forest Blakk: 50:47

I think maybe people in the past like ask a farmer where they find happiness.

Forest Blakk: 50:52

It's certainly not on the days when they're out there tilling a field and planting all this stuff and waiting the five years for the ground to be good enough to grow the crop that they need like.

Forest Blakk: 51:04

So I think they're pretty good at figuring out that like all the hard work that they have to do is like preloaded and then success comes down the road. Being a musician is the same thing. Like sure, every now and then someone writes their first song and has a one-hit wonder and it takes off and then their whole life changes. But for 99.99999% of the rest of us, you know, like it's 10 years overnight, like you have to commit to yourself and stick, stick with it and then keep doing that. That's that's actually something I told somebody this week. I'm like I'm not the best, I've just outlasted the best, that's all I've done. Like there are so many people that were better than me and it was hard because I would look at them and I'm like man, if I had their talent, I would crush it, and but those are people who wouldn't live in their car and keep writing songs.

Lachlan Stuart: 51:58

Well, let's let's talk about work ethic, because I think it's an important thing. So I just to recap, like we've covered, awareness, which I think, if you're listening to this, you're probably more aware than the average punter. But then when we start looking at, I guess, doing the hard things or perseverance, as I think is such an important thing, because that's you know, we have the failure through it, we have the criticism, we have people walking out of our life, but to continue to dream and to chip away to achieve something that's not even guaranteed for you, what is it that keeps you going?

Forest Blakk: 52:39

for me, I think that it's it's literally like being born into nothing and having no ability to even have a plan B. So, like I've said this to people my whole life like I'm walking on a tightrope and there's no net below me, so if I fall, it's it like I'm, it's I'm over. So I've had this like loaded gun at me my whole life. So it gives me I just have no choice. You know, I don't know what it's like to have other options, so I live like this, whereas I can imagine that it's difficult for somebody who, whose parents are like we can go be a guitar player or we can put you in school and you could become a doctor, like those are pretty hard choices and I I don't know how I would, how I would make that decision. If someone's like schools paid, you can go become a doctor and you've got, you know, you have the foundation that you've grown on, so you're smart enough and you know how to do this. For me it's like those weren't real options. Like even if someone would have presented it to me, I didn't grow up with. Like the ability to go to the same school every year. I'd be in like eight different schools. So even my learning like. I had such an interesting learning curve so I was really good at some things but missing, like a lot of other information. So for me I think that's that's what keeps me going.

Forest Blakk: 54:00

And then I think the other part about it is once I, once I got a taste of parts of this experience, I became obsessed with it.

Forest Blakk: 54:14

So when you feel like nobody cares about you and nobody wants you and nobody cares if you're alive or dead or living or like breathing, you feel a certain way.

Forest Blakk: 54:25

And to get on stage and watch hundreds of people like applaud you and encourage you or know you or like you, that feels a certain way. You feel very special and you feel welcomed and invited into something. And I'm addicted to that feeling of feeling like I have a place in life and a sense of purpose, all the things that I grew up in and all the really hard, nasty parts of life. When I show up every day in my life, I feel a sense of purpose and I feel like that was worth something, because otherwise I really don't know what life is worth. And coming back full circle, when I look back on versions of myself that I don't like, showing up every day and putting the work in makes me feel like I can have a conversation with parts of myself and show that person grace. So I guess the other option is to not feel any of those things and that sounds pretty tragic.

Forest Blakk: 55:27

That's horrible sounds yet not ideal at all, but a lot of people are living that way, yeah the fear of feeling yeah, like that's terrifying, like and it I'm not obsessed with success, like I don't want people to get the wrong impression like, like I said earlier, if you think the plaques gonna do anything, it doesn't. It's a reminder that you can do something extraordinary. But I think that, even using that word, that's really an important understanding that, in order to experience extraordinary things, you can't make ordinary moves. You can't make, you can't do ordinary movements. You have to embrace extraordinary decisions and choices, extraordinarily difficult choices and extraordinarily wonderful choices.

Forest Blakk: 56:17

But typically, extraordinary is not found in the mundane of ordinary. You have to tempt like chaos, you have to tempt like fear and, yeah, you have to tempt walking outside the boundary of what you know of yourself, to make a lot of noise, to do something pretty special. You literally have to like, in my opinion, like tread on the line of insanity almost, and crazy. You know, I think about, like you know, when you watch the Olympics, those people that will like do 100 flips in the air and like I could just never do that. I do not have the confidence or trust in myself to make an extraordinary action with my body, and so I've never been able to escape the restrictive confine of that thought. So my body will never move in that extraordinary way. My body will always move in an ordinary way.

Forest Blakk: 57:25

But I imagine if I was willing to invest and continue with something, my body I may not make it to the Olympics, but I will find extraordinary results the more extraordinary input I put into it. And I think that that's really what it kind of boils down to when there's no knocking on anybody who lives an ordinary life. I admire people who can do that. I envy people like that because it's pretty special. I think an ordinary life is a pretty great life. But to push the bounds of my body and my mind and my spirit, that to me is pretty special and I love that Again, like I'm obsessed with it.

Lachlan Stuart: 58:10

I love that man and I want to be mindful of your time and I know we could chat for hours. You've got a big tour coming up. You've also got some new music coming out. Where can people find you follow? You do all the things, maybe even have a phone call with you when you open the phone back up.

Forest Blakk: 58:31

Well, I have a number for all, like everyone in America, so 3104963464. People can text me and join what's called community, which is something I take a lot of pride in, where I text with my fans and it's always me. There's no bots or anything, it's literally just me, one at a time, that's right.

Forest Blakk: 58:48

It takes a long time. Now. There's thousands and thousands of people in there, of course, across all socials, and people can go find me on Spotify, apple Music, amazon. Please download songs, because it helps us artists out. Do it. Yeah, people can find me everywhere. And then I'm on tour with James Arthur starting at the end of April. All through May, we're doing All North America, which is really exciting, and we're playing in, so cool places.

Lachlan Stuart: 59:15

So James Arthur was my breakup song for my last relationship. Wow yeah, when we're at yours the other night and you're like, yeah, I'm doing that, I was just like fuck. So on the way home I was like this is the song. Guys, we're in our little soccer mom car and playing that tune.

Forest Blakk: 59:31

That's so funny. Yeah, so you're going to come and you're going to be able to listen to your breakup song.

Lachlan Stuart: 59:37

Yeah, and just you'll see me crying in the corner.

Forest Blakk: 59:41

That's just it. Oh God, why did that? Yeah, so I got all that going on and then I got a whole bunch of brand new music that I've worked on that I'm very proud of, and a new chapter of my artistry, which is just opening up to feelings that I've had for a long time and things that I want to say. And I think one of the beautiful parts about being an artist is that, you know, I get the chance to reinvent myself over and over again and I get to tell these stories that have happened to me and find ways of telling them. And you know, this new chapter of my life a lot of it is going back, in a way, to a place where I started and revisiting some of the emotions that I had and working through them and communicating them in a way that I know how to.

Forest Blakk: 1:00:31

And it's not that I haven't been excited about music in the past, but I think that part of the growth where I'm at in my career is this constant desire to be more and more and more authentic with my art and reveal feelings, because, much like this obsession about connecting with people, I have found that the more vulnerable I've been, the more it actually connects with people, because naturally, people have felt those things too. So the more you just say shit, the way it is like, I think people get it. And yeah, I just have music that I'm sitting on and is loaded to come out and it does that for me. Like it's kind of the first time where I'm looking at my music and it might sound so strange, but like I'm a fan, it's music that I needed when I was 15 years old.

Forest Blakk: 1:01:30

That's awesome, and I found a way now to start writing that and it's almost it's me kind of writing for me and I think that fans will maybe find themselves in it and I'd be very lucky if they do, and that's it. I think that's what it comes down to. If it connects with people, I think it's kind of the shadow work of everything. It's honoring that version of me and things inside of me and things that I feel and what a beautiful thing to be recognized for. You know, rather than just trying to force a song to become something, this is like this is what it is and if it becomes something, wow, like what an honor to be known for that.

Lachlan Stuart: 1:02:14

So Forrest Black, everyone, mate, thank you so much for joining me again and, guys, if you have questions, forrest will be back next year for episode six. Wow, you get long service in five years time. That's crazy, and you never know where we'll be. Who knows. La maybe, who knows, I'd rather stand natural.