The 3 Steps To Daily Success | Jason Jenkins #563

Jason Jenkins shares his journey from the financial industry to sales and business coaching. He discusses two pivotal moments that led him to where he is today: the 2008 crisis and a personal awakening in 2020. Jason emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and asks the question, 'Would I follow you?' He outlines three steps for personal growth: subtract before you add, embrace the power of regret, and have the courage to face your fears.


🤝 Subtract before you add: Remove the things that don't belong in your life to create space for what does.
🤝Embrace the power of regret: Reflect on what you did too much or too little of each day to identify habits that need to change.
🤝Have the courage to face your fears: Confront the negative behaviors or patterns that hold you back from becoming the person you want to be.
🤝Set standards and prioritise: Determine who you want to become and focus on building the life and relationships that align with your values. 

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:52

Welcome back to the show. Today we are going to have a unique take on becoming a better man, and today's guest is Jason Jenkins. And we've been introduced by a mutual friend, justin, and I'm very excited to be able to have you on the show, jason. It's been a long time coming. I've been back in Australia, around to LA Vegas, and making this happen was a bit of a whirlwind on my half, just because I find when I'm traveling it's very chaotic. We'll use that as the terminology, not an excuse, but just how it was. But, jason, welcome to the show.

Speaker 2: 1:27

Yeah, thank you so much for having me, Lockie. I'm excited to be here and have this conversation and bring some value to your community.

Speaker 1: 1:35

So before we dive into the deeper topics, I'd love to get a bit more of a glimpse of your story and some of those pivotal moments that led you into the sales and business coaching world.

Speaker 2: 1:46

Yeah, great. So a little about myself 25 years in the financial industry. I always like to say I'm a SoCal kid from San Diego, so that's kind of where I live in Colorado now, but my roots go back to that, and I did my undergrad in Santa Barbara and did my MBA out in San Diego, and I'm proud that I've been married for 25 years and two wonderful kids, and part of that journey, though, is in the industry. I would tell you there's probably two key pivotal moments that have brought me here today. One was the 2008 crisis. So, as an advisor, you know, there was just a lot of people got hurt significantly, and there I was, I like to say, at the kitchen table, you know, helping people overcome that or get through that, and I simply, like every entrepreneur, ask the question.

Speaker 2: 2:36

There's got to be a better way to do this right, and that led me down a journey of falling in love, lockie, with behavioral finance and neurofinance the study of us as humans as it relates to both biologically and behaviorally and so I wrote my first book called Break it Five Rules Every Investor Must Break. I thought that's my way to contribute to the world. You know, you break it by following it. So I was a little creative. I thought maybe. But I'm like well, I found the problem but not the solution. And what happened, lockie, was I developed a software called AssetLock and it was a communication tool. So really, when you go into that kind of relationship, you naturally have expectations right On how my money is going to grow but, more importantly, how you're not going to blow me up. And so that's where it sat and it did a great job and I built it for my own company at the time just you know what I mean as a competitive advantage.

Speaker 2: 3:30

And my business took off. And so people are like what are you doing? And I was like, oh, I'm just kind of getting better. And they're like, no, you're not, like you're doing something. And it was February of 14, where I someone was like I want to license this. I'm like, okay, sure, I had no idea to be honest with you. And they're like, well, you're really good at like you know this talking and coaching. Can you coach our advisors on how to use it? And I'll never forget this, lockie.

Speaker 2: 3:54

I was in Atlanta first training and when I was done, I was like you know what? I like this a lot more than working with individual clients because there was a sense of impact and um, and since that moment I a couple of years later, I sold my practice and um, I really wanted to see how far I could take this, because I understood the impact I could have and what was cool from it. I ended up being advisor of the year in 2014 for the country, did a TED talk, done some cool things like that, and then I sold that software company to a private equity firm in August of 18, where I currently sit as the chief sales officer. So that was the first moment. And then the second moment was more of a personal journey. I think we can get to, but in August of 2020, I felt like I really met myself for the first time, if I could say that.

Speaker 1: 4:48

Can you expand a bit more on that? So, when people are hearing you met yourself for the first time, especially in 2020, that's quite recent four years at the time of that what? What does that mean to you and how did you sort of get to that point?

Speaker 2: 5:02

I so. Specifically, it was Monday, august 10th of 2020, at four 30 in the morning. I um, I got out of bed, I walked over to uh, my bathroom sink and I put both my hands on the counter and I looked in the mirror and I asked myself one question and the question was this would I follow you? And I remember, for the very first time, saying maybe. And I was like I'm sorry, what? Maybe?

Speaker 2: 5:28

Because I was so proud, lucky, of all the things that I had accomplished. I'm like your type A, like okay, you did 10 pushups, I'll do 11. You did like a grind it out, like let's go, let's knock it down. And my life was all about what are you doing? Where are you going? How are you going to crush it? And I was like that's just how the Lord built me.

Speaker 2: 5:44

But for the very first time, like I, when I looked in the mirror, the reason, a lot of things that I was proud of. But there was another person there, someone that was that was greater, and I just made a commitment that day, at almost 46 years of age, I said I'm going to go find that guy and I'm going to go build him. And I can proudly tell you ever since that day I'd be. I've been doing that on a daily basis because I shifted Lockie, the question, and this was the or, the focus. The focus is, like I mentioned to you, about what am I doing, and it moved to who am I becoming?

Speaker 2: 6:21

And because you got to realize so in my my success of journey, um, if I backpedal it, I actually got screwed really hard with the software company. Somebody copied it. Uh, cost me millions of dollars. It was. It cost me millions of dollars. It was a lot of fun that's a joke and I was bitter. I'm serious. I'm just going to be really honest with you and your audience. I was pissed and I was living in fear. I was eating like shit and I was drinking too much. Those were all the things that I was like.

Speaker 2: 7:00

And then that was manifesting itself, locking other things, like my relationship with my marriage. Like I was, we had a good marriage, but it's nowhere near where it is today. And and so I um, so I started leaning in. So I was a soft two, 55. Uh, if you've been to my Instagram, you can see that that's not me anymore and I'm proud of that. And uh, you know, at almost age 50, I'm I'm in the best shape that I've ever been in, and and um, I plan to actually get on stage when I turn 50 this october and and uh, compete.

Speaker 1: 7:22

So that's what we're doing dude congrats, that's awesome I think, there's so many points I can pull away from that. I want to start, obviously, with that first question. You said would I follow you? The question you asked yourself in the mirror? I think that's such a powerful and it can be quite daunting to ask yourself that question because I can imagine a lot of people would not follow the person that they're looking back at or the reflection of the person looking back at them, and I love how you turned that to then go well, who do I need to become to be the individual that I do want to follow?

Speaker 1: 8:01

And a lot of resistance I see with people that I work with and listeners is oh, maybe I'm too old, maybe I've missed the boat. And you said this happened at 46, right? Did you experience those thoughts where you're like, oh, maybe I am too old to change, maybe the best years are behind me, or what allowed you or enabled you to just go? Look, doesn't ages isn't even a thing. I'm getting this done.

Speaker 2: 8:21

I great question. I think there's two parts to that. I always lived with this sense of fear of like I was never content where I was at, I always felt I was behind when I was 32, 36, 41, you know what I mean. So like there was always that push, so uh. So that was the first part. But when I lucky to answer your question, when I literally, for the very first time in my life, was brutally honest with myself, there there was no turning back.

Speaker 2: 8:49

And I think we all have to get to that point. I'm sure you would agree with me to where you know you, you have to own it yourself. And I'm sure you would agree with me to where you know you, you have to own it yourself. Like you can't help some, you can't make somebody else change they, they want to make that change.

Speaker 2: 9:04

And I can seriously tell you today, as I sit here on this podcast with you at 49 and a half, I feel like I'm just getting started, because I'm like oh, so that's what this is like and I was like. So yesterday I was talking to the local high school, been doing it I don't know five years from now their leadership class, and all I did was spend the whole time saying if somebody would have told me who are you becoming, I'd have 20 X the money, 20 X the relationships and all this stuff that gets in the way. And I'm like none of this other knowledge matters unless you become the person that, no matter where you're dropped into, you're undeniable. So that's what I would say to that.

Speaker 1: 9:42

When you start asking yourself that question what would be for an individual who steps in that process, for an individual, to start working out who they do want to become, if they just, you know, are really struggling with self-esteem and self-confidence and they lack direction?

Speaker 2: 10:04

So I've got three steps and and I will tell you like this is something that kind of naturally impacted self uh, over the last whatever three and a half years uh, going into four years here. So the very first thing is you have to remove. You have to subtract first before you add. You have to remove the things that don't belong. There's only so much time, energy and space that you, me, elon Musk I don't care who's on this planet has right, and so often in this society you're like, hey, you need to go, do more, add more and all of this. And the reality is the answer is no. I have to create space for what belongs. So the first step is subtraction. The second step is the power of regret. Every night, before you go to bed, I dare you and your audience to do the following. It will radically shift your life is you ask yourself at the end of the day, what do I regret? Cause regret has two forms Either I did too much of something, or what Not enough of something, and so that gives me my feedback. Lockie to go. Oh man, I should not have had five beers today if I'm trying to get in shape, right, or hey, I should have made an extra phone call or an extra email on my business. It allows you to actually examine what is happening so that you can recreate the habits that you want. And then the third step, and the most important one, is courage. You got to have the courage. What I like to say is to face that bear, the bear that sits, and he knows you. So if it's fear, greed, anxiety, laziness, alcohol, anger, whatever it is that manifests itself, you have to, you've got to face it for what it's worth and realize I have to fight that. And the way you fight it is for those three steps. And here's what happens. So, the moment you begin to tell the world like hey, I'm getting rid of this, this could be friends, this could be whatever it is, you set a standard. Okay. And then the regret. When I set the standard, the regrets, if you think about it, I began to identify the habits that need to engine that, and so what does that do? That produces a result. So what I like to identify the habits that need to engine that, and so what does that do? That produces the results. So what I like to say is that standards plus habits, equal results in every aspect of your life. So if you're like, I'm not happy with the results I'm getting, I will reverse engineer my way into your life. I'm like well, let's take a look at your habits. What are you trying to do? You're like, hey, I'm trying to get in shape. Well, you're probably doing a little too much of this and not enough of this. Right and goals don't mean shit, lockie. That's where I'm at in my life.

Speaker 2: 12:32

Your standard is the flag that you raise and you tell the world this is who I am, this is the authentic Jason Jenkins. And when you do that, it becomes super empowering. Where people are like well, I know the problem, but how do I tackle it? I'm like this is how you tackle it, and I have coached so many people in the last three and a half years because I had to live it myself. First down 40 or 50 pounds doubled their business. Their marriage is in their best spot after 35 years. Because the dude's like man, I thought it was her and it's actually me. And I'm like yeah, because you focus, you're like I got to be the best husband, father, friend and business owner. So that's, that's my advice on how to go. How to go fight it.

Speaker 1: 13:16

Those three steps is solid and they're very tangible. Right Subtract first before you add.

Speaker 1: 13:22

I've been very guilty over the years of always trying to add more to my play Cause I'm like that's the thing that's going to solve it, but I don't reflect on, maybe, what I can remove to make space to truly do that properly. The power of regret, obviously doing too much or something not enough, really considering and being intentional with those things, and then the courage to face the bear, as you said or for me it's using fear as your compass I think are extremely powerful things to to consider when we're looking to grow. So for those who've not written those down, they'll be in the show notes for sure, because they're very tangible things that you can then start considering in your own life. One thing that I think about a lot for our audiences as well, is they may be listening to this and they're like right, jason had a successful business he was doing well. It must be easy for you to decide at 46 years you want to change things up. You maybe have the financial freedom to do it, or whatever it may be.

Speaker 1: 14:19

I want to go back to something you said at the beginning which I want to highlight as well. As you've been married for 25 years, you've got two children as well. So you do have you're not just the dude who lives for his business. You've got other things going on in your life. What enables you to prioritize what's important to get the results that you want? Cause you were also the top advisor in 2014, obviously a great father. Now you're getting on stage, so you're doing some pretty cool stuff in completely separate areas. What enables you to do that cool?

Speaker 2: 14:49

stuff in completely separate areas. What enables you to do that? So, to go back, I tell you that I married the most amazing woman. That's been super supportive and there was a journey in there when I told you there was a challenge for me. Again, I'm being. I want to be completely transparent today.

Speaker 2: 15:07

Where it was kind of selfish and when I made that switch about who I was becoming, what I realized like is there was a greater sense of saying no. I got excellent at beginning to remove no, no, no. So my yeses were super intentional and I realized that you know that what? What did my wife deserve? Okay, I got to go build that. Who is the father that my children deserve? I got to go build that. Who is the father that my children deserve? I got to go build that. And what's really cool, so my son's 21 in college, my daughter's 18. She's a senior in high school and I caught it and I'm so grateful that I can say this to you. It kind of makes me emotional. I caught it in enough time to where my kids now are, at a point where they want to emulate their dad. They literally, they literally are telling their mom like, kind of like my dad's my hero in a way, Right, Because they, they, they watched. They watched a dude show up and I kind of kept my mouth shut. I'm like I'm going to let the results speak for it, so things that would bother me before. I'm like, no, I'm up, I'm not putting energy towards that, Right, hey, like dad's like waking up at four 30 every morning and and towards that right, hey, like dad's like waking up at four 30 every morning and he's, he's at the gym, he's reading. I'm watching him change in all these different ways. So, going back to your question like how did I continue to accomplish that? And and I got a lot on my plate today is through prioritizing, through saying no a lot, but knowing who I am and, ultimately, where I want to go.

Speaker 2: 16:28

I feel like Lockie, a lot of men, especially if I can just say that you know, there there's a lot of pressure on in society.

Speaker 2: 16:35

You know, in different ways and it's just like kind of bullshit. It's like listen, you know, like men, men are great, Like we're bad-asses and we were designed to hunt and kill and all that other good stuff, and women are awesome in their own way and like, when we come together, it's like, you know, it's like 20 X, right, and it's like we live in this society. It's like kind of mess that up. And so, as guys are kind of like, well, who am I supposed to be, who can I be? And it's like no dude, you got to go be the person you were designed to be and you got to step and so you got to be able to see the person you have to be able to see, like this is the life that I want, and you get away from comparing just because someone's got, you know, 30 cars and a big business and all that. I know a lot of people that are completely miserable because they got focused on the what and not who they're becoming.

Speaker 1: 17:28

It's a very important point and I've fallen into it and I'm sure a lot of people listening have fallen into that comparison as well. But going back to the whole point of getting clear on who you are and even tying it into what you said earlier around standards and, I think, the state of the world at the moment with masculinity and whose role is what, and all of that sort of stuff, to me we're trying to make everything inclusive to the point that nothing really is grabbing people. And I'm still thinking I'll probably say I'm thinking this out loud, but I think that some communities are beneficial because they do exclude people because of the standards that they have, not from a position of malice and we're better, but these are the standards, the beliefs and the values that we have. If you maybe don't meet those standards yet, here's the benchmark for you to work towards to become part of that community. Because, look, jason, I remember for myself when I first started in business, one of my initial goals was make a million dollars.

Speaker 1: 18:25

I didn't have a reason why. I was just like like that sounds cool. I then knew that in order to be able to start thinking like them, seeing how they do, that, I needed to hang out with them, but they didn't want to hang out with me with where I was currently at. So rather than going, oh, the rich people are assholes and they don't accept me.

Speaker 1: 19:43

For me, I was like okay, well, I need to be the individual that can add value to that group of people, and I see that with our community as well. We want men to be better for the standards that we have, where we can protect, provide, be empathetic and lead, and if you don't meet that, that's okay, we're not going to belittle you. But here's some standards to help you get better, or here's a roadmap to help you get better, and I think the current state of society they're just like let's welcome everyone regardless of where they're at, and because of that, there's no desire to improve, and that's also sort of circling back around to why I feel a lot of people lack purpose, they're depressed, they're overweight, their relationships are toxic, because there is no need to be better.

Speaker 2: 20:27

A hundred percent. I couldn't agree with you more. And the reality is, is that because I want to go back to what I said before. If you can't see what you want for your life, right, and if you can't, I mean it doesn't have to be this great dream, but it could be as simply as like and I looked in the mirror, like that that's what I'm not supposed to look like. Let's just start there. It doesn't take.

Speaker 2: 20:47

You don't need more information to get in shape, correct? You're like I need to probably drink a lot of water, walk around the block, stop drinking, put down the donuts and pizza. Like I know what I got to do. You're like I got to start doing it, correct? Hey, if I want a better marriage, maybe I should show a little bit more kindness and have more joy. You know what I mean? And just different things like that. Like there's a level of principles that I don't need more information.

Speaker 2: 21:10

What we need a society of is more action, more boldness, more courage. Right To lean into that. Listen, it is hard to show love, grace, forgiveness and compassion. It's easy to hate and be pissed and bitter, and all of that Like a real man, in my opinion, is a man that's willing to push the weights and then get down on a knee and ask for forgiveness, like that's a man, right, like that's what it's like to carry the crown and be a badass, like you know. So that to me, that's what we need more of, both as examples and role models in our society, so that people are like, yeah, that's what we need to point to.

Speaker 1: 21:50

There's a lot of people who, once again, coming back to what we mentioned earlier, don't feel like they belong, and for me it's going okay.

Speaker 1: 21:58

Well, if you want to belong in that area of being a badass, in the way that you can lift the weights but also ask for forgiveness, what do you or who do you need to become, as you said, to be in that?

Speaker 1: 22:09

And we don't go from zero to 100. What's the next step for me, with where I'm currently at and this comes back to responsibility If you can acknowledge where you're at, even if it sucks, we all have things about ourselves that we're not happy with, but if you can go this is where I'm at we lay the true foundation to build upon, to go okay, in order for me to be able to bench 100 kilos or what's that? 80 pounds or whatever it is no, probably more sorry, 225 pounds In order for me to be able to do that, maybe I just first need to get my gym membership or find a trainer or whatever that first or next step is for you in order to continue building, and even if it takes you Rome wasn't built in a day, a number of years to get there you've still got a roadmap, and that's what a lot of people are too impatient to really build the foundations to achieve the things that they want from their life.

Speaker 2: 22:58

Yeah, and I would go back to those three steps is they're not following those three steps on a daily basis, right? Is, are you good at saying no, like what's got to go, that's got to go. But if you don't have that feedback loop that you keep close, like, oh, I'm going to check in with myself once a week, you're toast, like there's gotta be that. Okay, hey, how did today go? Well, you know what I mean. And so, hey, I was, I got too short with my spouse. Or like I told you, like I didn't spend enough time on the phone prospecting or whatever application you want to use it for.

Speaker 2: 23:29

Then you're not going to be able to see the next day. This is important. When it shows up, you're like, oh, I see you, that's why I call it the barrel. I'm like you, motherfreaker, I see you. And you're not going to win, right, because how many like lucky if you and I are honest and that's where we're going to be right now, I let bitterness and fear take years out of my life.

Speaker 2: 23:47

Now, I was still plugging away, okay, and, and I was proud of that, but I'm talking about like, when I got home, it was just like well, I'm sitting around, you know, drinking a bottle of wine, sucking down a bowl of spaghetti, and then let's flush out with some ice cream, Like what the fudge you know, like, come on, you know, and and. Just so I wasn't like stepping into that true potential because I didn't realize, like by me fixing these other areas in my life, how it was going to quantify itself out and and again. To your point everyone's got to start, but if you don't have the mechanisms in place to keep you on the rails and you're just going to be a statistic like hey, I started but I never quit, and then that frustration wheel just continues to go and time goes by and we've all felt those feelings. Um, but that that's why. That's why you have to have those three elements.

Speaker 1: 24:40

For you. What drove you then going back to the beginning with the sales component. Sales is something that I believe everyone should learn, because it's the art you know being able to sell yourself. We're doing that every day. I sold you to come on this podcast.

Speaker 2: 24:54

Yes.

Speaker 1: 24:55

And people think it's always like cars or houses or everything like that, but it's literally the outcomes that we're getting for ourselves. That's how I interpreted it, to feel comfortable with it. But also, the art of negotiation really helps you in relationship. You know we all have heated discussions, sometimes arguments that we need to be able to negotiate to to find a common ground there. So, for you, how has it impacted your life? What are some key key results that have sort of come off the back of learning sales?

Speaker 2: 25:25

So I, so I love obviously talking about this topic because we live in a very interesting time as humans here, and so what do I mean by that? So history is a great teacher to us all. I believe that we all stand on the shoulders of others that have gone before us. And so when you think about, like human history okay, as it relates to business context, the very first documented human, uh, documented business experience goes back to the Mesopotamian society, so there's like 70,000 years ago, and it was done on a clay. It was like three goats, a donkey and a horse or something like that, Right, and, and they're like great, here's the receipt and you're like all right, cool.

Speaker 2: 26:02

But when you think about in context of sales, it's a very simple model that we all want to over complex. So anytime somebody has a need or a problem, like they have a current state and then they have a desired state that they want that fix from like, hey, I want, I'm hungry, I want to go to lunch, or I have to get new shoes or buy a home, the you know. And so the question is is, between these two worlds, how do I go about going from where I'm at to problem solve? Then that's one word. It's information. Okay, so I need the right information to make the most informed decision of my choices and features, and so on. So if you look at that historically, luckily, here's how that's happened. Well, an entrepreneur comes along and says, oh my gosh, I can solve that problem, creates a product or a service, and they go out there and start presenting that to the world, and so the person raises their hand and says, well, I need information. Well, between the Mesopotamian society until about 2000,. You know how that went down. That guess who was the conduit, a salesperson or the entrepreneur? And they're like I'm going to date myself. When I first got into business, I had like a trifold brochure. You know, like I get around with a Thomas guide. Before there was Yahoo maps. So I've just dated myself. So and and so all of that began. That got flipped, and this is important because for the very first time, so the internet comes out and it begins to then take the information in front of us, the humans, and that is only exponentially grown over the last 24 years, and you can see it in the numbers and in fact, as I sit here today, 92% of the US is connected via on the Internet and by 2030, the world think about this the world will be at 91% on the Internet. That is not far away at all. So it's.

Speaker 2: 27:45

And we know that AI is radically going to impact in how we access information. So you say, OK, Jason, if that's kind of where we're at, and that's the challenge like what is, what is the future and how do I fight that and what do I believe? You have to get back in front of the information, and the only way to do that is through mastering the art of human connection. That is the future, and there's actual tools that you can use inside your business that can separate you from your competition. In 90 seconds, the person can begin to feel that you're different. So, in a sea of options right that are out there, how how do I stand myself up? Because I hear this all the time Every vertical is crowded. It doesn't. Well, mine's more crowded, no, no, they're all. There's competition everywhere and so, um. So that is the foundation to it, but the future is about human connection.

Speaker 1: 28:40

Can we dive into? Obviously within that 90, 90 second period of standing out from the crowd, what are some tips around building human connection, because it can help you both professionally in the workplace but also personally. A lot of what I experienced, even when I moved to America. One of the podcasts I put out was like I'm going to make friends within a month and I consider myself quite knowledgeable and outgoing and making friends and I really struggled with the human connection part just culturally here. So I'd love to hear from or learn from you just more about those human connection points.

Speaker 2: 29:16

Yeah, so kind of keep it in in business context and I'll kind of pull it into the personal side, so, like when somebody meets your brand, there's only two questions they want to know in that journey to making decisions. They want to know who are you and then why you. And it's in that order in order for trust, cause at the end of the day, relationships are built and maintained on trust Correct, like that, like that's it at the end of the day. So, okay, well, who are you? And most people quickly want to default to their resume.

Speaker 2: 29:46

Hey, lockie, let me tell you about myself. Hey, I've been on TV, written some books, you know what I mean. I kind of call it the doctor effect, like, hey, I'm, I'm kind of a big deal. You know what I mean, you know, um, when it's completely the opposite, because the world is begging for authenticity now more than ever. So then how do you communicate that People want to know why you love, why do you love what you do? That's what they want to know, and so so I I basically I've coached it for such a long time. I call it your connection story, and so it's a matter of crafting your story in the context of business to where, like literally like in 90 seconds. Hey, before we get started here, lucky, I'd love to share with you like what brings me here on your podcast and why I love what I do. And I begin to unpack my journey, my journey, in a very succinct way to where it's. It's usually anchored in some pivotal moment that, hey, I was going left and now I'm going right, and I kind of share with you one of mine, what happened on August 10th. You're like, and now I'm never the same. And so that people really get the sense that, wow, lockie really cares about me as a person, right? So when you check that box because trust has two pieces, it has connection and credibility I check the box of ah, I think I like Lockie.

Speaker 2: 30:58

And when I begin to like you, I begin to do what Trust you. So I always like to say the arms come unconnected and now I'm leaning, I'm like all right, now, lockie, now how can you actually help me get to solving my problems? And then the other tools inside of that are things like I call our bridge statements and question funnels and different tools that a lot of people just don't know how to properly connect with somebody, that really finding the problem and then probably connecting that to the solution to it. And so remember there's two things when you're trying to build trust, it's uh, I always like to say your yes has no power unless you can say no. We have a problem that we run around like, oh, I can help everybody, and it's like no, you can't. But when you find somebody on this planet that you know you can help and you possess the power of no, they can feel your energy. They're like, oh, my God, like this person cares Right.

Speaker 2: 31:52

And the second about is credibility. A lot of us want. You know, we fly around with our opinions and I'm like nobody cares about your opinion. What they care about, lockie, is your insight. I want to know what have you learned, and how you frame something up is more important today than ever, because when you sound like everybody else and you're just regurgitating everything, then they're like, well, that's just white noise and I'm going to move on. And so those are some of the fundamental things. When you get to know that in sales and you realize that it's on this human connection it gives you such a competitive advantage, and then when you work on those tools, they kind of naturally begin to kind of bleed themselves into your personal life as well.

Speaker 1: 32:35

Yeah, I think as a result I was just thinking, as you were saying, those things trust. Forming your own opinions requires you to do research. It then requires you to think about what it means to you, what challenges you with it, what maybe challenges other people, and, as a result, you're building self-awareness, right, right, and self-awareness is part of what allows us to understand what we value, who we want to spend time with, what really matters to us, and a lot of people don't really afford themselves the time to ever do that. It's like we'll read a quick instagram post and that's, all of a sudden, the truest thing I've ever read. Yeah, that could have been one of those joke blogs.

Speaker 1: 33:11

You, you know so, true, and that's the challenge with people is, as you said, their opinions. They don't really dive much deeper to form their own insight to that so they can add value to other people's lives by bringing that there. And that's why, even with this podcast, I'm so grateful that I get to speak to people like yourself and so many other people who do take time to think about what their opinions mean and the insight and what they've actually learned from that, because then it gives me something to. You know, I've taken a bucket load of notes already that I then get to go away and think about and research a lot more to form my own insights and opinions.

Speaker 2: 33:50

And we don't take enough time I love. One thing you just said I wanted to kind of go back to is that we don't take enough time or permission to give ourselves to think. You know. So one of the habits that I've plugged into my life living in Colorado is is like I love going to the hot springs. It's like my thing.

Speaker 2: 34:06

I try to get there three to four times a month and it's and it's three and a half hours of just Jason Jenkins time, like I'm going to go by myself most of the time and it's like honey, I will check in when I get there If the house doesn't burn down, kind of leave me alone. But it's amazing when we just reflect and we're quiet for a second, you know, like no phone calls and no messages, and and get a chance to reflect on, hey, what was the week like and where am I going, and what was good and bad, and in between, you know it just, it strengthens that muscle of of awareness and from awareness becomes ah, that's the lesson or that's got to get better. Hey, I'm proud of this.

Speaker 1: 34:44

Such powerful points. What's something that you've done recently that you're extremely proud of?

Speaker 2: 34:51

Um, I would say that I'm extremely proud of is it's almost kind of the consistency Lockie of like, who I just continue to build and recognize. I guess I'm in the midst of it. Like I told the audience, like October 5th I'm literally going to get on the stage at 50. I mean, and pose is, like it's kind of intimidating, like you know what I mean. I'm like, am I really going to do this? Like Holy smokes. And I'm like, yeah, I am. And so I feel like I'm proud that I have declared that and that I'm going to do that. And I've almost um, parked the expectations Again, I'm a competitive person, so, but you know, I mean I've hired a coach and he's you know, he's being a great coach.

Speaker 2: 35:33

But like, I've hired a coach and he's being a great coach, but I'm really proud of just staying committed to that and just kind of focusing in on a daily basis. I got asked the question yesterday like, hey, who would you say you are? I said, well, I'm a better person today than I was yesterday. That's how close I'm keeping it. I just got to show up and be, and I want to wake up and be like, okay, am I, was I better today than I was yesterday. So those are the things I'm proud of.

Speaker 1: 36:00

I love that. That's awesome. When we touched on before about being authentic and especially bringing that into the workplace, I was at a point, probably a decade ago, where I didn't think the real, like the authentic version of myself was good enough. I didn't think I would be liked or appreciated, so I blended in and I just became. You know, put the mask on, as the metaphor goes. For people who are in that position, how would they go about building their confidence up, or learning to accept that their authentic self is enough and sap, or learning to accept that?

Speaker 2: 36:35

their authentic self is enough. I would say it has to go back to, like, I like to say, is fighting your bear and you got to go build that person. And because what comes from that is confidence, right, what comes from that is awareness. What comes from that are the results. So, like, when you begin to wrestle with your bear and let's just say it's the bear of fear, and you begin to overcome that, that begins to manifest itself in other aspects of your life, correct? You're like, hey, I'm fighting this and I'm winning this battle and it's not going to numb me anymore the fear of speaking up, like the fear of sharing my idea. Let's stick with that, right. And so, therefore, as I win that, I begin to see things. And when you begin to kind of fight that bear, what I can tell you from experience and coaching too many people around this they begin to see problems that others don't see. Right, and in a world that is all about bringing more value and solving more problems, I'm telling you at the highest level, that's what I've seen. So that's that's how you begin to to move past that.

Speaker 2: 37:37

Or are you sticking with your analogy about removing the mask and like, oh, this is who Lockie is and I was like, okay, who's this guy? Where was he been? Right, and you know. But you, you can't give me something you don't have, lockie, you can't. If I was thirsty and there was an empty glass in front of us, what's the first thing you have to do? You got to fill it up with water, correct? Before that you can give me anything, and we miss that fundamental step. That means I got to go work on myself. It's why I repeat it all the time Once you understand that who I become is everything and I move towards that consistently over and over again walls begin to break down, because now you actually have something to give, because people are like, hey, hold on a second, you're getting results, whatever. That is, self-confidence, marriage, physicalness, emotional but you can't give something to somebody that you don't possess. You've got to go get it first.

Speaker 1: 38:36

So there is no easy way and I'm glad we went back to those main points, because people are really looking for this quick fix. We always are. It's why people are more medicated than ever before. People are not in a position to, they're not resilient enough, because it takes work and the journey is different for everyone. As you said, it's like you choose that destination and let's get moving, but it's not linear, like it is a bit of a roller coaster, and the only way you can do it is by acquiring that information and then putting the foot on the pavement and get walking or running if you want to run.

Speaker 2: 39:12

There's. There's no other way around it.

Speaker 1: 39:14

If there was, they would have figured it out 2000 years ago, like long before we figured it out, you know we've just overcomplicated things in today's society before, obviously, back in, when you had that realization from a mental health perspective in the workplace and stuff, what have been some strategies that you now implement in your daily life to allow yourself to be the best version of yourself on a daily basis, so you can be better than better today than you were yesterday.

Speaker 2: 39:46

So it really are those basic tools of that. I constantly re-examine it and then I've, and I've really established like the right, the right structure, and so the very first step I'm going to I really established like the right, the right structure, and so the very first step I'm going to go back to those and and is and you know, is that I had to constantly just what's got to go. I mean I can't. It's back to those three things. So I wake up every day going damn it, like I could have done that better, like so that's the courage of it. Like I want to be really clear, like my bear of fear and and and sometimes, when I think back to like the names, that a name can come up that screwed me in the past, and what bubbles up from my souls, I just want to punch them in the face.

Speaker 2: 40:24

So I'm being honest, you know, I'm like, damn, those people were causing me millions of dollars, like what the hell? And then I'm like, okay, energy gone, or like whatever, like you know. Or like something like in my marriage, like my wife says something like, okay, like what the heck you know? And so because of those habits and those routines, it allows me to see where that shortcoming is. But again, I'm only being redundant because it works, lockie, is you have to get so good at saying no and creating the space, so subtraction, and then for me that regret tool is super powerful.

Speaker 2: 40:57

I could have been kinder, I could have done this better, I could have asked for more help, whatever, but then most people just simply don't have the courage to show up. Every day I have great days and I have bad days and so on, but I have more great days than I have bad days, and so it allows me to perpetually move north to where I want to go. And so that montage of standards plus habits equal results, I hope it's on my tombstone, honestly, like, hey, jason Jenkins, october 1st, 174 to who knows how long I have. He was a great dad, friend, businessman, and standards plus habits equal results. He lived by that. Like that's what I hope.

Speaker 1: 41:39

I love that. Standards plus habits equal results. So, jason, where can everyone find you if they decide they want to do some work with you, if they want to watch a TED Talk or grab your books? Where can people find that information.

Speaker 2: 41:52

Yeah, so I would encourage them to go to Instagram. Uh, jason M Jenkins, underscore you know. You know I post quite a bit of content there and I love posting content that I feel is valuable. So, um, and then the. The book uh is um on Amazon and uh I the Ted talk is on good old uh YouTube flying around out there so you can see a younger version.

Speaker 1: 42:14

You can see the uh, I think it was in 17 when I did that, so so yeah, it's been an absolute pleasure, some things that I've really taken away and I just want to recap from the context you do have a family and kids and you've run a business and you're also working on this getting on stage in six months time or so also working on this getting on stage in six months time or so, which is going to be incredible, because you're still juggling these important buckets of life that I think too many people believe you can't manage, that it's like we have to just completely go all in on our career and sacrifice our relationships and our health to do that.

Speaker 1: 42:47

I think there's a lot more people now putting their hand up and proving that to be difficult, uh, different, purely because of what you've labeled out in a very simple three-step framework from subtract first, before you can add I think that's an absolute key point the power of regret and finally, the courage facing the bear doing those hard. To me, it's doing the hard thing, because that's where you're going to build resilience and continue to build your own confidence and self-esteem. The other thing that I really liked as well was mastering the art of human connection. So when people meet you, who are you and why are you? Secondly, so relationships are built and maintained on trust. So, as I said, jason, I've taken a heap of notes.

Speaker 1: 43:30

I look forward to continue following along and learning from you as well, mate, and I hope our audience has got just as much value. Guys, all the show notes will be below with all of Jason's links to his TED Talk, his books, his Instagram page, so it's easy access just to click it. But, jason, thank you so much for joining us.

Speaker 2: 43:48

Lockie, thank you so much. I really enjoyed this conversation, so thanks again.