Ever felt like life's a relentless draft, where only the best get picked? That's the adrenaline-fueled world of the NFL draft, a world that teaches us lessons about striving for personal excellence. Join me as we uncover the stark realities of this intense grading system, which mirrors life's natural pecking order. We'll explore why embracing this competitive spirit can catapult us forward in our own lives. With a personal touch, I'll share how my own encounters with failure led to necessary growth, and we'll discuss the importance of qualities scouts seek in players beyond talent—qualities like work ethic and team fit, which undeniably influence our journey to becoming the high-performing individuals we strive to be.
Hear the tale of David, a tech leader juggling career pressures and family commitments, and discover proactive steps we can all take to confront life's quandaries. This episode isn't just about football; it's a playbook for life, showing us how to tackle challenges and evolve into our best selves. Get inspired by those who've walked the path before us, like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, who channeled his NFL dreams into a different kind of success. Tune in and prepare to level up, because this discussion is about more than just the game—it's about transforming hard work into a legacy.
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Learn How To Discover Who You Really Are, What You Want From Life & Where Your Fit In.
Ever felt like life's a relentless draft, where only the best get picked? That's the adrenaline-fueled world of the NFL draft, a world that teaches us lessons about striving for personal excellence. Join me as we uncover the stark realities of this intense grading system, which mirrors life's natural pecking order. We'll explore why embracing this competitive spirit can catapult us forward in our own lives. With a personal touch, I'll share how my own encounters with failure led to necessary growth, and we'll discuss the importance of qualities scouts seek in players beyond talent—qualities like work ethic and team fit, which undeniably influence our journey to becoming the high-performing individuals we strive to be.
Hear the tale of David, a tech leader juggling career pressures and family commitments, and discover proactive steps we can all take to confront life's quandaries. This episode isn't just about football; it's a playbook for life, showing us how to tackle challenges and evolve into our best selves. Get inspired by those who've walked the path before us, like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, who channeled his NFL dreams into a different kind of success. Tune in and prepare to level up, because this discussion is about more than just the game—it's about transforming hard work into a legacy.
Trouble sleeping? Recover Rite's mouth tape and nose strips improve your sleep by optimising your breathing. Perfect for anyone seeking a restful night.
Learn How To Discover Who You Really Are, What You Want From Life & Where Your Fit In.
Being judged will make you a better man. This episode is going to be about my learnings from the NFL draft and I'm extremely pumped about this. I just finished golf, so it's an epic way to start the day, and then we're about to hit a road trip to South Carolina, so I've not seen Amy, my wife, for two weeks. She's been back in Australia, so Liam and I have been batching over here in the US and Liam's my brother-in-law and Amy is flying into South Carolina. They have a festival on this weekend, so Liam and I have an eight-hour road trip after this to get there. So super pumped to get over there and see Amy, but also very excited to do this episode because I learned so much from the NFL draft around being a better man and the way that the people are selected, they're graded, what they're judged on and how it can help you be a better man and a high performing man. So buckle up for this one. If you're driving, I know you're going to take so much out of it and I would recommend, if you ask anybody yourself, to take some notes. I do have some punchy one-liners here so you will be able to remember it, and the weekly newsletter has all of this written down as well. So make sure you are subscribed to the newsletter. You can head to my website, themanthatcanprojectcom and you can subscribe there and you can look through the archive as well. If you do get some value from this, so let's dive into it.
Speaker 1:
So the draft was amazing. Since I've been in America, I've really dived into the sports, just to one. I want to meet people. I want to learn and enjoy the culture why I'm here? Because it's so different to back home in Australia and the draft was fascinating. A select few had their lives changed forever and so many others went home empty-handed. Right For context, there was 257 people drafted, right, young men drafted and there were around 3,000 people who entered the draft. That's pretty wild, right? So of those 3,000, there were probably thousands of others who didn't even enter the draft. They just played their college ball and moved on to the next phase of their life. So it shows how there is always going to be a hierarchy, and that was a huge lesson for me, because we're going through this interesting time in life where everyone feels like life is an equal playing field and the truth is it's not. And the sooner we can accept that, the sooner. We can then move forward to create a life that we want to live.
Speaker 1:
And I know you're listening to this podcast and you've been supporting it for years because you have similar beliefs to me. Okay, so I want to dive into what it's taught me and let's give you some context and let's agree upon the fact that high performing, for how I talk about it in this episode, means doing everything to the best of your ability. Okay, that is it. And obviously, when you reach the best of your ability, you will continue to grow and compound on that. So it is within our control.
Speaker 1:
Unlike the results of a draft, there's so many variables, and that's what were some of the big key learnings that I'm going to dive into here. So, as well, there's some of you maybe thinking what I was thinking. There's plenty of successful men out there who I wouldn't say would be high performing. Right, they've had luck on their side, they've had politics on their side, but we can't control that, so we don't focus on it. Remember, the definition of high performing is to the best of their ability.
Speaker 1:
It brings that quote to mind hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard. That works for the draft and in life, and I want you to think about that. I want that to just sink in for a moment. There's been so many things in my life that I have worked towards. Where I haven't been the most talented and I would say that with rugby I was not very talented at all, but I had a desire to want to do well. I believed it would make me successful. I believed it would help me stop being bullied. So I worked hard and I beat a lot of the talented people because they weren't working as hard, and I'm sure you have moments in your life where you can think about that, or there's things that you want in your life that you really want that. If you just adopted the mindset of how do I work hard, meaning, how do I perform to the best of my ability and continue to grow in these areas, what are the one percenters that my competition aren't doing? That I could build upon and get better results. They're the things that you need to be thinking, and I tweeted this out.
Speaker 1:
Nfl scouts are observing players, so all year they have their region and they'll fly around and they'll start making notes on players. They'll look at their skill, they'll look at their medical history, they'll look at how they communicate, they'll check out their attitude. They'll check out their speed, power, explosiveness, their work ethic and how they fit into a team. So there's so many things that they look at, but essentially they're being judged. People hate to be judged. We fear judged and we almost think it's wrong.
Speaker 1:
It is so important to judge from the right perspective. People get upset when we judge others, but it's important for obvious reasons, as you're maybe starting to realize. Whether it's picking your life partner, whether it's picking your career, whether it's picking the hobbies that you want to have, you need to make judgment, because some people do things that you won't agree with, and if you chose not to judge and hang out with them, then you're probably going to start doing things that you don't agree with. So it doesn't always matter how or whether you're the most talented. You need to be able to add value to the entire organization and give it the best chance of winning the Super Bowl, and that's in the draft context. So the players are aware of this, the staff member are aware of this and the fans are sure as shit aware of this.
Speaker 1:
We went to the draft party down here at Nissan Stadium and the Tennessee Titans which I'm living in Tennessee were pick seven, and you saw all the first six people get picked and who the Titans picked, and I can't remember off the top of my head who it was. But the fans the loyal fans who were at the stadium where we were, were not impressed with it. Everyone was like no, that's not what we need. And so you will always be judged. But what some people don't think about is what is best for the organization, or what is best for the relationship, or what is best for you. And this is where judgment becomes very powerful, right. And those who really want to, I guess, move into a certain area, they are aware that they are being judged. Right.
Speaker 1:
I knew that when I met Amy, she was going to judge me. Is this a man that I would spend the rest of my life with? At the time she saw something in me, but I didn't see that in myself. But because I knew that the judgment was there and I had to be better in order for our relationship to last and to, I guess, be life partners, I wasn't going to leave it up to chance. I judged myself. I thought about things that I had control over, right, things like my attitude, my work ethic, my physical appearance, my personal standards, how I communicated, the skills that I had, my relationships that I kept, the company that I kept. I had control over all of that, and you do as well.
Speaker 1:
So when you're thinking about, if people judge you on those specific things, what is the highest performing version of yourself showing up as their? What's your attitude, what's your physical appearance like? So start thinking about that. You may not like it that you're judged on that, but welcome to the real fucking world. People want to be around people that are inspiring them and are making their life better. So if you aren't doing that, once again, it may not be personal, and most of the time it's not. It's just a redirection.
Speaker 1:
Think about this for yourself. You have probably had a job that you just didn't like. You may have judged this how the manager ran the operation. You may have judged how you were spoken to. You may have judged the standards that they had, but you either agreed with them or you disagreed. And that's you judging based off what you expect, okay, based on where you want to fit in. And so if it's okay for you to do that, why is it not okay for other people to do that.
Speaker 1:
If we're just trying to live our best life, if we're just trying to build our best business or have the most loving relationship or friendship or have wild adventures, it's important to judge that because that's the feedback. And if you really care about your future and this is what I love talking about I talk about it so much within our academy but you'll use this to your advantage Knowing that you're going to be judged, you can focus on allowing for better judgment in the areas Like what do you want to be, what can you control and how are you going to show up. So I really want you to think about that. What are the things that you can control that are going to influence for better judgment in your life? And it becomes so much easier when you know what you want from your life right, and when you're very clear on what you want.
Speaker 1:
And this is why we talk about vision a lot in the self-discovery program and I think you know creating a vision is the most important part of any planning. You know, ultimately it's just the long-term thinking when do you want to be in five years' time? Where do you want to be in 10 years' time? Because you can then work back. You can then take into account the relationship aspects of your life, the leisure and recreation you can think about how your health needs to be, what about your finances, and when you have a plan to do that, an idea of what that looks like, you can start setting goals and creating a plan which allows you to do that. So it's really fun to be able to work back, and Jim Rohn has an awesome quote If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan and guess what they've got planned for you? Not much, unfortunately.
Speaker 1:
Most people spend most of their time complaining about this. We don't like it, and I feel personally that that comes from the fact or even the sense of not being in control of our life, when, ultimately, all of us have control over our life. Everyone's situation is different and unique, and you may have more dependence and variables that make it more challenging. However, up until that point, all the decisions have been off the back of you, and so it can be very uncomfortable to recognize that. I know it was very uncomfortable for me back in 2013 to hear or recognize that everything that I've gotten to this point is because of me. I didn't like what I had at that point in my life. I was broke, I had terrible relationships and I wasn't happy with myself, and that was because of me. The best thing that happened from that was once I said okay, if that's because of me, it also means that I can get myself out of here by doing things differently.
Speaker 1:
I believe we all have unique interests, right, we have different likes, we have different dislikes. We have different desired outcomes, ideas of success, beliefs, people that we want to spend our time with, and because of this, it would be safe to assume that people would have opposing views to us, meaning you could butt heads with people, you could disagree with people, but it's how you choose to respond or react that matters most. How do you show up in those areas? I'm interested in endurance sports, I love exploring the outdoors and I hate going bloody shopping, whether it's for groceries or just clothes, I'm just not a fan. Find me on Amazon, buy it, deliver it to the house. That's what I like and that's okay that I have those likes and dislikes, just like it's okay that you have your unique likes and dislikes and interests and desires. That's what makes you unique. So stop taking it personally when someone is different or they don't accept you for you and move on, because it is just a redirection, that's all it is. It doesn't need to be anything more personal than that.
Speaker 1:
So many of us really get stuck in life because we're like, oh, you know, something's wrong with me and I feel you, man, I was like that for ages. I felt for years that I didn't fit in. But the problem was I was trying to fit in. I was not being my authentic self, and the difference in that is when people are trying to fit in, you know, you might be trying to fit into a specific crowd or role or relationship. It means you're not being authentic, you're shying away from parts of yourself. You know.
Speaker 1:
Let's say, for example, someone in here has listened to this and they go. I want to hang out with Lockie, I really like what he talks about and you hate endurance sports. You might not like that, but you go. I'm going to pretend to like endurance sports because I want to fit in with that crowd. Now, two things could happen from that. One, you may end up loving endurance sports and we could become best buddies awesome. Or secondly, you just go. Man, this is not a fulfilling relationship. I don't like going and exploring the outdoors, I don't like always doing the endurance sports stuff, and that is completely okay too. What you can learn from that is hey, that's not one of your interests. What are you interested in and where are those people hanging out? And I've got to tie this back into, obviously, the football. I've gone off on a bit of a tangent, but this is really. We'll tie this back in.
Speaker 1:
So for me personally, after I was faced with the harsh truth and a few significant failures in my life, I knew that I needed improvement if I wanted a better life. You may be in that position right now. It was hard to face the music, to hear that I had treated people poorly, I was a liar and I never followed through on things. I always changed whenever it got hard. And I had two choices I could keep blaming everyone else or I could get better. And I was at the point in my life where I was ready to get better. And I'm asking you this question Are you ready to get better? And I'm asking you this question are you ready to get better?
Speaker 1:
I set the goal to make a million dollars and I started doing what I needed to do to achieve that. It highlighted areas that I guess needed the most improvement so I could achieve the goal. I had to learn sales right. I had to learn to sell myself, to sell people into my vision. That's hard. I had to read books, listen to podcasts, make cold calls, but that was part of learning. I had to learn marketing how to inspire people to create change. It's the reason why some of you may have come to the podcast, and it's probably one of the skills that I need the most help with, if I'm being honest, one of the skills that I need the most help with, if I'm being honest.
Speaker 1:
I had to improve my communication. It's why I started a podcast to learn to share my ideas, to be challenged, to learn about people, ask better questions, and I had to finally learn emotional regulation. I felt threatened all the time, I was insecure and I was jealous and I didn't like seeing other people succeed when I was such a failure. So I had to learn to regulate my emotions. So as they rose up, I had to see them for what they were and I said look, emotions are normal. It's okay to feel sad, it's okay to be jealous, it's okay to be pissed off, but how would the highest performing version of myself respond?
Speaker 1:
And the NFL players have to learn these things as well, because if you're signing an NFL contract, you're selling yourself to a team, you're marketing your values and, I guess, your morals and your ethics. You're communicating. You have to fit in well with a new team. You have to fit in with the fans and communicate who you are as an individual and the emotional regulation of in and out. Each week. It's like you go from being a stud at college, right A starter, and then you may not start directly in the NFL and that can be hard to deal with because you go from being at the top to being at the bottom of the pecking order, regardless of when you get taken in the draft.
Speaker 1:
Okay, so I had to learn a lot more skills apart from that. That was just the examples that I'd written down here, but nothing came easy to me. I had this belief that I wasn't smart, I didn't excel at school and I really struggled to learn. But over time, as I started learning things that interest me and I could see how they were applied in my life, that belief shifted. I was like man, I'm actually quite intelligent. When I'm interested in something. It becomes so much easier to learn when you're interested in something. So find the things that you're interested in, try and make sense of how they can fit into your life or how they can be applied, and it becomes fun. I feared making wrong decisions, as I'm sure you have as well. I want to give you an example, and an example that I wrote down here.
Speaker 1:
So David, 42, leads a department at a tech company and he has two young children. He fears that his demanding job, which often requires late nights and weekends, will make him miss irreplaceable moments in his children's lives, such as school plays and sport matches. This fear is intensified by memories of his own father's frequent absence due to work. So he's sitting here and he's torn between the role as a provider and his desire to be a present parent. There are only two options. Option one he could explore flexible work arrangements with his employer, such as working from home on certain days or delegating tasks to team members, allowing him to attend important family events without compromising his professional responsibilities. Two he does nothing and builds resentment towards his career.
Speaker 1:
How would you respond? One's proactive, one's reactive? His career how would you respond? One's proactive, one's reactive? So let's say you commit to learning and growing as a man. What happens if, like the 2,750 or 2,750 other draft applicants, you didn't get selected by a team right, you didn't get selected in your dream job, you didn't get selected by your dream chick? What do you do? How do you respond? This is the reality that more people are faced with, so you better be ready for it. It's going to happen at some point.
Speaker 1:
Think about Dwayne the Rock Johnson, for example. Right, I'm just going to brush over this story really quickly, but he spent much of his younger years with the desire to play in the NFL, only to fail at the final hurdle. He didn't give up on life, though. He pivoted. He used the things that he'd learned while trying to go pro to allow him to be a high performer, one as a wrestler and now as an actor. He's seriously one of the most recognizable people on the planet planet. So if you focus on who you're becoming, these skills become transferable. There is no wasted time, so I want to share the three things that I learned from the draft. I know it took a little while to get here, but that are going to help me with life and shift perspective, and I wanted to share that with you, number one.
Speaker 1:
Everyone has a different number one. You know how people say like you're my number one to their partner, or or that's my number one job that I want, or I want to be the number one runner, or whatever it may be. The thing is, scouts are not only looking for the best players, right, but they want players who are going to fill the holes in the team. So no team is the same. Some have stronger offenses, others have stronger defenses, but the goal is to build upon the weakling to give them the best shot of winning the Super Bowl. So if we viewed life like this, I feel less people would get offended, because not everything is personal. Businesses are just trying to get the right people for their culture and for the growth that they're looking for. People who are dating are looking for the right life partner. It's not personal, it's just everyone has different needs.
Speaker 1:
So you may want something, but the timing may not be right, or you just may not be what that someone or that something is looking for. So do you give up on life or do you pivot? The key is being your number one, knowing your worth, so that you don't settle and you don't take it personally. The whole reason why this self-discovery course is available? Because it helps you become your number one. It helps you discover more about who you are, what you want from life, where you fit in, what your worth is, so that moments like this don't impact you. Like some of these people from the draft both those who got selected and both those who didn't get selected will have a great sense of self. They will not be defined by where they were picked or whether they weren't picked, and others, regardless of whether they were picked or they weren't, it will define them for the rest of their life.
Speaker 1:
Number two high performers focus on every detail. Details matter. This year's first draft pick, caleb Williams, had the goal to be the number one draft pick since he was 12 years old. At 12 years old, I'm 33. Now. That's 21 years ago. Obviously, he's not 33, but that's like me having that goal 21 years ago. He has said how he was focused on achieving that every day since he was 12.
Speaker 1:
The moment one game finished or one season finished, he started preparing for the next, and when you have a vision of where you want your life to be, you know that long-term thinking. When you finish and achieve one goal, you're on to the next, because you're building, brick by brick towards the life that you want and you're becoming a different person along the way. You're, I guess, adopting more responsibilities on the way, whether it's staff members, whether it's children, whether it's a mortgage right, you're adopting those things, but you're becoming the person you need to be to handle that right. Those high performance standards have made Caleb Williams $38 million richer. That's what he got paid for this draft pick. Pretty juicy. We can use this for life. So when one training session finishes, one date night finishes, or one day at work is finished, start preparing for the next. That's how you can get ahead of most people.
Speaker 1:
How can you make it better? What did you enjoy about your last experience? It doesn't take too much time, but it will amplify your results. How can you make it better? What did you enjoy about your last experience? It doesn't take too much time, but it will amplify your results. Third, the skills and standards are transferable. You don't get drafted. So now what? Some players let it define their life. As I was just saying, the true high performers know that it's just a redirection. They aren't defined by football. It was a goal, it was a season of life. Some will continue to pursue it through other routes, like the NFL they will and others will just move on to that next season. They'll move into it happily, so what they learned from being in the elite environment will serve them in the next step.
Speaker 1:
Your standards are the expectations and criteria that you set for yourself in behavior and in achievement. Standards are extremely important and it's something that's getting added into the self-discovery program, because I've really been thinking about why my results are different to people and I guess the standards that I set for my clients and it's something that a lot of people don't think about. So things like how you deal with pressure, overcoming adversity, working in a team they're all extremely valuable skill, hugely valuable skills, actually, even personal branding in today's world. This is a huge reason why you shouldn't hold yourself back. You're just getting started. Results aren't guaranteed, but accumulating those high performance habits, the skills, the mindset and the network often pay off in the long run. So my idea is this Regardless of what you want to achieve in your life, you got to have a life's vision.
Speaker 1:
As I was saying, this helps you set goals, helps you develop your personal standards right and gives you purpose, and it is what we teach in the self-discovery program. This allows you to get up every day with the goal to be 1% better right, very achievable being 1% better. Your results aren't guaranteed. There are way too many variables in life. I know you will become an incredible man if you focus on building these high-performance habits. It doesn't need to be complicated, it just needs to be consistent.
Speaker 1:
Life is tough. You're going to be judged and you need to focus on the judgment that's going to make you better, right? So choose people whose judgment matters, whose, I guess, the weight of what they tell you or what they say to you matters, because there's a lot of people, right, they say opinions are like assholes Everyone's got one. So if that's the case, select important people in your life who you value their judgment. So thank you, guys for tuning in this week. If you got value from this, please share this on your socials. Every time you share it, it helps me get this in front of more men who need it, who can value from their life. And if you feel like you're ready for the next step, you're ready to take action.
Speaker 1:
Check out the Self-Discovery Program. I'm going to workshop that name. I'm not happy with that name, but it's there. It's $47. As someone who's listened the whole way through, there is a 15% off discount code for you. Type in where it says code TMTCP15 and you'll get 15% off to that, so that'll make it cheap as chips, right, very affordable for everyone. But it's a great start for you to begin this journey on getting clear on some important things. That is going to help you build on life's work and improve that long-term thinking. I look forward to sharing next week's podcast with you. It's going to be with Ryan Drake, so make sure you hang around for Monday's episode. Thank you, guys for being here.