You have achieved all your goals... now what? (I need more) #590

Imagine achieving all your major life goals, only to be haunted by the fear of regret. This episode unpacks that profound worry by exploring how unfulfilled ambitions in career, education, finances, relationships, and health can cast long shadows on our lives. Drawing inspiration from Bronnie Ware's "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying," we highlight the pitfalls of overworking, bottling up feelings, and neglecting to find joy. We reinforce the necessity of having a clear vision that aligns both personal and professional aspirations, encouraging the creation of a life resume or bucket list to ward off regret and foster continuous growth.

Transitioning from theory to practice, we delve into the transformative power of intertwining work with life and the importance of commemorating personal milestones. I share my journey of building a business that mirrors my values, resulting in a life rich with travel, meaningful work, and deep relationships. We emphasize the underrated value of a "reverse bucket list" to appreciate past accomplishments and practice gratitude. By integrating simple habits like journaling, photography, vlogging, and podcasting, we can enhance our presence and savor life's journey. Don’t miss our upcoming live intake session, an opportunity to engage, ask questions, and share your personal stories of growth and achievement.

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https://www.themanthatcanproject.com/strong-men-of-value

Chapters

• 0:00 Building a Life's Resume
• 15:31 Building a Meaningful Life Legacy
• 23:00 Embracing Personal Growth and Achievement

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:38

Life's amazing. So what now? I want more. This week, I wanted to pull this apart because I had a conversation with a bloke who has a great income, an amazing family, his health's in good order, but he's feeling like he's not living up to his potential or it's not enough, and it made me start thinking more about this topic, like what's next once we achieve our vision? What is next once we achieve everything we've ever been working towards? The biggest thing that raised its head for me was that if we're not growing, we're dying, and so whenever we achieve outcomes, we always need that next goal, regardless of what phase or season of life we're in.

Speaker 1: 2:25

And regret there's a great quote by Sidney J Harris and it is regret for the things we did can be tempered by time. It is regret for the things that we did not do that is inconsolable inconsolable. So does living. A life of regret scare you? Regret is a profound emotion that touches nearly every facet of our lives, guiding our choices across our careers, our education, finances, relationships and health. Consider this 41 percent of professionals worldwide harbor regrets about their career paths, with many wishing that they'd taken the plunge to do something different earlier. According to a linkedin study, now. Similarly sorry tongue tied there. Similarly, I'm not even gonna get that word. A gullet poll shows that over half of Australians would redo key educational choices, and a bank rate study reveals that 73% lament their financial decisions particularly to the lack of foresight in retirement planning. So that gets me thinking about why it is so powerful to have not only your personal vision but tying your professional vision into that. What is your professional ambitions and goals setting you up to do in your personal life? It's something that I'm going to be guiding people through in our Focus Success System, which you can join the waitlist now. But on a personal note, about 18% of older adults report their biggest regrets stem from romantic relationships, as highlighted by a survey from the American Psychological Association. Now health-wise CDC points to regrets over lifestyle choices like smoking and poor diet that impact long-term health. These statistics aren't just numbers, guys. They're like a mirror, reflecting the significant, sometimes harsh, lessons of our choices or consequences of our choices. Yet in every regret lies lessons in making more informed, conscious decisions that pave a way for growth and better outcomes.

Speaker 1: 4:45

I found myself in a place where the fear of regretting decisions had more influence over what I did than living life itself. I believe it's because the older I get, the more responsibilities I'm taking on, and I tend to recognize that I'm recognizing time more now than I did when I was younger. I said goodbye to playing rugby at 23. I've said goodbye to friends and I've said goodbye to dreams. I don't believe it's possible to die without some form of regret, but I do believe we have more control over the regrets that we do live with. And, as that beautiful Sydney Harold quote said, do the some regrets we can get over time, but the most inconsolable ones are the ones we regret not doing so. It's really about taking action and this is once again why, if you haven't created that life's vision, it's so important to do so. I'm not alone when I know I say I've experienced regret and I do experience regret.

Speaker 1: 5:53

Bronnie Waugh, a palliative care nurse, wrote a book on the topic, the Top Five Regrets of the Dying, and I would highly, highly, highly recommend reading this book to give you some incredible insights on life. But she compiled insights into the most common regrets of the dying. Among the top were wishing they hadn't worked so hard can relate. Wishing they had the courage to express their feelings can relate. And wishing they had let themselves be happier can also relate. Wishing they had let themselves be happier can also relate. When I was reading this, I resonated with all of the five of them, plus some more that they discuss.

Speaker 1: 6:30

I work hard, I struggle to express my feelings and I don't allow myself to be truly happy. I convinced myself I'll be happy when and I truly believe that it hasn't been until recently, when I moved to the United States, and not because I moved here, but it was the fact that I had to look at my life through a different lens that I recognized that, since I've been here, I've made some massive changes which I want to talk about and I believe a lot of you may be able to resonate with, or even the perspectives will help you start thinking differently. It's got me thinking massively. If regret is inevitable, what can I do to make sure that when my time is up, I'm not regretting what I didn't do? Society is hurting now. People are unhealthy. They're living week to week. They're lonely, unhappy.

Speaker 1: 7:22

As a personal goal, I want to make sure that I don't end up in this position, but as a professional goal, it's to make sure that others don't as well. So think about it. Successful people hire mentors and coaches to guide them for better results. So why wouldn't we listen to the studies of those who are on death's door to inform us on how to live a better quality of life and maybe point us in the direction of what is important? My goal in this episode is to empower you to build a great life's resume, enjoy the journey to your desired outcomes and document the journey. I hang around for that one. A lot of you may be going. Why would I want to document the journey? Trust me, life is too short. Steve Jobs said your time is limited. Don't waste it living someone else's life, and I want you to sit on that question. I want you to think about that question or that quote, and ask yourself this question the life that you're living currently, have you designed it or have you fallen into it? Something to think about.

Speaker 1: 8:31

A principle that I've embraced, to avoid future regret about what I didn't do, is crafting the life's resume, also known as ticking off the bucket list, right? We've all heard of the bucket lists. This isn't just any list, right? It's a personal catalog of dreams and milestones aimed to enrich the journey that we call life. It's about embracing the experiences that resonate deeply with your spirit, ensuring that you live life fully and create a tapestry of memories without regret, right?

Speaker 1: 9:01

The concept really clicked for me after learning about Jesse Itchler's approach to building a life's resume and for those of you who aren't familiar with Jesse, I stumbled across him when I read his book Living with a Seal, which is based around David Goggins. It's a wild book and a great laugh, but he's also written multiple things and really inspired me with how he lived his life. But essentially, he suggests marking something off your bucket list every two weeks. That's what he does, so adding up to six new experiences annually. It's a pretty straightforward yet profound strategy, inspired by Jesse and after chatting with Seb Terry, who I had on the podcast about two years ago and I'll link to the episode below who champions the hundred things philosophy, which is essentially having 100 things on your list to pursue in life.

Speaker 1: 9:55

You don't have to stick to the rigidity of the two-month rule though I find aiming for at least every quarter is more feasible but find something that's going to work for you. Remember that not every item has to be as monumental as attending, like the FIFA World Cup final, which is on my bucket list. I categorize my goals into three zones and maybe this is going to work well for you and it's something that helps you keep the momentum going. Number one, or zone one, is the pinnacle pursuits. So these are the epic quests, like witnessing the World Cup or experiencing the Northern Lights. They're dreams that demand significant effort and a bit of planning and a bit of fortune to offer these unforgettable memories. Zone two are the meaningful milestones, so these are substantial yet attainable goals, like running a marathon in a historic city or learning a new language, pushing your limits while being within reach. And zone three are your everyday escapades. So these are the simpler joys, like surfing at Burley Heads or mastering Italian cooking or focusing on life's daily pleasures. So to recap that zone one are your pinnacle pursuits, zone two are the meaningful milestones. Zone three are the everyday escapades, and we'll go through this in the focus success system. The structure eliminates excuses and really encourages actions.

Speaker 1: 11:24

So here's a glimpse into my current challenge. That is going to be properly announced, but since you guys listen to the podcast, get to hear it first. Announced, but since you guys listened to the podcast, get to hear it first. It's running a marathon in every state of the USA and every state of Australia over consecutive days, so it's going to be called the 58 to 58 project. It's not just about the physical challenge, though. It's about exploring the diverse landscapes and cultures and, yes, it's going to be as exhilarating as it sounds. I'm really, really excited for it.

Speaker 1: 11:55

But start crafting your own life's resume. What's the first experience that you'll chase? What's a pinnacle pursuit that you have A meaningful milestone in an everyday escapade? What is on that list for you? A great little hack if you're an Apple user or an iPhone user, sorry, go to your reminder section and you can actually build a bucket list in there and categorize it. So if you want to learn how to do that, I'll teach that in the Focus Success System. So it's on your phone, right? It's front of mind, but I highly recommend getting into doing that. But you will always hear me talk about planning, because if it's not written down with a deadline, it's never going to get done. Right, you are in control of your life's resume, so act on it. If you want support with this as I said, it's going to be happening in the Focus Success System you can join the waitlist on my Instagram, head over to the website or the link in the bio there.

Speaker 1: 12:55

But let's dive into the next, I guess, key point here Learn from others' regrets. So, diving back into the book by Bronnie Ware, in our rapidly advancing society, life seems increasingly complex. Unlike centuries ago, when the primary focuses were protection. Unlike centuries ago, when the primary focuses were protection, provision and procreation, today we're often swamped with building social followings, chasing relentless self-improvement, nurturing families and seeking global adventures. That our motivation to engage in these activities stems not from the activities themselves, but from what we believe they will provide us fulfillment, security, recognition To live a good life.

Speaker 1: 13:42

I personally champion simplicity. This means reducing our desires to their most basic why? Understanding deeply what we aim to achieve through our pursuits and what they truly mean to us. I firmly believe in the wisdom of learning from those who have gone before us. The old saying learn from your elders resonates profoundly when considering universal regrets highlighted in the top five regrets of the dying. The reoccurring themes across various people's lives has made me reflect. If these regrets are so common, they must hold the central truths about the human desires and missteps. So what can I do to sidestep these common regrets? I focus on prioritizing genuine relationships and personal well-being over societal expectations. By actively choosing experiences and setting goals that align with my deepest values, I aim to forge a path that hopefully leads me to fewer regrets.

Speaker 1: 14:49

What choices are you making today that ensures you don't harbor similar regrets? One of my personal challenges was the difficulty in expressing my feelings, particularly in telling my loved ones that I love them and what they meant to me. So for years I struggled to say I love you to my family members. It wasn't something that we did growing up. With encouragement from my wife, I finally broke through that barrier. The relief, the deep connection that followed were transformative. This breakthrough was a practical step in living a life without regrets, particularly the regret of not having expressed my feelings.

Speaker 1: 15:32

I've built a career around these choices, rather than letting my career dictate my life. One of the biggest realizations has been that in today's world, we can arrange our work around our life. It takes effort, but it is definitely achievable, especially if you find something you love and you build a community around it. That's what I've done. This is the foundation of the Focus Success System, which I'll be teaching soon. It's about identifying a viable option for building a BU business, a business that aligns with who you are and what you value. The reason I'm talking about this now, more than I ever have really, is that it profoundly changed my life. Having worked for myself for 10 years, I get to travel, do what I love with people that I cherish and impact other people's lives in a meaningful way, and I had a bit of a roadblock for a long time where I didn't want to talk about making money. I didn't want to talk about how I built my business, because I wanted to focus on helping men improve their quality of life. But what I've realized is one of the biggest influences on my life improving was building my own business. So that's why we're talking more about that now and that's why the Focus Success System will do that more.

Speaker 1: 16:47

So the final key point document the journey. If you're hesitant about documenting your life's milestones, consider this. While a bucket list propels us towards new experiences, documenting these achievements serves as a mirror reflecting on the journey. The reverse bucket list is what I like to call it A repository of all the remarkable things that you've accomplished, the adversity that you've overcome. It provides as a great source of reflection and the ability to practice gratitude. Life is full of changing seasons. What we can do today might not be possible in the future due to shifts in our health, financial status or family responsibilities. So keeping a documented record allows us to revisit these memories, appreciate our past adventures and maintain a sense of continuity and identity through all of life's transitions.

Speaker 1: 17:42

Documenting isn't just about preserving the memories. It's an active practice of gratitude. By recording our experiences, we not only cherish them more deeply, but we also create a legacy of accomplishment that can inspire and inform future generations. Think about it If you're like me and you watch people on YouTube or you've followed people's journeys as they tick off goals in their own lives, it's quite inspiring and you can do the exact same thing. And whether it's to inspire your family or whether it's to inspire the future generations that I mentioned, it's a really cool process to take part on and I do believe it makes you more present in the process of achieving goals and building other things that you want.

Speaker 1: 18:27

Now, at times, I struggle to document because my life seems mundane and routine easily takes over, and routine easily takes over. Recognizing this is, I guess, a cue for me to inject some spontaneity into my days. Documenting these moments reminds us that life isn't just about routine. It's about the unexpected joys, the things that go wrong and the spontaneous adventures. Over the years, I've documented my 12-week journey to a 10-kilometer time trial, a 5-kilometer time trial, 30 marathons in 30 days, my travels across various different countries and the processes of building my business, all of which show the ups and the downs of my life and something that I can watch back in the future. I was watching a video the other day after my first six months in network future. I was watching a video the other day after my first six months in network marketing, and I was six months in, but I was doing a video about how proud and excited I was about taking control of my financial future and building a business for myself. And I look back and I'm like dude, you were six months in, you hadn't even started, but at that moment in time I was so enthusiastic and pumped and I think being able to relive that is such a cool experience.

Speaker 1: 19:40

So when it comes to documenting, there are going to be many ways that you can do it. Choose what works best for you, whether it's journaling, taking photos, capturing videos or even vlogging or podcasting, even for that matter, like this, capturing videos or even vlogging or podcasting, even for that matter like this. Each method offers a unique lens through which to view and remember your life's journey. Personally, I've chosen podcasting, as you're listening to it now, and vlogging, if you're watching this on YouTube, because I love the idea of my children being able to watch and listen to aspects of my life if they choose to do so. This method not only preserves my memories, but also connects to the future generations that I've mentioned, and it's a great way to remind myself of how much progress I've made In making a habit of documenting.

Speaker 1: 20:28

Consider setting aside a few minutes each day or week to reflect on the record. We have the 12-week game plan within the academy, where you review daily and you review weekly, monthly and quarterly. It really keeps you present to the progress that you're making. The small investments of time can pay huge dividends in how you perceive and remember your life unfolding. After all, what do you have to lose? Stepping into new habits like documenting your life may feel uncomfortable at first, but embracing this document can transform you into a powerful tool for personal growth. So don't wait for someday. Start today and build a legacy of memories that you won't live with but will live on after you. Build a legacy of memories that you won't live with but will live on after you.

Speaker 1: 21:23

So these three key points that I've discussed, I've explored and dove it into, have reshaped the way that I live, moving me away from a life that waits for the weekends and the holidays to one full of intentional, fulfilling activities. It's clear that extraordinary changes aren't required to escape the grime. Simple, steady steps can lead to significant transformations. If I could offer a plan to my younger self, this is what it would be, and if you're listening along, either head over to my website and read this on the newsletter or take note of this now. But if I could offer a plan to my younger self, it would be this One build your bucket list Clearly.

Speaker 1: 21:59

Define what experiences and achievement you want to pursue. Number two, tick off one item every quarter or choose a timeframe that works for you. Commit to consistent, measurable progress and, finally, document the journey. Keep the visual or written records to capture these experiences. You're building your life's resume, which is going to be cool to reflect upon at some point, especially with the way that you know what's the apples, goggles and all of that sort of stuff. You'll be able to really relive it if you've documented it through video.

Speaker 1: 22:32

Life is designed not by just what we do, but how we feel about our actions. So, whether you're looking to overhaul your life or simply just enrich it further, these strategies are proven to make a meaningful difference. Right, they really have worked for me. I'm excited to offer a more in-depth guidance in the Focus Success System, which is coming up soon. Join the wait list to transform your approach to life and ensure you are living without regrets.

Speaker 1: 23:01

The first intake is going to be live. Right, I'm going to be doing it pretty much like this You'll be on video so you'll be able to see and ask questions. So make sure you get on the waitlist for that one to be notified when we're going live. Thank you for joining me for this week. If you got value, share it with someone you know you would benefit from it. Make sure you leave a rating review. It definitely helps the show and continues to inspire me to delivering content. If there are anything that you're struggling with or you're curious about, dm me on Instagram or send me an email at locky, at the man that can project, and I look forward to diving into those over the coming weeks. Until next week, start taking the steps that will add depth and joy to your personal life story. Do something today to be better for tomorrow.