Lessons from our 10 year relationship | Amy Sheppard #556

Embarking on a nine-year odyssey of love and partnership, Amy and I pull back the curtain on the real work that goes into a lasting relationship. Our living room transforms into a confessional as we chat about the strategies that have kept our bond strong amid life's rollercoaster—complete with insights from completing a monumental 30 marathons in 30 days. Find out how we navigate the complexities of communication, respect, and managing the tough talks that are the unsung heroes of a thriving partnership.

Celebrity or not, everyone craves that grounded connection where they're seen for who they truly are. We get real about how success can skew perceptions and the art of staying anchored when your world is spinning. From the seismic shifts following the hit "Geronimo" to the nuances of overcoming jealousy and building trust, we don't shy away from the messy, intricate dance of growing together. Join us as we lay bare the journey toward a secure and valued relationship, leaving toxic patterns in the dust to embrace a love built on mutual respect and understanding.

But what's love without laughter and those small, miraculous moments that make up the fabric of a shared life? Remembering our first dance, savoring morning coffees, and those city walks that turn ordinary days into cherished memories, we celebrate the little things that make a big difference. And as we ponder the athletic endeavors of our future offspring and the upcoming Patreon project that marries body positivity with the twangs of country music, it's clear—no matter the paths we tread, it's the steps we take together that truly count.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:51

Today's guest is my lovely wife. Off the back of the last couple of podcast episodes around long distance relationships, tips to make stronger relationships, also how to receive feedback I thought why not get the wife back on itself? First podcast is husband and wife. We've done a couple previously, but in this conversation, amy's currently over in LA at the moment, so I haven't seen each other for three or four weeks and I'll probably I'm flying over in a week or so but we spoke about what we feel has made our relationship stand. You know, heading into our ninth year, learning how to communicate effectively, learning how to show respect and value each other, but also how to have tough conversations and a whole other range of things that have worked really well for our relationship. So, if you're in a relationship, if you're looking for, I guess, what's worked well for us and not saying that we've got all the keys, because we definitely don't but if you feel you could learn something, this is going to be a cracking episode for you and I'm actually really proud. Obviously, amy's come off a whole day of songwriting in LA, so to have the energy and be able to, she dropped so many bombs. I was like, wow, this is awesome. I can't wait to share this with with the Manic Can community, so you're going to get a heap of value now If you're tuning in for the first time. Welcome, it's so awesome to have you here and thank you for investing your time. We definitely always try to get the best guests on and also deliver valuable information and long form content to help you better improve areas of your life so you can really reach your potential. And if you return it back, well, awesome, great to still have you guys here.

Speaker 1: 2:30

I have just finished my 30 marathons in 30 days, which is an unofficial world record. I'm just waiting to hear back from Guinness World Record, which is awesome. It's been cool to have seen how many other men and women completed marathons and just also the experiences or the lessons that I had from that experience, and I've started recording a podcast with Wes. He's actually interviewing me, so I'm looking forward to getting that out the next couple of weeks, once I've had a bit more time to rest and reflect and really make sure I share the most powerful points from that experience. But something that I'm definitely proud of, and also, this is my first day not rowing, so pretty pumped about that. But enough from me. Let's dive into today's episode and remember if you do get value, please share it. Please take the time to leave a review, because you're helping the people in your communities gain value as well.

Speaker 2: 3:23

The man Let Cam Project podcast, a podcast in powering rear driven men to live more fulfilling lives. We are here to challenge your beliefs, redefine success and talk about the important stuff in a relatable way. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. My name's Lockies Stuart. Let's get into it.

Speaker 3: 3:46

Guess who's back.

Speaker 1: 3:47

Welcome back. Welcome to exercise. I was going to say exercise because I've been doing so much of it. Welcome to and you were. You were about to steal my intro.

Speaker 3: 3:59

Amy's back to the friend.

Speaker 1: 4:02

This is your third time on the man Let Cam Project podcast. Welcome everyone who's tuning in for episode 396. Wow, we've this is the first time you've been on the show as my wife, though Previously you were just my partner. Yeah, my girlfriend.

Speaker 3: 4:20

Yeah, but we said partner because it's just more official than girlfriend, isn't it?

Speaker 1: 4:25

Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 3: 4:26

I've been promoted, so they've been promoted.

Speaker 1: 4:32

And it took me eight years or whatever it took. But, aship, you're over in LA at the moment. I'm sitting here in Brisbane. It's funny, we're both on the same time zone. They, even though you're across the world asleep. So it's because you love staying up late and getting up late, whereas I get up early.

Speaker 3: 4:53

Yeah, it's 940 PM.

Speaker 1: 4:58

So why you pass my bedtime?

Speaker 3: 5:01

So that makes it three for you 239.

Speaker 1: 5:08

Yeah, it's worked out well Now that the rows have finished. Up until the rows had finished, it was quite irritating because as I was about to start my rows, you'd just finished work for the day, so it was sort of your downtime, but then I was done for the next couple of hours, so it was hard to chat.

Speaker 3: 5:24

And then, obviously, when you're waking up, Unless I stayed up super late into like 1am 2am, we didn't really get to chat.

Speaker 1: 5:33

Which you enjoy doing, though. Anyway, good excuse for you to stay up and scroll Reddit and do various other things.

Speaker 3: 5:45

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 5:46

The purpose of this podcast today is for the gentleman out there who the last couple of episodes I've done around long distance relationships. Obviously, at the moment you're overseas, I'm not, so there's a bit of distance between us, but also for the beginning of our relationship, there was your traveling and touring a lot, so we pretty much classified ourselves as a long distance relationship and we started out with was it Snapchat or Viaba, where you could video call, which was pretty fun.

Speaker 3: 6:18

Oh my gosh, I forgot about.

Speaker 1: 6:19

Viaba, remember that one.

Speaker 3: 6:20

Yeah, it was Snapchat, but it was back when I don't know, I hadn't used Snapchat in years, like since then. But you had to hold it because there was no such thing as FaceTime, there was like no Skype, so it was like all about Snapchatting each other. But then they bought in the live video but you had to hold it down and we would hold it for hours in chat. And if you were to go.

Speaker 1: 6:42

I would get so sore.

Speaker 3: 6:44

Sometimes you'd accidentally let it slip and you'd be like, oh, you'd get disconnected and you'd get back on Sorry For all the young people, you've got it so easy.

Speaker 1: 6:54

now All you do is push a video call button and it's satisfied.

Speaker 1: 6:58

But then, I've also had an episode which I did with Sean last week on how to not get defensive with feedback and obviously within relationships it's important from time to time to give and receive feedback within the relationship. That was a really well received episode and the one before that was how to build a stronger relationship, and I think it's something that we can probably dive into a little bit today really, which would be fun. But there was someone posted through a question. I'm really confused whether it was directed at me or for you. It was what's it like dating someone famous? And obviously I've been on the radio a fair bit in the last 24 hours, so I assume that's for you.

Speaker 3: 7:38

Who's the celebrity now.

Speaker 1: 7:41

Yeah. I think, it's for you and, obviously, what's it like being married to someone famous? I can't remember whether we answered this question last time you were on the show.

Speaker 3: 7:51

Well, let's answer it again. Maybe I'll answer it different.

Speaker 1: 7:55

Yeah, All right. Well, for me it's really weird, because I don't even think that you're famous. I've never really obviously you are, but in my eyes you're still. You know the girl at home that I know, which is. You know, I get to see you 24, seven usually. So I think people have a pretty conceived idea of Of you based on what they see in the media, based on what they see in social media and all that sort of stuff, Whereas I don't really pay attention to all that sort of stuff.

Speaker 3: 8:31

I get to so funny because I Guess I could probably relate to that what you're saying, because when We've been in a fortunate position to be able to have met a lot of famous people, and when you meet them it's like I Don't know, just they're not famous anymore.

Speaker 1: 8:50

There's people.

Speaker 3: 8:52

That fan girly like moment I don't know. Yeah, you, for me, when I meet the person, even if I'm like the biggest fan, it's just like, yeah, well, that that kind of All fades away and that excitement fades away and you're like, oh, like they're legit. Just a person.

Speaker 2: 9:09

Yeah, exactly, and you weren't I guess.

Speaker 1: 9:13

Fame, famous. When I first met you, that's what I came after. Fame, famous, now you didn't, you didn't have a super global song.

Speaker 3: 9:23

Yeah, we met, I had written, we had written drama and I knew something exciting was coming our way. But I think we had really slept me down easy and it like some people knew it, some people didn't and I think it was like two or three weeks before he released your on a mow that we started hanging out.

Speaker 1: 10:46

No, it was a bit more than that. How can you not remember this timeline of?

Speaker 3: 10:50

our relationship. We had written Geronimo.

Speaker 1: 10:55

Yeah, you had written drone. Well, you wrote, drawn a mobile phone.

Speaker 3: 10:59

We hadn't really stood up.

Speaker 1: 11:00

What do you feel All right. So what do you feel helped us Sustain our relationship through that period, when Geronimo took off and you were traveling in All around the world, etc. And I was still building houses in to oomba? What do you think enabled us to get through that challenging time?

Speaker 3: 11:20

It's a good question, but I think it was Snapchat.

Speaker 1: 11:27

So if you're not on snapchat, get on snapchat. I think whether boils down to those probably Communication the fact that we made the time, of course to chat daily, even though we weren't necessarily there and we spoke as you said. We spoke for fucking hours, to the point where I had a sore thumb and I'm gonna have our eyes.

Speaker 3: 11:45

I just really appreciated having a bit of normalcy and a bit of like I don't know if someone to talk to the end of the day, someone who I knew didn't really care about all that other stuff. You know, it was such a weird time in my life for people who I just, you know, hadn't heard from since school. I hadn't heard from since I was in primary school. We're like reaching out, wanting to hang out, all that crap. So it was just nice to like have someone to talk to every day and not Someone who, like, really sees who you are is important to have.

Speaker 1: 12:25

And I think even from from my perspective, like I was still I hadn't, I guess, really been oh, I hadn't even started my Growth journey, really, essentially, where I'd started reading books and wanted to sort of better myself. So I know, at the beginning there was a lot of insecurities on my end and Even jealousy, like I still remember one day when I was like Amy's gonna drop my ass, I'm gonna be kicked back to twomba because I'm insignificant, she's gonna be meeting all these famous people and you know people are gonna be throwing themselves at at you, and I think that was a A challenging time for me and I think it's definitely something a lot of men can Relate to. Is that that jealousy and insecurity?

Speaker 2: 13:11

and I.

Speaker 3: 13:13

Was just probably feeling the same emotions, being like, no, seeing if you would go out, I'd be like who you were, like what time did you get home? And you know, because you're feeling this exact same emotion. So it's funny how you just got to let not let that get the better of you, and we definitely had our moments where it did probably get the better of us on separate occasions. But you know, what do you reckon?

Speaker 1: 13:36

helped, like helped you from that aspect was there I did or, I know it sounds weird.

Speaker 3: 13:44

I think, just like me really pushing the boundaries of like I don't know, like, well, just knowing that at the end of the day, you would always be there and like I did, some you know wild things acted like a crazy person, but you were always like there at the end of the day, you like we're still okay. Well, just, I guess, coming from other relationships and realizing that maybe you're not such a safe Relationship, maybe you're in toxic relationship and you really aren't Feeling secure, and then you bring those into your new relationships, all of those emotions, into your new relationships as well. And, you know, I think it takes a while to actually realize that, oh, like, I'm actually with the right person and yeah, locky went out, nothing happened, like or like yeah, in the beginning of the relationship, you check each other's phones or All of that crap.

Speaker 1: 14:43

I never checked your phone.

Speaker 3: 14:45

Just.

Speaker 1: 14:47

Lie.

Speaker 3: 14:50

Kidding, I did. But then you realize that it's like okay, like this person is actually legit and it's safe, and that's when you can kind of you start to let go of those insecurities.

Speaker 1: 15:01

Yeah, you can start to actually, yeah, really cement the relationship and I think that comes. What was that?

Speaker 3: 15:09

and you don't know in the beginning, you don't know and you can't really it might all fail and it is scary. But yeah, you've just got to kind of go along for the ride and Do your best to control your emotions and Hope that the other person on the other end is the person that you Hope and think and then if they're not Like yeah. If you don't feel like they're they are, then just yeah. I would recommend not wasting any more time, because if it's, if they're toxic, you're gonna know about it.

Speaker 1: 15:43

Definitely, and I think it's about feeling valued and heard, and I think we all carry baggage Into the relationship, so it's not just like just drop it and forget it, but it's, I guess, collectively, as a relationship or as a couple, learn into, work through that. And I think when you start out in a relationship, it's easy to turn a blind eye to certain things. You know, obviously you kicked me out of a cabin in Thailand when I was drunk and being an absolute wanker, and that was probably a good no. I knew I had a, an issue with alcohol and that was probably one of the defining moments in my life as to why I stopped Drinking a lot, because you know you can really Fuck things up with with that and that's not how I wanted to be. But it's also you gave me the opportunity to, I guess, improve. And obviously it's not just saying I'll be better, which a lot of people do. It's like I actually Back to that up and I don't just even still now, eight years later, I don't Drink a hole here because I don't want to put myself in that situation, not saying I ever would again, but it's also just, if you don't want to be in that situation, why play with fire, you know, if you don't want to get burnt. So I think it's it's definitely important to do that, but then obviously, once that honeymoon period wears off, you know, it's then starting to get clear on what the relationship Dynamics look like and learning to really trust. And I think, as you were saying before, when you it's like you hope that person is who you think they are, a lot of people hold back and they go and reserve because they have been burnt in the past or whatever experiences they've had and they don't actually ever get to fully Give themselves to that relationship. So, even if it does fall apart, you know, I told yourself, but it's like we never really gave it the best shot anyway. So you almost got a, if you want, I guess, that incredible relationship.

Speaker 1: 17:34

And I was talking to Benny about this the other night because he's like how do you, how did you know?

Speaker 1: 17:38

Like Amy was the one like that one.

Speaker 1: 17:42

And I'm like, well, at the beginning it's like you're obviously smitten by each other and everything like that, but then it's, you know, as I, I always started to work out who I was and what I wanted in my life, the things that I thought I wanted a partying and all that sort of stuff wasn't important to me and I Think you're very supportive with me in the lifestyle, like you know, a bit more health focused and Caring and all of these sorts of things that maybe in the beginning I didn't really care about, I didn't think I needed because I was a tough, tough bloke.

Speaker 1: 18:15

So I think when I got Clearer, more clear on what I actually wanted and what a good life would look like for me and what a good relationship Was not a toxic one, because I've been in and you know I was the main culprit in toxic relationships in the past Due to insecurities, jealousies etc. I didn't want to bring any of that into this sort of one, which obviously also, I'm sure, helped with your you know whether it was, as you said, things that you needed to trust in me to make sure that I wasn't like previous partners and stuff like that.

Speaker 3: 18:52

I think we just like met at the right time as well in terms of Ready to for a mature relationship, and I think that helps as well.

Speaker 1: 19:03

You're willing to go the extra mile to make it work as well After, and it's not like I don't annoy you now I definitely do and sometimes I go out of my way to do it. But I think one of the one of the important things as well as and we don't actually fight like I was saying that to Ben the other day, I was like we literally don't have those screaming fucking fights. It Maybe you see on movies and stuff and I you know I have clients that talk about that and I'm like I just don't understand. I don't get me wrong. I've done that with previous partners Because I didn't understand how to control my emotions. But now it's like why would I don't get me wrong? I do sometimes be a dick, 100%, but I don't flip off, or there's probably can count on a hand the amount of times that I have and I think a lot of that comes.

Speaker 3: 19:59

You see it a lot in relationships with. They fight and it's like awkward if you're there at the time and in the middle of it. Yeah, I think we've really Come to learn how to communicate properly With each other and say things how it is and then or just talk about it before it escalates. I think that really helps as well. Just like, hey, that wasn't cool, I didn't like that. And then the other person Would actually and obviously it doesn't sound like that.

Speaker 1: 20:32

Sometimes we do get not like. It's just like in the hidden emotion there might be tears or whatever want to say.

Speaker 3: 20:39

Yeah, yeah, just yeah, pretty much like don't be a dickhead, and then Actually taking that on board and making a change, rather than getting defensive and arcing up back. You know, I think that really helps. It's to like actually I acknowledge when you're wrong as well, take it on which I never am, so I haven't had to do that yet.

Speaker 2: 21:04

No, I'm wrong quite often, but definitely.

Speaker 1: 21:07

I think.

Speaker 3: 21:09

And then moving on as well.

Speaker 1: 21:12

Yeah, learning to actually let it rest. I know there's so many people who, for example, if they make a mistake, like, okay, well, have we agreed to let this sort of settle and move forward. People will bring it up in six months time or nine months.

Speaker 3: 21:25

I'm like well, Old issues into new fights just means it's unresolved from my time. So I think we really do try and resolve things there and then.

Speaker 1: 21:36

Exactly.

Speaker 3: 21:38

I More.

Speaker 1: 21:40

I definitely agree. I was trying to Think about, like from a communication standpoint, like there are often, you know, sometimes conversations that you have to have that, a, that, a challenge, and sometimes uncomfortable, but you know, I guess, whether you do it in what way works best for you, or even, hey, your partner it chooses to best, I guess Receive feedback because you and I both obviously very busy. When I say busy, I mean we've got a lot of stuff happening.

Speaker 1: 22:14

So trying to make the time to actually we're not even trying, just making sure we invest the time together and all our needs are met and we're prioritizing the relationship, because it can be very easy to Get phone call after phone call, email after email, and obviously we're both heavy on social media as well, so it's like you're constantly checking things going on there and it's you know, it's, it's a trap, but it's also, then, the importance of actually prioritizing what you want from the relationship date nights, time without phones, time with other you know, our friends and everything like that as well.

Speaker 3: 22:54

Yeah, I think I would agree with that.

Speaker 1: 22:56

I was hoping you were gonna help me leapfrog that, that part of the conversation.

Speaker 3: 23:02

But I think you just summed it up really nicely just making the time and Making the time and, yeah, committing to that time as well it's, it is easy to pick up the phone. I know you tell me off for it all the time and vice versa. I'm yeah, we try and have Dinner together. I think that's like a really important thing for us is to like have that.

Speaker 1: 23:26

Dinner time.

Speaker 3: 23:28

Yeah, we just don't have phones. Nobody else is there, it's just us.

Speaker 1: 23:33

You can't tell you what goes down there. But Eating. We eat food.

Speaker 3: 23:41

I was like the fuck. How erotic.

Speaker 1: 23:46

Yeah, amazing those green vegetables.

Speaker 2: 23:50

No but.

Speaker 1: 23:50

I think, for a lot of people, because they, you know, I think one of the things that I really love about you and I think is hugely benefited, I guess, me and our relationship and me being able to be more comfortable and secure is the fact that you're really clear on who you are. As a woman like you don't tolerate any shit, so it's very easy for you to pull me up when I'm slacking or doing whatever, which obviously holds me to a higher standard, and I hope I sort of do that, do that as well, and I think, obviously because we're both quite ambitious it motivates like that.

Speaker 1: 24:31

We're in a very driven household, but we also we're like really equal household as well, fuck yeah.

Speaker 3: 24:39

Like you're home and you're like I've been at work all day and expect me to cook and clean, like that's obviously was never going to happen in this relationship. Yeah, and it is a really nice moment when we're both like we're both cooking or both cleaning, and you know we don't expect the other person Like I don't expect you to be the breadwinner, and just like.

Speaker 1: 25:03

I'm fucking not, I'm just fine.

Speaker 3: 25:05

I worked in your relationship, but for us I feel like we just do a lot of the tasks together and we make our lives happen together and I think that's been very helpful in our relationship, because we're directly.

Speaker 1: 25:21

We do be we. I feel like we never like. Obviously we've spoken about it a few times when I've been a bit lazy and things like that but I think we, because we had such a respect for each other and obviously we've had relationships in the past and we've learned what's not worked well in those and things like that We've just that that mutual respect has helped us sort of just naturally go right over famous cooking. Tonight I'll clean, or vice versa, although sometimes when I'm trying to cook you always jump in because you don't trust me.

Speaker 3: 25:59

I forget, if I can salt and garlic. Hey the onion garlic butter that's all you need to do and sugar for cooking. That's the secret.

Speaker 1: 26:09

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 26:12

But it is. It's just treating your partner as a person and not just like a slave or someone who you want to mold or make, make your perfect person, you know, because you've got to work together to create a life that you want. Sounds so cliche, but it's so true, like you have a partner to share life with, not to make your life better.

Speaker 1: 26:40

Yeah, exactly, they're not a loving slave.

Speaker 1: 26:43

Yeah, exactly we just come home and everything's done. But we know, yeah, I guess we never really spoke about like we obviously have since, but I think it just came from a place of respecting each other that we naturally just did those things and obviously it's still not expected Like I don't come home, as you said, every night expecting dinner or vice versa and I didn't expect all these other things. But it's like nice when you get that in one of the books. I remember when I first read the five love languages because I was always like I just don't understand why Amy, you buy me gifts all the time, like yours is so thoughtful and caring with that. I was like I don't really care for gifts. And then I read the five love languages and I was like it's because Amy loves gifts, that's her love language and I never buy you stuff.

Speaker 3: 27:36

Yeah, no, I don't know. I think I'm over that, though. Can your love languages change?

Speaker 1: 27:40

I'm sure they can, Everything can change. But yeah, I was always like that's why when I bought you flowers about five years ago is the greatest day ever. I'm still trying to pay off the wedding ring.

Speaker 3: 27:51

Yeah, maybe I don't know, Maybe it is still my love language.

Speaker 1: 27:56

I think it definitely is, but like, definitely definitely.

Speaker 3: 28:00

It makes me sound so materialistic.

Speaker 1: 28:03

No, it's not even that Like. You just always do nice things for me. Like when you left to America you left a card in my drawer saying well, you know I'm not going to give away all the juicy details, but you left a card in my sock drawer, like things like that is still a gift. It's like you're giving over your time, you're giving. You just do all these really nice. If you go to the shops, you'll bring home me a little chocolate mousse, or there's always thoughtfulness in everything.

Speaker 1: 28:28

Whereas like I'm really like right, I'm going to the shop, I'm just going to get steak and potatoes, that's it, nothing else, Whereas for me it's like I try to give time or whatever, because that's what I enjoy about it. So, obviously, then, going well, amy loves gifts. I need to get. And even saying this now, I'm like fuck, I'm useless with that. I need to get better at that.

Speaker 3: 28:52

Yeah, but it's as you said. It's not always like it doesn't have to be an expensive gift. It can just be like a little something to remind them that you were thinking of them, or.

Speaker 1: 29:01

Yeah, it's not even the expensive stuff, that isn't what matters. It's like the thoughtful stuff, like where you have to make a time goes into it, or you know, like the wedding gift I gave you Actually, you got me really thoughtful one as well, but I made the photo album for us, but it just didn't arrive in time. It arrived the day after we left, but you got it when you got back, like for me, that's like Bracelet. Oh yeah, I did too. I'm a jewelry king.

Speaker 1: 29:30

Lucky Hogan's a jeweler, yeah, and that bloody Whopper indeed. But what, I guess, for people who are struggling in relationships or just feel like they continually have bad luck in relationships, what would you, what advice would you give for them?

Speaker 3: 29:52

For people who have bad luck in relationships.

Speaker 1: 29:54

Well, just feel like obviously there's no bad luck. It's just really we need to be aware of where we're fucking up, or whether we're choosing the wrong people or we've got to work on our communication or our emotional management. What would you sort of advice would you give to them to?

Speaker 3: 30:11

build a thriving relationship.

Speaker 3: 30:14

Yeah, could be all of the above and also just, I just think that people have this idealistic view that their partner is going to be this incredible soulmate that's going to sweep them off their feet and it's going to be like the movies and when, realistically, it's probably not like that. You know, yeah, you have the honeymoon phase, but you've got to be aware that that dies off and then you've got to put in some work and have commitment to this person, commitment to yourself that you're going to get better and you're going to make it work because you love this person and you know that you guys get along. You're going to spend a lot of time together and if you can't see yourself really growing old with the person, then, yeah, maybe move on.

Speaker 1: 31:01

But what the fuck are you doing?

Speaker 3: 31:04

Yeah, but I do think that people probably give up a little bit too easily as well, because the person's not their quote. Unquote dream girl, dream guy. I think just putting in a little bit of effort goes a long way.

Speaker 1: 31:18

And just also not thinking the grass is greener, like I had a conversation with a client about it the other day and I was like what do you like the best way to appreciate what you've got? Because anything that you've had, or like if you've been in a relationship for long enough, it's really easy to take even the smallest things for granted. Like you know, I bring me bringing you a cup of coffee every morning, but things it's very easy. So you know, taking the time each morning to say what's one thing I appreciate about my partner because it's really yeah.

Speaker 1: 31:50

Once you you know I'm sure you get frustrated at me for fucking leaving my shoes at the door or various other things like that, and it's like in the grand scheme of thing, it's not a big fucking deal. But when you see that you then start to notice all the other things that irritate you, and that irritation then grows and can make you be a little bit pissed off with your partner. So it's going okay. Well, the shoes are there, fair play, I can pick that up and we can move on. But what's one thing that I really appreciate about my partner that you know, because you know it's not giving you anything about how many people probably died today, which is going very morbid, but if your partner were to walk out the door, or wife or husband or whatever, and they weren't to come back, what would you miss most about them?

Speaker 1: 32:36

and it's those things that we need to focus on, because they're the things that we get every day but we take for granted.

Speaker 3: 32:45

Yeah, so true.

Speaker 1: 32:47

So, I get my 7.30 message from you every day.

Speaker 3: 32:51

Yeah, yeah, and I think just that the grass isn't always greener is like the point I was trying to make. It's like people are always like, oh, this relationship's gone stale. But it's like has it, or have you just stopped putting an effort because you know you're going to get into a new relationship and it's going to be all exciting again for the first two months, and then, oh, it's gone stale again. It's like we have so many exciting adventures, but it's not always like that, like most days it's just normal, you know, like wake up, work, dinner, repeat, but then you have those magical moments where you just remember like, oh, the little honeymoon phase comes back for a minute, for a period of time, and you know you can't expect that to be real life and I think as well.

Speaker 1: 33:44

You know we fall into that trap, both of us. But I think about remember when we started doing those walks, the city loop, when you were wanting to walk and I started coming and like as much as I was always like fuck, that's like two hours out of my day, it was still so fun doing that, like you know. Moments like that, I think, because once again, we do fall into those routines. Monday to Friday. Obviously, weekends we allow a bit more flexibility in what we choose to do. However, on the weekdays it's like I want to be in bed by a certain time, we want to cook dinner, we want to do this, that and the other. We're getting emails, but when you can, actually it doesn't hurt anyone, it doesn't do anything to especially yours and my business for us to go. Let's go for a fucking walk.

Speaker 1: 34:25

And it's so fun because it's literally just us checking out whatever's going on and having a good time, and so I think for me personally I just from what you said, then I'm like I take those things for granted and it's probably when you get back something we should re-git, even when we caught the city cat, like that was a fucking mission, but it was fun at the same time, like just you know what I think was really, and like little magic moments talking about those little, little moments that you really appreciate and don't take for granted.

Speaker 3: 34:56

But when we were learning our wedding dance. It's fun, but fun, weird experience that we probably won't do again but it was just like a moment where we just like were fully focused on the moment and like trying to learn dance moves, that was fun.

Speaker 1: 35:12

We just like cleared out our little moments and we were like we had this fun.

Speaker 3: 35:18

We just like cleared out our living room space to try and learn these dance moves and, yeah, that was a really special time, I think well, maybe I was actually thinking about this morning in Nashville, like surely we're going to do some line dancing line dancing surely there's going to be.

Speaker 1: 35:36

I'm bringing my boots over you're going to buy me a big hat, so one would only hope we're going to do a bit of heel and toe.

Speaker 3: 35:46

I'm going to eat some fried chicken.

Speaker 1: 35:49

Tell you that much definitely and once again, like even for obviously we don't have children yet, but for those who have children, you know we've got a lot of friends who have children and one of the cool things that I, I guess, watch for them is they still prioritise their relationship. Obviously, you know, the kid becomes the centre, but if you neglect, what was the beginning of that life was the relationship. So making sure you do still go out with friends and make time to do the things that you really enjoy, because otherwise you can get obviously extremely tired, fucking agitated and pissed off at each other and then once again you get into that bad feedback loop.

Speaker 3: 36:31

We just need to be more aware around what's going to bring you the best relationship yeah, it's going to be interesting when we do get to that part of our lives someone said to me the other day they're like you guys are going to have extremely athletic babies because you wrote a marathon and I wrote a marathon.

Speaker 1: 36:47

They're like they're going to be fucking weapons and I was like I can only hope you never know well, I do never know, but you know, if people are saying that, then let's hope that it sort of brings it into reality.

Speaker 3: 37:03

I don't care, I'll be fine. Well, as long as I don't have to get up and watch the cricket on a Saturday morning well, I've been laughing.

Speaker 1: 37:09

I've been laughing so hard because so I get to Nashville in what eight days or something. I said to you. I was like let's go see some sport and every sport is finished, except for baseball. I've never. I don't understand baseball, but I assume it's probably very similar, hey.

Speaker 3: 37:25

I said, at least we'll be in the same boat yeah, but I assume it's much like cricket.

Speaker 1: 37:29

You hate cricket, I enjoy cricket. I think it's going to go for like four or five hours. We're going to eat a lot of hot dogs, drink some beers and choose a team to barric for. Eve after the first hot dog no, no, we'll make the most of it, but I think we'll wrap it up there for everyone who's tuned in, if you have, if Amy does a cameo appearance every 12 months.

Speaker 3: 38:01

I hope I give some okay advice.

Speaker 1: 38:03

I just I think at the end of the day, it's not even advice we're giving, it's a conversation around things things that have helped us and everyone who listened. It's like it may help you or it may not. It may tell you what not to for you. You know, not everyone's the same as us, obviously. However, if you are wanting tips and tricks or just different perspectives, and you definitely would have picked something up- yeah because we're what?

Speaker 3: 38:31

nearly nine years old couple and now hmm, I still look like I'm 21 and I wish I could say the same thank you thank you for coming on.

Speaker 1: 38:46

You've got a patreon now, so if there's any shillers listening and you want to jump on some body positivity and country music, which is obviously my favorite as well, head over to our patreon just your instagram patreoncom slash amy shepherd pie and get into the inside scoop of what's happening there. But thank you for coming on, darling.

Speaker 1: 39:12

I obviously this is our phone call for the night, so this is our date night while you're abroad and I'm chilling in Brisbane, but I'll be over in eight days, so for everyone who's tuning in for the first time, thank you for tuning in. Make sure you hit follow on whatever platform you're now watching, and leave a review as well. That's always helpful and I look forward to sharing the next episode with you alright.

Speaker 3: 39:39

Thanks for having me on. Thanks for listening everyone.