Iron Cowboy James Lawrence: Defying the Impossible #559

Join James "The Iron Cowboy" Lawrence, with Lachlan Stuart on The Man That Can Project podcast. We chat about:

• Redefining Impossible
• Happiness
• Success

Discover the power of resilience, family support, and transforming adversity into triumph.

Lachlan Stuart & James dive into a discussion on happiness, success, and redefining impossible through daily habits and long-term commitments.

Connect With James:
https://www.ironcowboy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/ironcowboyjames/
https://www.youtube.com/c/JamesLawrenceIronCowboy

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Transcript

Lachlan Stuart: 0:51

Today I have a very inspiring guest, someone that I have been following online since around 2018, james Lawrence, the Iron Cowboy. Welcome, thank you.

James Lawrence: 1:02

Lockie Excited to be here and hopefully we say something that resonates with every member of the listening audience today.

Lachlan Stuart: 1:11

Definitely know we will. You are such an inspiring individual. I remember it was around 2018, I was watching the Barkley Marathon documentary on YouTube and then, all of a sudden, you popped up in the side trending videos or recommended videos and I was like I'll check this out. And firstly, I was like that's not possible, because the 50-50-50 is the video that popped up for those who aren't familiar, and that was 50 full-length Ironman in 50 days across 50 states, and what you didn't put in the title was that your family would be traveling with you at the same time.

Lachlan Stuart: 1:42

So I'm watching this and I'm like, nah, I can't even, you know, traveling with my wife, we get along like a house on fire, but it's challenging. And you've got your family doing this and you're doing a rigorous exercise like an Ironman. And for those who don't know what it is, I've converted this to miles, but it's a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bicycle ride and a marathon to finish it off. So 26.2 miles every day for 50 days with the travel. So I was sitting there going it's not possible Like I can't imagine how that's possible.

James Lawrence: 2:18

And then it's interesting for us to look back on it, cause that was in 2015. Um, and it's it's fun now because, uh, my oldest daughter at the time was was just 12. And my youngest was um five. And just just crazy to think five kids that age in in that type of environment, on that kind of adventure and to look back on it now. We just married off Lucy, who was the 12 year old, who, um, is now 21. And my youngest um, which was five, is now 14. And so it's just really, really fun to have included the kids in that journey, to watch the lessons that they pulled from it and then applied them in their lives and who they've now become because of these things that we do. So it's just really been the gift that we were given that we never expected to be part of this project or the projects or the adventure. It's very inspiring to see that you've managed to be part of this project or the projects or the adventure.

Lachlan Stuart: 3:16

It's very inspiring to see that you've managed to do that and bring your family along. A lot of men that I work with and have seen they sacrifice family life and whether they're aware of it or not, in the pursuit of success, whether that's financial or climbing the corporate ladder. And you've been successful in your career. You're a speaker, you're a successful family man and you're breaking world records left, right and center. How was it that you, or what, inspired you to redefine impossible?

James Lawrence: 3:45

Yeah, I think initially there's so many different facets to our story and reasons why we do this, and it kind of all came to a head when the economic crash happened in 08. And I owned a mortgage company at the time. I was living that American dream. You know, entrepreneur, which I am I'm a serial entrepreneur, as we'll probably discuss in this podcast, but we lost everything and I had a passion for racing and also I always love to figure out ways to give back. It's interesting Just finished watching a Netflix on documentary about centurions and the highest population of people that lived over 100.

James Lawrence: 4:22

And they compared all these different areas and then pulled in the commonalities from all these areas and it was interesting to recognize that one of the things that was common between all of these different parts of the world that had this high concentration was service.

James Lawrence: 4:37

Between all of these different parts of the world that had this high concentration was service, and so I thought that was fascinating, because we always tie these big projects to service to other people that are less fortunate than we are, and so this whole thing started by us trying to make an impact, raise money. The first world record we did was in 2010, and it was the most half Ironmans done official races on the circuit and we did it to raise money to build dams in africa and we called it the try and give a damn project. Um, and so that that's really how it started was like we lost everything in the economy. I had a passion for racing and I was building now building a new coaching business um, and just it's spiraled out of control to open doors and avenues that we never dreamt would be possible.

Lachlan Stuart: 5:21

What made you pivot, though? Because the instant thought for me was, if I was to lose everything in 2008, I would just try and find another job and just grind harder. But you essentially jumped out and pursued something that, maybe even in 2008, probably wasn't financially lucrative, and you had a family. So what was it that pushed you in that direction?

James Lawrence: 5:42

Yeah, it's interesting. You know, I absolutely hate the term burn the ships. You know, I think it's just the worst advice that people get and they get fired up and the massive disservice that social media is doing that glamorizes entrepreneurship. What people are doing is they get this, this belief that they need to, like, quit their day job and and chase a side hustle and and it's so wrong I'm in terms of mentality you have to, you have to chase that dream and burn the candle at both ends for a short period of time and you keep your day job because it puts food on the table. Um, and I hope I'm not going contrary to what your messaging normally is no, no, no, no.

Lachlan Stuart: 6:20

This is on par.

James Lawrence: 6:22

But what it was for me is, you know, my ships were burnt. For me, like, like we got, we got attacked, we got bombed. You know, all my, all, my, all my warships got sunk and um, and so I I saw it as an opportunity where I didn't have to make that choice and we were, we were at rock bottom and we now had an opportunity to create and chase that side hustle. Now, I don't want people to to misunderstand that that was the only thing I did was that that hustle dude. I took every odd end job at the lowest part of the economy. I was hanging construction cabinets and new construction houses at night while I was training. In the day, my wife was in school full time, we had the five little kids. I was doing sales jobs as much, like we were grinding, but we also prioritized, put food on the table and then we chase the dream. And so it was kind of in this position where I was like, do whatever I can for money uh, because we're scrappers, we're fighters and and build that, build that dream on on the other side of it. And so, man, it was. It was a 24 hour a day pursuit.

James Lawrence: 7:27

But what was fascinating is, you know, crisis will either drive a wedge between a couple or it'll bring you closer together. And and with us, it brought us closer together. Because we were like, okay, we, we just lost everything. Like they literally knocked on our door, took away our home, repoed our cars Like we had nothing. We were broke, broken, homeless and it was like, okay, now what? And we were like, okay, you do this, you do this hustle, I'll do this hustle, make sure food's on the table. Okay, like literally my kids were in the front room sleeping in front of a fire, that I went and got coal from a coal mine so that I wouldn't have to wake up, or I was on a job site so that the coal would burn all night long, and then it's a restock it with with wood.

James Lawrence: 8:07

Like people don't understand sacrifice and really going after something, cause it takes a long time to build an empire. And it's so funny. We just had a. We just had a meeting with our financial advisor and my wife and I you know when the meeting was done and you know we were looking at our, our portfolio and our investments and things that we have and she was like I hope you recognize and can pat yourself on the back for the work that you've done over the past decade to put us in this position, and I think you know we're going on tons of tangents here. But I think again, this toxic social media entrepreneurship wave of glory and glamour, they don't realize it takes a decade, man.

James Lawrence: 8:49

And I love where Alex Hermosi says like the more patient you can be and the longer you can wait, the more you'll be wealthy. And for us that was so true. Like I was man, we were broke for a decade, but I was okay with that because I knew. I knew the long-term vision and I knew what, if I was patient and I just kept doing the work, one day that domino effect would happen. And then it's turned into an avalanche and so. But there's, the problem is most people aren't willing to wait for the avalanche fall, and by burning your ships, like we talked about at the beginning, they become desperate and decisions are emotionally driven, and when that happens you are screwed and you quickly run out of time, money and assets. And then guess what? You got to go back to your dumb ass job anyway. So you might as well keep it.

Lachlan Stuart: 9:38

It's an intelligent way of looking at it and I believe there's always something that has to happen first to do it, and everyone's tolerance to risk or stress, which is one of the messages I know that you promote about doing hard things, and that's relative to the individual. But for you guys, in 2008, I was still at school then, but that would have been some heavy stuff to deal with. I was still at school then, but that would have been some heavy stuff to deal with. Why do you feel that yourself and your wife Sunny didn't bicker, didn't turn in on each other, which seems to be a common thing within?

James Lawrence: 10:05

relationships. Yeah, bickering, fear and anger serve zero purpose and it's completely nonproductive. And so if you find yourself in that situation, you have to question and say how was this benefiting the situation at all? It's not moving the needle forward, it's actually hurting the needle from moving and you're either staying stagnant or moving, in fact moving backwards. And so you know, we recognize that that life is going to happen good, bad ugly. We recognize that that life is going to happen good, bad ugly, indifferent. And you now get to choose how you navigate that.

James Lawrence: 10:47

And again, fear and negativity and bickering halts progress. Do that, or we can band together, join forces and be a powerful duo that just plows forward without any excuses and not allowing that moment to define us. I guarantee you, you can look around and there's still victims from the 08 economic crash. There's still victims from the pandemic wipeout, like it happened to all of us. We were all living and present when that happened and it impacted us all, and so you can either choose to be a victim or a victor, and we chose to be victors and there's still people that are living in a victim mentality. Woe is me, mindset, and guess what? Good luck in life.

Lachlan Stuart: 11:30

What would your advice be to someone who's sitting in that maybe they've just recognized now that they are in that victim mindset but they want to go to the victim mindset. What would be some things that you would do?

James Lawrence: 11:40

Yeah, you immediately have to recognize that your past doesn't define your future and you can't change it. And if you don't like your environment or what you're experiencing right now, you have to first figure out the outcome or the possible outcome that you want and then figure out what it's going to take to be that individual. Like, let's say, you want to be in better shape Okay. You look at someone that's in shape. What do they do? They go to the gym Great. You don't have a gym membership, we'll get one. A healthy person also has good eating habits Great. You have shitty habits Okay. What do I need to do in order to do that? It's not rocket science anymore, like, we are in the information age. If you're using lack of like knowledge as as a as an inhibitor like you're a dumb ass Like I. I, I have very low tolerance for individual. It's just excuses after excuses, I have excuses. So someone that's like oh, maybe I am being a victim and I'd like to be a Victor Great. What's the outcome you want? And then start acting like the person that's going to have that You're not going to change. It's not fake it till you make it. It's like start being the person until you develop those habits.

James Lawrence: 12:39

And I heard the other day and it was so fricking brilliant it was like you get to choose to be happy and people will push back and like, no, I just can't decide to be happy one day and no, you're right, you can't, but you can change the activities that you're doing on a daily basis. That'll lead to your happiness. Nothing happens like this and overnight. Like people, just like I'm so fricking tired of people like I want it right now. Great, you're 23. Shut the hell up, you don't get it right now. You've got to make a lot of sacrifices in order to get there. I'm so tired of this, this like mentality of I want to right now and entrepreneurship's easy dude.

James Lawrence: 13:11

Like I heard a stat the other day. I think it was like 7% of people that that start entrepreneurship like make it past the first year and then like 1% of that 7% actually make it. Make it. It was a brilliant. It was a brilliant podcast by Ed Milad and Nanny Frisella, two buddies of mine. Um, and it's just like every word they said resonated with me and I'm like finally, somebody actually that's done the entrepreneurship road speaking truths about it and like like discrediting every like 20, something ever on online. That's like I made $7 million with a side hustle. No, you didn't.

Lachlan Stuart: 13:45

I love that. It was something. I was listening to a podcast of yours this morning where you were really diving into the eliminate excuses and entitlement and it was a note that I'd written down because how you spoke about it was phenomenal and going back through COVID and a lot of hardships, it's like people just want the thing. Now they have this idea that they want the 7 million bucks or they want the good body, but they aren't prepared to do this stuff day in, day out.

James Lawrence: 14:09

Well, and here's the thing, I know your audience is a little bit older and there's going to be people that are listening that are like, okay, I'm out of shape and, and you know, it took me 15, 20 years to get here, and then, for some reason, we expect to reverse a decade worth of poor decisions to happen in one, two or three months. But the reality is is like your mind and your body don't trust you yet and you haven't been consistent and disciplined for long enough. It's like it's like it's like a career criminal that goes like it finally gets caught and he goes to prison and and in his first month he's like man, I am really sorry for what I did and and I'd like to be let out of prison at this point. And we're like, uh, no, we don't trust you yet. Um, we need you to sit there a little bit longer, Right? And that's what's happening with our mind and our body.

James Lawrence: 15:01

We've we beat ourselves up for a long period of time mentally, emotionally, physically for 10, 15, 20 years, and then we're like, okay, I've made a change, I've been, I've been good for one month, but your mind's like I don't trust that you're going to be good until it holds on to those emotions and that weight and that and and and the way that we think and it. You know, I like to call it an invisible progress, because we have to continually do the work so that our body, our body and our mind slowly go. Okay, I'm starting to trust that this is the new you, but I still need proof. And then it takes time and time again. I just don't understand why people think it took 20 years to get to this place and I can reverse it in one to three months. Why do you?

James Lawrence: 15:39

feel what we came in.

Lachlan Stuart: 15:41

We came out of the gates hot, I know it's, it's awesome, though I'm loving it, but it's with like someone who's in that going through that process and they're like, oh, it's a motivation. I really lack motivation. I do want to change, but it's cold outside this morning or there was some Lamingtons or brownies left in the fridge. What would you say to those people?

James Lawrence: 16:02

It's so funny, joe Rogan. He says a lot of fun stuff, but he's like F your motivation, because it has nothing to do with motivation. And even the guys that you see that are winning dude, they're not motivated, they're just disciplined. They do it when they don't want to, they do it when it's inconvenient. You just have to start to create wins and momentum. And again, what a lot of people do and they misstep is they set a goal. It's too big, and then they try to figure out how to go from couch to a hundred. You know meaning a hundred Ironmans, which we did, but you can't go from zero to a hundred. You have to start to put yourself in a position to where you start to believe and that the success is happening, like success creates success and momentum is moment. And you know all these things have to happen in sequential order and and what people need to do is they just start to. They need to just start accumulating really small wins.

James Lawrence: 16:55

One of my favorite books and it's massive number one sellers, james Clear, atomic Habits, when he talks about a guy that wanted to lose weight and he sets this huge goal six days a week, two hours a day in the gym, but the reality was he said no. His mentor said no, go to the gym for five minutes. When five minutes is up, leave. And he's like dude, I'm not going to accomplish anything in five minutes. And he's like you're right, you're not, but we have to fix your mind before we can fix your body. And he started to go to the gym for five minutes a day and he had to leave after those five minutes. But over the first week, two weeks, three weeks, what did he become? He became a gym goer, which now changes the psychology in your mind that you're now a gym goer.

James Lawrence: 18:32

Those are small, tiny wins. That shifts in long-term. But again, people are running to victories and mountaintops before they are understanding how to navigate base camp, how to adjust to the elevation changes, how to really tweak my equipment, get my ligaments and tendons to match the growth rate of my muscles. All these things are happening that we're missing. The growth rate of my muscles. All these things are happening that we're missing. And it's truly about those small moments along the way. Those are the most important moments and will allow you to win in the long term.

Lachlan Stuart: 19:06

Such an important thing that I hope a lot of people really soak up because, yeah, everyone just wants to, even for me. When I saw your 50-50, I was like man, I can do that. And I was like then I thought about it logically. I was like there's no way on earth I could do that.

James Lawrence: 19:22

Especially when you talk about the ligament stuff. No, I hadn't done that. But here's the reality. I've had epigenetic tests done. I've had everything done. There's no major marker that separates me from anybody else. You are just like me and I'm just like you. The difference is is I started with a four mile fun run and then I did sprint triathlons, and then I did Olympics and then I did a half, and then I did the half Ironmans and then only then, after years that I'd be like okay, I think I'm ready to tackle a full. And then I did it.

James Lawrence: 19:48

But people wake up. To get motivated, inspired, I signed up for an Ironman and then you're like well, what, you get, no business doing an Ironman, like your experience is going to be shit, like you have to go back and start those foundational building blocks. So so I just want you to be careful in the language that you use in terms of like you couldn't do that. You can. You just have to be willing to sacrifice what it takes in order to do it.

James Lawrence: 20:12

And most people don't understand the timeframe. The goal is great, but you have to respect the distance between the goal and the objective, and that's where most people misstep, because they go from goal to massive or start to massive dream, and then they fail because they try to sprint to it. And now what happens after they do that multiple times is now they start to associate themselves with a failure. It's the opposite of going to the gym five minutes a day they're doing the opposite effect. They keep failing and they're not learning, and so now they believe they're a failure, and that leads to stop trying. And now they're stuck.

Lachlan Stuart: 20:47

So, to overcome that association of failure, you would then go back to building the small wins, finding those small wins, whether it's a four mile fun run, and building off of that and, as you said, respecting the process and just playing the longterm game, being patient.

James Lawrence: 21:02

Everything is a long-term game. Trust me everybody listening there is no magic bullet, there's no secret pill, there's no secret sauce. It just doesn't exist. It's only through hard work, dedication and discipline. And, like Joe Rogan says, man, motivation's crap. I hate that I'm in the motivational speaking category on stage, because it's not what I am. In fact, I'm trying to get people to say I'm an empowering speaker, because motivation is a fleeting thought that leads to nothing. I want to empower you to the point that you take action and make change in your life. That, to me, is a big difference. I'm an empowering speaker, not a motivational speaker.

Lachlan Stuart: 21:38

That's epic. Where did the idea then come from? The 50-50-50? I know we've jumped out of the gates with a lot of things that help people within their life, but for you personally, I'd love to dive into that. 50, 50, 50, because it's. And just quickly, for those who haven't watched the documentary go watch the documentary. I've watched it on YouTube. You can rent it and buy it and do all that sort of stuff on YouTube.

James Lawrence: 22:02

But even from your website and it's also on Amazon Prime and it's on Peacock. Yeah, so and Apple TV, but even from your website and also on amazon prime, and it's on peacock yeah so and apple tv.

Lachlan Stuart: 22:09

It will blow your mind and then you'll probably want to come back and listen to this again. But where did the, where did the idea come from? Because to me it's just it's. I know it would have been once again that big brick by brick process for you to get there, but 50, 50, 50 share it.

James Lawrence: 22:24

Share where that came from yeah, and I think that's the problem too, is people see the headline not knowing the history, um, and then again it motivates people and it gets people off the couch to do things, but it leads to some other problems and so I think it's important to understand one's history. And, like I said, my journey started with a four mile fun run that led to sprint triathlons. That led to falling in love with the community, that led to half Ironmans, that led to a single first Ironman and it was an amazing experience. I fell in love with again the community and that the challenge of learning swimming, biking, running, strength training, nutrition, mental toughness, like it's not a it's not a triathlon, it's a six discipline sport, and to me that was fascinating and I loved like trying to break all of those down and the variety of the training was amazing and I was doing it with my wife and our kids were. You know, we were growing this little family and it was just a ton. It was a really cool time in our lives to do a big give back through a passion and we were raising money to build dams in Africa for that first world record and then it led to the second world record, which was the most Ironman's done around the world 30 events through 11 countries smash the world record by one third.

James Lawrence: 23:37

And then it's always interesting, and this is this is a. This is a point that I really want to drive home with people is you can't see the next mountain or challenge until you're ready for it. And people currently are sitting at home playing video games, watching porn and eating pizza, waiting for their passion to knock on their door and slap them across the face. It just doesn't work that way. You have to go out and do things and then, and then, all of a sudden you're like, holy crap, this is amazing. I'm having experiences in life, and as you start to climb mountains, you're like, wow, I, I've changed. I have a different experience base, my knowledge is different. I now believe more is possible. In fact, I can see a mountain that I couldn't see before, because now I'm on top of this mountain.

James Lawrence: 24:17

And so when we finished that world record in 2012, I was about race 27 of 30 in that campaign. I was actually just finished race 27. I was in Arizona at a buddy's house. I looked at my wife and I said hey, you know, you know that you know that story of Dean Karnasas, who did 50 marathons in 50 days in 50 States, and she was like, yes, and I was like, what do you think would happen if we did that with an Ironman? And she pretty much slapped me across the face, told me to shut the hell up, and my timing was terrible. Um, because we were in the middle of our, our second world record, um, but, but, uh, but.

James Lawrence: 24:53

But it planted a seed and and I believe that more is possible at that point, based on what we've been experiencing and for the next two and a half years, I started to put together the 50,. Um, because I watched Dean and what it did with his career and the opportunities and doors that had opened. And, um, and I and I, you know, I I always like try to take what somebody has done with the marathon and then do it with an Ironman. Um, because our race is hasn't has a marathon in it, but there's a significant amount of work that goes before that marathon happens, and so just really started to to piece it together and it became this like passion for me.

James Lawrence: 25:26

And, uh, my kids were little, ages five to 12. And I wanted to again have impact and raise money for the childhood obesity epidemic and at the time this was the statistic that this is the first generation ever where the parents are slated to outlive the kids. And I was like that sucks, I got five kids. I'm not, you know, having them die before me and I want to do what I can to help other people not be that sucks. I got five kids I'm not, you know, having them die before me and I want to do what I can to help other people not be in that situation.

James Lawrence: 25:51

And so that that became part of this campaign was to try to try to drive home education and raise funds for that. And then we went on an incredible adventure um the summer of 2015, where we tackled, like you said, 50 Ironmans, 50 days, 50 states. They were our own curated events that we had to put on, so logistically really heavy. Started in Hawaii, did an Ironman flew to Alaska, did an Ironman flew to Washington, did an Ironman, all piled into a motor home and just started to navigate the lower 48, averaged less than four hours of sleep a night, consume more than 10,000 calories a day, and was met every single day with absolute chaos and confusion.

Lachlan Stuart: 26:32

That's what blew my mind was how you were pushing yourself to the limits and you didn't appear to snap. I know when people are really. You're chasing greatness, you're redefining impossible. You have to be hitting a threshold to some point, and a lot of people, when they hit thresholds whether it's through COVID or losing their job or even physically there's a snapping point. And you and your family and the support team that you had around seemed to juggle that or just support each other so well, to the point where it just worked. And what's the secret there?

James Lawrence: 27:04

Yeah, I mean we definitely had breaking points, but I think the secret to that and I shout this from the rooftops nothing great is ever accomplished on our own, and I can't go out there on my own and do these kinds of things and I need an unbelievable team. My team for the 50 was like my wife, sunny, my five kids and then two friends that we called the wingmenman, casey and Aaron, and really it became me. Sonny, casey and Aaron were the, were the, the lead of this thing, and we really had to lean on each other, trust each other. We, we, the four of us just we do not make excuses, we are not entitled and and we do what it takes now. Now, don't don't misunderstand that none of us had moments, because we allowed each other to have those moments. Nobody's perfect. We all need those moments to process, but we also believe in having quick turnarounds and not allowing ourselves to spiral and, excuse me and every single one of us had that moment where we're like okay, I'm back into a corner right now, emotionally, physically, spiritually. I just need five minutes to reset. I'm going to go over here, I'm going to cry. Uh, I'm going to, I'm going to toss and turn, I'm going to piss and moan and then I'm going to be right back, and we allowed each other to do that.

James Lawrence: 28:17

And the purpose of a team is the chances of all four of very rare, and we all had the mindset that when one person was doing that, we don't jump in and all get on a pity party together, because that's what you're starting to see, right, you see people that are struggling, get together and then really commiserate together. And then now you're spiraling as two of you and then two more people come aboard and I got four of you spiraling and just being toxic together and we just were we're not tolerant of any of that type of behavior and attitudes and we just got really, you know, fortunate with the mindset of our team. We all, we all share that same mindset of like okay, we're going to have moments where we need to pause, take a deep breath, but we're going to get right back at it and not make excuses. And we all understood that in order for something like this to work, you just have to adapt the mindset of being a master problem solver.

Lachlan Stuart: 29:11

Was that something you established before you kicked off to have those boundaries in place? Because I just know for me, when emotions are high, my intellect is extremely low and sometimes I can say things I'll regret. Or, for me, I would just feel the need that I would have to have those conversations before I even kicked it off, because, as you said, you can congregate and have the whole team spiraling down, so to have people who can lift you up and sort of break those patterns. Was that forward thinking or was that just the kind of people that you are?

James Lawrence: 29:41

I think it's both. It's the kind of people we are. We resonate with each other. My wife and I, sonny, we set that standard from the start. We'd learned from the 08 crash and doing the first two world records. That is how it has to operate. In order for you to be successful, and if you want to be on this team, you have to have that mindset, and then we're big.

James Lawrence: 30:00

And this is something I teach from stages and at our retreats is you have to have what's called an ethos, and an ethos is what you stand for, black and white.

James Lawrence: 30:11

Because when you get into that moment of of peak exhaustion, fatigue, confusion, chaos, it's really hard to make the right decision. And so you have to go into a situation knowing what the line is in the sand, how you're going to act and what the answer is to those questions, so that it's already predetermined. And then everybody needs to know what that is. So it's your mission statement, it's your, it's your grounding principles, it's it's how you operate, it's it's your book of, of um, of operating, uh, skill sets, and so for us, we knew what those were, we discussed them pre, and we knew what the outcome and objective was and anything that didn't align with our ethics and values or the outcome. It wasn't even on the table, and so we knew what that was. It was predetermined, and so anytime we were confronted with a moment where we were so filled with emotion, we were just like okay, we're going to pause, we're going to remove the emotion, let's go back to our ethos. What does it say? Okay, great, there's the answer, that's what we're doing.

Lachlan Stuart: 31:05

Genius For me hearing stuff like that.

Lachlan Stuart: 31:09

It was such a struggle for me in my own life to be able to learn to set those boundaries and have those conversations.

Lachlan Stuart: 31:14

I didn't grow up with people around me who could communicate that well or harness those conversations.

Lachlan Stuart: 31:20

So when I see people who just do that and are able to set ethos and set boundaries and have their standards, I'm blown away and I'm really intrigued with how that came into their life, because for me it was through reading books and hanging around people who I guess have the results, but I guess I'm trying to pay it forward to when I have children and the next generations to actually just provide those spaces for people. So I'm always curious as to how that comes to people's life because I still think from a lot of my experiences, not enough people are doing that in their relationships, in their careers, with the people that they surround themselves with. So it's cool to hear that. And once again, as you guys would have heard, james said he's got his coaching programs where I'm sure he dives into that a whole heap more, plus speaking from stage as well Throughout the 50, it was controversial, oh sorry, real quick, like, let me ask you a question when, in the history of decisions, was a good decision ever made in the peak of chaos and emotion?

James Lawrence: 32:16

yeah, never, never, never, never is the answer. Um, I mean rare. If it happens, it's probably by luck. But I just started watching successful people and mentors and I recognized that they were prepared for moments. They had predetermined the outcome and then they were doing whatever it took to reach that objective.

James Lawrence: 32:36

But they would pause and remove that emotion and you hear the old adage of like you are the five people you surround yourself most, and they've now narrowed that down to like, really it's the three people, and so we'll we'll call it three to five, and there's going to be some people on this call where it's like, well, I live in a small town, I don't have access to be no man. Your people can be. Your five people can be people you don't even know and you, like, there's so many great thought leaders out there now that we have access to on social media and on YouTube and all these, all these amazing platforms, um, they can be your three to five people and those top leaders, man, they share everything they do and you can start to observe them and dissect what they're doing. They don't even need to know that they're your three to five people. It can be you and your online homies you know what I mean and you just start to watch them, emulate them.

James Lawrence: 33:30

You want to be them. You got to do the things that they're doing and again, it's not fake it till you make it. It's do the activities and instill the habits that they're doing. It's who you become that person. And this whole, this whole podcast, started with a rant about you no longer have an excuse, because we're in the age of information and you can emulate the people that you want to be until you become that person. And again, it's not fake it till you make it. It's changing the activities, actions that you're taking on a daily basis, until that truly becomes who you are.

Lachlan Stuart: 34:03

Doing the hard things that you've continued to build layer by layer, and even for the individuals who are now starting to think maybe I do want to challenge myself has that helped you with making better decisions in those tough moments as well?

James Lawrence: 34:15

I mean, yeah, 100%. At any point in time, when you're in a moment, you have to look at your body of work. What have I done? What experiences can I draw upon to get through this moment?

James Lawrence: 34:27

And if you never intentionally do hard things, you don't have a body of work to draw upon and when real life happens to you, you're going to turn into a pile of mush and you're going to fail, like if you, man, if you were to come to a family of function at our house with our kids, man, and it is loaded with sarcasm and off-color jokes, frankly bullying, inside of our house and all my kids participate in it and we do it to ourselves and it's like we're ready for the real world.

James Lawrence: 34:56

I am not worried about my kids going to the real world and into a workplace or a social environment or whatnot where people are frankly ruthless, frankly ruthless. And if you're sheltering your children or not exposing them to the realities of this world, when they step out of your home and into the real world, someone's going to say something to them. And if they're not ready for it and don't have a thick skin and can't handle sarcasm or jokes or or whatever is is being placed in front of them. They are going to turn into a pile of mush and my kids are going to be like, dude, what? You're not even going to give me a yo mama joke, like what are we Right? So like we've just everyone's just getting so soft and so hypersensitive. Like I'm doing the opposite with my kids, like I'm getting them ready for the real world.

Lachlan Stuart: 35:38

Yeah, it's a shame to see the way, once again, media is portraying these conversations. Obviously, every town and environment's got different ways of thinking about it, but the media is definitely with this cancel culture and coddling and all of that sort of stuff. But the reality is life's hard, it's enjoyable, it's fun, but there's tough shit that happens and doing stuff that you do and for every individual finding those challenges in their own life to prepare themselves for maybe people disagree with them, the jokes or the physical challenges. It's like you just learn to deal with it and the only way you can do that is by challenging yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. All of those ways. It's growth.

James Lawrence: 36:18

Well, and that's the greatest gift anybody can give themselves or become, is to be comfortable with who you are and not care what anybody else thinks, because, at the end of the day, those are just projections from other people. And and if? If I don't care what you think, like that doesn't affect me. Like there's a great book, the subtle art of not giving an F? Uh, by Mark? Um? Yeah, mark Manson, do one of the. It's a really great read.

James Lawrence: 36:42

In fact, I think every young person should read it, because everybody right now is so busy caring about what everybody else thinks. It's crippling you from progress, it's paralyzing you with fear because you're so consumed with what everybody's like talking about and telling you about you. Dude, the greatest gift is to not care what anybody else thinks and as soon as you can get to that point, like that's when freedom happens, that's when you're free to operate and be who you are you are and not and not really be consumed with what whoever else is thinking. Like I wouldn't have said half the stuff on this podcast already If I genuinely cared what anybody else thought. Like that's your problem. Like if I offended you, that's a you issue. Like I just don't care and it's really not me.

James Lawrence: 37:22

You need to take a serious look at your life and like why, why did that upset me? And what experiences have I had in the past that I need to like reshape or revisit because that was upsetting to me? Like it shouldn't be upsetting to you. Like, just be okay that I have my opinions and you have yours and go navigate your life Like it's okay. I think it's great that we have different opinions, but the way social media is and media is driving people is like we all have to agree and have the same opinion on every single thing. Sorry, folks, that's just not how the world works and operates. And you know, I and it's interesting too, because media is one thing, but I think there's just a silent majority that disagrees with everything that media is saying. But there's just that that culture right now is so freaking loud, um man, it's obnoxious.

Lachlan Stuart: 38:10

Yeah, it's. It's terrible and you also for me observing there would never be people that you want on your team to go through the hard things If there was to be another world war or anything like that. It's like to me the hardship that they could deal with if they're getting so offended by words. It's like when shit really happens and hopefully it never does. But you just think about those moments. It's tough, man, it's really tough.

James Lawrence: 38:35

The perspective I want people to have is like it's so hard to have this and as I age and it becomes more and more apparent to me but at the end of the day, none of it matters, like it's it's. It's about how you treat people, it's about the relationships that you cultivate, it's experiences that you have, all the stuff that everyone's worrying about. It just it just doesn't matter, man, and the closer you can get to like not caring about all those little small things and just the stuff that doesn't matter, like you're going to be happier. People keep talking about like trying to find joy and happiness. The less you worry, the happier you'll become.

James Lawrence: 39:09

I had an experience where I was on this TV show called the world's toughest race.

James Lawrence: 39:12

It's it's eight, eight, I think it's eight or nine episodes on Amazon prime, but it was a navigation adventure race through the back jungles of Fiji and what was fascinating was the further we got into the back parts of Fiji and in the jungle, the less and less they had and the happier they were. And it was fascinating to do that. And we had to turn in all of our technology and we were unplugged from the world and it was just amazing to be disconnected from social media and the news and all this outside noise and influence for a week and a half. And all this outside noise and influence for a week and a half and just that small period of time, how it started to change the way we were thinking and it directly impacted our happiness level, right, and it was just so crazy to watch like the less they had, the happier they were. And so maybe think about that for a second. Are we chasing the wrong things? Are we putting the wrong value on or in the wrong areas in our lives? Just think about that.

Lachlan Stuart: 40:11

Yeah, I read I think the book's called Minimalist or Minimalism or something like that where they say that the more stuff you own, the more stuff you have to worry about. In a life of worry, as you've just said, is not a fun way to live. So think about the things that are actually truly important to you. I know through your 50-50-50, you copped criticism and I think that probably loops back to what we were just talking about how you learn to not, I guess, worry about other people's opinions. But it also can drive home getting clear on why you do what you do and, I guess, checking yourself to make sure you're flying with integrity and all of those sorts of things. Can you talk about that experience? You know there was obviously the triathlons inside and the IV drips and stuff like that. I think it's important to our audience because a lot of people, as we've said, people love to comment on all kinds of stuff and it's like they don't know the process. They don't understand why I believe your story is so powerful with that.

James Lawrence: 41:02

Yeah, and if you want to understand a higher level, we're talking about it's in the book Redefine Impossible and it's in the documentary the Iron Cowboy that's on those streaming networks. But but I think I think by going through those experiences making those mistakes, not being perfect, um, executing the best we could with what we were given we learned a ton. Um, I learned that other people's opinions don't mean anything because it's coming from a space of uh, lack of knowledge, um, having no concept of of the journey that somebody else is on, um, and, frankly, it comes from them being jealous that you're actually doing something with your life and they're not. And and the the power to not give them any power was the true gift. And that's really where I started to learn to not not care what anybody else thought, because they can't possibly have, uh have an opinion on what we're doing based on the knowledge and experience that they have, and and so really that was that was the gift.

James Lawrence: 41:55

But then it was also a moment to have that self-reflection and go okay, how can I be better there If, if there's some truth in what they're saying, even though it's pointless? Um, can I, can I take this opportunity, take some accountability and do it better and and improve the process, cause I think that's the point in life is, you know, I get us all the time what's a failure you had in your life? That that you, you know, and I'm like, no, I don't even understand what that means. There are no failures. There's learning and opportunities and and, and that's how you have to choose to look at it.

James Lawrence: 42:26

We're not perfect. We were doing something that nobody in the world had done before and there was no roadmap to success on this kind of thing, and so, yeah, we made mistakes, we misstepped, but we took it as an opportunity to learn and grow and to strengthen our team and to strengthen our processes and what we were doing, and I'm so grateful. We just continue to make the decision to keep going and improving and being better and trying to find excellence in in the human, human spirit, and because of it, it's led to other projects and hundreds of thousands of people being impacted, millions of dollars being raised. Could you imagine if I, if I listened to, to those, those critics back in the beginning, part of my journey, I have no idea where I'd be today, but it wouldn't be here, financially free and living the life of my dreams, I'll tell you that much.

Lachlan Stuart: 43:18

Was it hard to acknowledge that? Like we've spoken a lot about ownership in the beginning it was like accepting responsibility for the situation, especially when you've got so many eyeballs on you. Was that like? What was that process like?

James Lawrence: 43:32

Yeah, it's hard. It's definitely a learning process. You have to have thick skin, you have to take everything with a grain of salt. For me, I tell my kids, look, the cream always rises at the top. It may not be on the timeframe we want it to be on, but if you just keep showing up with honesty and integrity and you're trying to improve every single day, like, just keep doing that and and the the high, what's what's fascinating too and this, this should ring true with a lot of people the higher you get, um, the the the further away from that noise you are, because you can't hear them anymore and because they can't keep pace with you. And, dude, we're on a rocket ship and you're either on my team and we're on the rocket ship together or you're not with us, and it's okay, because you're choosing not to be a passenger, and that's what's really cool.

James Lawrence: 44:17

My kids are seeing this firsthand and they're experiencing it there in their lives too. They're like they're striving for excellence and they're starting to separate from their peers and all of a sudden, you can't hear that noise anymore and now you're starting to surround yourself with people that have that mindset for greatness and are wanting to be on the rocket ship with you and now you become more powerful and you're bringing on the super boosters and all these things and all of a sudden, man, it's just like the noise of awesomeness happening and the noise of greatness happening and that's, that's all you can hear. I don't even get distracted and I don't even hear it anymore, like it's so. It's so comical to me at this point that chatter. I actually feel sorry for them because they are so stuck in in their pathetic ways that that it's just it's. It's just become laughable. Um, they're just vibrating at such a low frequency that that I can't even hear it anymore.

Lachlan Stuart: 45:07

It's a powerful place to get to what was hard at a hundred, the harder the 101 or the 50s.

James Lawrence: 45:13

Very different projects, although from the outside they look the same. And for those new to our journey, in 2015, we did the 50-50-50, which we've talked about, but then in 2021, we doubled it. Pandemic happened Racing was taken off the calendar, speaking was taken off the calendar, retreats was taken off the calendar, coaching was taken, anything to do with live events, which is my entire career, was taken off the calendar and, like most people, life was put on pause. Uh, but my, my industry specifically, was like silenced, terminated and um, so I saw it as an opportunity, and so I you know, I I'd always again. I always want to improve upon the mistakes that I've made in the past, and if you read the book and watch the documentary, you'll know what I'm talking about.

James Lawrence: 45:59

There was some controversy and we made a decision to keep going, and so grateful for those decisions. Um, but I always want to learn from my mistakes and do things better. And so I thought to myself okay, this is the opportunity. I always wanted to redo the 50. I always want to do it better, but I'm like I never. I don't want to do that again because I've done it. And but I thought to myself okay, that project was called redefine impossible. It's the name of our book, um, if, if I put team the same team back in place, if I can learn from our experience and put systems, if I can learn from our experience and put systems and protocols in place, if I can remove chaos, logistics, the enormity of the travel, if wanted to really silence any critic that that that questioned what we did. And so it was a huge career gamble for me because I was betting again everything on myself and my team and um, you know, it was one thing to try to duplicate what you've already done in the past, but to double what everybody said was impossible. You talk about like belief and conviction and believing in yourself and your team. Like I, was really putting my entire career and 10 years worth of work on the line.

James Lawrence: 47:16

And so the Conquer 100 project was born and we did one location here in Utah and for a quarter of a year we did 140.6 miles a day, 14,000 plus miles, and man, did we execute to perfection? Now I was broken physically, mentally, spiritually. I encountered some injuries early on that we couldn't have anticipated because we decided to do this project last minute. I had taken five years off from my peak physical condition and I was just going to rely on my mental toughness and my experience. But it broke my body and now I had to really rely on my mental toughness and my experience. But it broke my body and now I had to really rely on my mental experience and drag a broken body through 140 miles a day for a quarter of a year.

James Lawrence: 47:59

And I am, man so freaking pumped about the documentary that's coming out on March 27th and then the release of our new book called Iron Hope. It dives so deep into the lessons that we've learned and really highlights the struggle, the teamwork, the family and community in the new Conquer 100 documentary. It's going to be so powerful. I'm just really excited for the release of this this year.

Lachlan Stuart: 48:28

I'm so excited to watch it as well. Once again, that podcast I was listening to. You mentioned you were having some trouble getting the doco together, but it's good to hear that it's out on the way. In another book and for those who haven't read your first book, Redefine Impossible by Ian Cowboy I've nearly finished it. I'll probably have finished that in the next 10 days, I'd imagine, but a brilliant read and I believe, like the documentary or the previous documentary, this just goes into so much more detail as well, Like it's really phenomenal to piece both of them together. What were some of the main differences between the 100? Because, as you said, you controlled some variables, you took away some stresses, the travel and stuff like that. What were the main differences that you experienced? Because for me, once again, having not done them and I don't feel I can truly comment, but I look at the 50 and traveling and taking your family, To me that's just wild To me, that's what I feel would have been harder, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.

James Lawrence: 49:25

Yeah, you nailed it, man. It became logistics and managing chaos. It became logistics and managing chaos. And then truly it was. It was fatigue because it was so chaotic, because the enormity of the United States, because heavy travel every single day trying to get to the next state and then doing 14 plus hours of activity in the event and media and everything that surrounded it. It was exhausting, not just doing an Ironman a day, but just everything else around it. And so the it was exhausting, not just doing an Ironman a day, but just everything else around it. And so the 50 was chaos, confusion, fatigue and logistics.

James Lawrence: 49:58

And then the 100, just because, again, circumstances, lack of preparation, my fault, timing and everything I got injured and so it became like pain management and just sheer longevity of the project. You know, because the 50 is seven weeks, right, so that's a long time, but 14 weeks, and when you're broken, like I was broken by day five, I the swelling was incredible. I started to develop two stress fractures. I'm legit staring down like a double barrel shotgun, just with 95 more days to go going. I have no idea how. And so it just became this campaign, that dude.

James Lawrence: 50:41

The 100 felt like it was a decade long. It just felt so long because it wasn't as much of a physical demand. It just became mental because I was managing such a level of pain due to the injuries and so just being that dialed in mentally for that long period of time is just so grueling and such a demand. Like I had PTSD after the a hundred. Um uh, and because I you know, there was a bike crash in there, I got knocked unconscious, Um, I have multiple career concussions, I broke my back on day 59, cracked my L5 vertebrae in a crash and so, like, the pain was just incredible and it just seemed forever in the making. And so both projects, even though they were consecutive Ironman pursuits, were very different in scale and where the emphasis of pain or confusion came from.

Lachlan Stuart: 51:33

For people who are thinking that this is not healthy. What's your thoughts?

James Lawrence: 51:45

Oh, it's 10,000% not healthy, it's ridiculous. And yeah, we were incredibly out of balance in that time. But the whole concept and there's some guys talking about this too right now but the whole concept of family life balance, it doesn't exist. And in periods of your time, whether you're building a business or you're focusing on your family, like there's going to be ebbs and flows of in and out of balance. The problem is is people get out of balance and then they stay out of balance and that's where it becomes problematic. But for us it was just out of balance for short periods of time. But no, it's not healthy. And if people look at our career and they're looking at these key moments, they're like man, dude, has no balance and doesn't respect recovery. The reality is, our training philosophy has everything to do with recovery, my personal training.

James Lawrence: 52:26

I'm big on recovery. I mean, I do eight, nine hours of sleep a night. These guys that are that are preaching four hours of sleep, screw you. You're going to be, you're going to burn out and die. I don't care who you are. This is. There's a, there's a few that fuse is going to burn out. We prioritize sleep. I do. I have a hyperbaric chamber at my house. I do red light therapy, I do massage. I mean you name it, I prioritize it. I spend a lot of money on self-care. I mean it's the number one thing. We supplement, we eat. Well, there's just so many things that we do to prioritize health and recovery.

Lachlan Stuart: 53:07

How's your body holding up now? Are you back into training? Yes, we're actually coming up on the three-year anniversary of the start of the and recovery. How's your body holding up now, like are you back into?

James Lawrence: 53:13

training or are you? Yes, we're actually coming up on the three-year anniversary of the start of the 100. And it took me that long to recover, both physically and mentally. Um, my, my, my it. This is a this is another hour podcast. But, um, my brain got stuck in fight or flight. I couldn't get to parasympathetic and so I had to go to cognitive therapy to rewire the neurological pathways of my brain and retrain my brain.

James Lawrence: 53:38

But that's a whole that's incredibly important point is like I don't care what your past history is. Take the time, energy and effort to rewire, rethink, reprogram this guy. It's so important. And everybody has a financial plan, a physical plan, a nutrition plan. What's your mental game plan? What are you doing on a daily basis to strengthen your mind? If this is our most important asset, why are we doing nothing with it? And so I recently had a brain, a new brain scan done to where I went from having one of the worst brain scans that I've ever seen to having no signs of PTSD or concussions. And that's because of two years worth of work on my mental game plan and I'm finally to the point now where I feel totally normal. I'm completely invigorated, I'm fired up every single day when I wake up. I'm turning 48 this year and I'm going to do some physical things that are going to be PRs in my career over the next two years.

Lachlan Stuart: 54:34

When you're 48, you do not. For those who are watching on YouTube, you look like you're bloody 28, man Investing in the health. I'm a big fan of the red light therapy and those recovery protocols. But, James, for people who want to, you know, I want to respect your time. For people who have been inspired, they want to continue following your journey and they also want to see what other, I guess, life PRs you're going to hit over the next couple of years. Where can people find you?

James Lawrence: 54:59

Yeah, I'm most active on Instagram and Facebook. Iron Cowboy James is the handle. Everything is on our website, ironcowboycom. If you DM me, it's me or my daughter that are active in there every single day. We're both running our page. You can tune in to when the documentary is going to come out, when the book is going to come out. You can sign up for our retreats, our mastermind coaching, our triathlon and racing coaching. I mean, we do so much and we want to give back. We try to make everything super affordable. Those programs are not how I feed my family. I do that through my speaking, through corporations, and so we just want to really help people.

James Lawrence: 55:43

If I've learned anything as I've traveled around, I've been fortunate enough to speak on over 50 different countries around the world and everybody is just stuck. They're losing the conversations with themselves. In fact, the number one question I get is how do I become more mentally tough? And it's through having experiences. It's participating in life. It's about doing that so you can find your passion and get closer and closer to happiness, in fact, joy.

James Lawrence: 56:09

And in order to do that, you have to show up in life. You have to take accountability for where you're at. I said this in a podcast the other day and I'm like, if you don't like where you're at in life right now, it's your fault. And yes, life happens, situations happen that are outside of our control, but the number one thing we all have control of is how we react to what's happening to us. And the economic crash it happened. The pandemic it happened. Trauma it happens, but guess what?

James Lawrence: 56:37

I have personal experience that you can reverse, you can rewire, you can change the experiences that you have. The greatest gift that you can give to yourself right now is to forgive yourself. Figure out how to forgive yourself for the mistakes that you've made in the past and wake up every single day and understand that you have a blank sheet of paper in front of you. Every single day. You can be and create whoever you want to be. If you're an adult, guess what? You can do whatever you want, especially if you live in the United States. Nobody's putting any limitations on you. You can go, do and be whoever the freak you want, and so if you're not doing or being that person, that's on you.

Lachlan Stuart: 57:13

Iron Cowboy everybody. I'll have all the links in the show notes and definitely check out the retreats. I'm going to look at the San Diego one for sure. I'll be back in the country, so I'm pumped about that, Mate. This has been a really inspiring conversation. I'm glad we got to make it happen.

James Lawrence: 57:28

Awesome man, Thank you.