Man That Can with Lachlan Stuart
Welcome to Man That Can with Lachlan Stuart—the podcast dedicated to empowering men to break through barriers and achieve their full potential.
Hosted by Lachlan Stuart, this show dives deep into the challenges men face, offering actionable insights, real-life stories, and expert advice. Whether you're focused on fitness, business, personal growth, or fatherhood, you'll find inspiration and tools here to help you rise above any challenge and become the man that can.
New episodes drop every Monday and Thursday. Tune in, get inspired, and start living the life you’ve always wanted.
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Man That Can with Lachlan Stuart
The SHOCKING Truth About Seizing Opportunity | John Butterworth #603
Mentioned On Today's Show:
🤝 Navigating Challenges and Finding Solutions
🤝 Chance Encounters and Gratitude for Opportunities
🤝 Faith Journey and Life Changes
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Do Something Today To Be Better For Tomorrow
Johnny, oh, my goodness Lucky.
Speaker 2:How are you, my friend?
Speaker 1:Man, I'm stoked. How are you? I'm so good.
Speaker 2:It's always good to see your shining face.
Speaker 1:Man, I love your enthusiasm and your energy and it was one of the things that I was going to kick the potty off with, but we had a little segue before and I had to just pause you for a second because I thought it'd be a great way to kick off the episode. For those who are tuning in, we've got John Butterworth on the show. If you're watching on YouTube, you'll check out his very smiley and big waves coming at you, but we connected your drumming for Shepard and dude. We've spent a lot of time on the road now. It's been awesome, fun and you are the most infectiously positive individual I've ever met, thank you. But one of the challenges with tour life is it's chaos, and we haven't had probably a because we're either. You're never wrecked, but I'm always pretty, pretty wrecked, so to like sit down and properly connect. So I feel like this is going to be a great opportunity to do that over the next hour or so, which we agreed agreed but dude, we're talking about posture.
Speaker 1:you were moving around the microphone, you were getting it set up and then then you're like dude, I've just become so obsessed with my posture. Yeah, give me the story.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I feel like I struggle with my posture, as I think we all do, and it's actually a quick little side story. But my wife has been going to a chiropractor um, for her like for her back and everything, and and I'm just learning that all of our spines are terrible, and like what we're doing with looking at our phones and looking down all the time and like you know, not walking with our shoulders back and, um, it's just like terrible for your, your back and your spine and we're like losing, losing curvature in our like in our neck and that's like horrible.
Speaker 2:So I'm trying to get better with I like sleep on a roll now like a tootsie roll thing yeah. And my wife is way better at than I am. I'll like I'll go to sleep on it, like on my back, and I'll'll wake up without remembering taking a pillow but I'll wake up with a pillow on my side, so you use a Tootsie Roll instead of a pillow. Yeah, because they say that it helps the curvature of your neck. Regain it, because we're all starting to get humps.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you see the people with the hump on the back of their neck. Yeah, and then I always think about it because obviously when you're on a phone you're looking down, but then when you have your head on a pillow, it's the same thing, it's pressing your head forward.
Speaker 1:Right, I was literally chatting with Kathleen the other day because I was talking about posture and I was like I know we're in a massage chair and I was like I wonder if you could just sleep like this, like it just feels like normal, because it has your body in the position it's supposed to be in right whereas a bed.
Speaker 1:It's like, you know, amy will throw a leg on me, or like I'll have a pillow between my legs, and it's like you're in a weird position for, you know, six to eight hours right, right, fascinating and elongated.
Speaker 2:I need to get a tootsie roll dude. It's crazy. So and, like um, it's just amazing because they they've done so many studies that talk about when you like, when, when you uh, when you lose the curvature of your neck, you are compressing um, uh, discs in and it like cuts off nerves to different organs and different parts of your body and that's why we get illness and that's why we get like disease which is insane.
Speaker 1:We're literally our own worst enemies. It's like through chasing comfort man. We're like killing ourselves in a slow death.
Speaker 2:But so the funny part was when I first moved to California, because I'm from Maine originally.
Speaker 1:That's up like for people who don't know the top, probably the most northern point of America, right, I think so, yeah, yeah, I think it's higher than Michigan and Oregon and like Seattle and all that. Yeah, let's just say yes for this story.
Speaker 2:But it's essentially Canada, like I'm essentially from canada, but maybe that's why I'm so nice, um, but uh, but, um, uh. So I, from there, went to school in boston, massachusetts, and then, uh, lived there for like 10 years and then lived in la for five years before moving to nashville. Um, and my first first year in California I worked at a drum company called DW and it was my one and only desk job and I remember sitting at a desk for eight hours a day, kind of thing, and I was slouching and I was starting to feel it in my back and all that. And I was slouching, uh, and I was, like you know, starting to feel on my back and all that, and I was like I know I'm not supposed to but, I can't help it.
Speaker 2:And so what I did was um, I went to the warehouse where all the drums are being made and I grabbed a drum stool and I used that instead of a desk chair, because I just instinctually sit up straight on a drum stool because I've been playing for so long. I just, I just instinctually sit up straight on a drum stool because I've been playing for so long. I just I know that's what you do on a drum seat, is you sit?
Speaker 1:upright Great posture.
Speaker 2:So I have horrible posture everywhere else, but when I sit on a drum, throne.
Speaker 1:Dude, I should take the back off that chair just to make sure. Well, it's probably true, right? Like I know, a lot of workplaces are injured. Actually, that's a lie, I don't know they are, but I have seen uh research around sitting on bose balls, like those round gym balls but for that same reason, you have to engage your core.
Speaker 1:Sit up tall, yeah, if you slouch, it's very uncomfortable, yeah, and so there's probably a method to that, and I think even there's the introduction of the standing desks now right so if you you know you're sitting and your back starting to get sore, it's probably a good indicator to get up and stand up and walk around right rather than just going, I need to push through this and hurt my back and my hips well, and our and our bodies tell us so many things right, and we should listen.
Speaker 2:And I don't, like my wife is so good at she'll wake up every day and do like a mental check and it's like, oh, like my neck feels weird or like, oh man, like I must have slept my arm wrong because it whatever. And she does that pretty much every day and in my mind I'm like I mean, yeah, my back is right for like seven years, but that's life man, that's aging it's, but it's challenging that narrative.
Speaker 1:I'm very similar where I never I used to just punish myself, whether it was on the booze, on partying and same with fitness as well.
Speaker 1:Like I just punished myself. And I remember when I got to 27 roughly, I was doing hardcore training and I was just sore all the time and I was losing mobility. I'm like, man, I need to start training. And my best buddy, bradley he's three years younger than me and he would would get to the gym at the same time. He would just start ripping in and I'd be doing a 20-30 minute warm-up and he's like what are you doing? I'm like, bro, the body doesn't move how it once did. And now he's like you know, obviously he hit that age as well. And he's like I get it. I like have to take preparation.
Speaker 1:But what that then taught me for all areas of life is like okay, well, if I now need to slow down, we're speaking about it on the balcony. Slow down to speed up, to perform better or get better output, right reflection or doing a body check, is exactly that. It's like wow, how did my body feel? How does my mind feel? How excited am I about the day ahead or the week ahead? And if you're getting answers that aren't that great, maybe we want to start looking at how can we improve things. That's how? Because one thing you said, dude, in one of your interviews and we let's just segue here because we will come back to your story, but this is on. I read it on your article with the Nashville Voyager oh yeah, that's right. You said we always have something to accomplish, something to celebrate and be thankful for and something to learn. Can we unpack that man?
Speaker 2:Absolutely yes, that.
Speaker 1:I feel like ties into what we were just talking about.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. And actually this is another really good segue I had a really interesting awakening when I moved to Nashville. When I moved to Nashville, so I was. I always tell people the addiction that I'll never get over and that I have to like, and I mean never, say never right Honest.
Speaker 2:The addiction that, if it's left unchecked, I think I will always fall back into, is addiction to work. I love working. I find a lot of purpose in it, and I remember one time when I was in LA, I was talking to a buddy because I had done two gigs already that day and I was at my third and then I was headed to a fourth. Um, and they weren't glamorous either. It was like I played at a theme park.
Speaker 2:I uh did like a jazz cocktail thing, um, for a corporate event, and then I played in this like company battle of the bands, and a buddy of mine hired me for it, and then I was headed to go host karaoke, right, so like nothing, like I'm not playing for Ed Sheeran or shepherd or anyone crazy, but I was. So I was leaving my buddy who was just kind of hanging out. He was done for the night and he's playing guitar, and I told him I was leaving to go do something else, and he goes, he goes, okay, so when, when is it ever enough? Like, when have you? When can you say at the end of the day, like I've, I've, I've put in a good day's work, uh, and at that time my answer was like never, I, I, I would continue to work and and um, regardless, talking about our bodies, regardless of it if it was killing me or not, right Cause I was like heavily.
Speaker 2:You know, I was waking up by drinking coffee and I was loosening up with booze, so it's like, and then sprinkling water in there every now and again when, like, the room spun because I was so dehydrated.
Speaker 2:As we take this is very good coffee, by the way. Thank you, man. Plunges at its finest, um. But so when I moved to to nashville, um, I got, um it was. It was really fascinating. But I mean, I moved here for my wife and she's lived here for 13 years. But I moved here and I'd gotten an offer to play for a country band and I've never been like a huge country band Get out my wife.
Speaker 2:But meaning, and it all stems from um comfortability, right and like. I didn't grow up listening to country music, so um stepping in on a gig and playing covers, people would be like, oh you know this song from merle haggard and I'd be like I, I don't like I've never heard this I can. You know, I can play for you earthman and fire's catalog. Or, you know, I can play for you Earth, wind and Fire's catalog, or you know, like Tom Petty yeah exactly.
Speaker 2:But like so it came from, just like a place of frustration for me, just because it didn't come easy to me.
Speaker 2:But so I'm playing for this country artist and I'll always be grateful for him because he got me to Nashville, essentially like it was a salaried touring job. Um, we were playing covers essentially like all across America and like wow, joe's Bar and Grill and whatever you know, but it was 50 weeks a year. We were out Wednesday to sunday and then back, so it was crazy. Um, my problem was I didn't like the music that we were. I didn't like the music that we were playing and, um, it was hard because I like I would listen to a song that I had to learn, like a cover whatever, and I could barely get through the song because I just didn't like it. And so it was on me that I didn't put the work in to just learn it, no matter what, because it was my job.
Speaker 1:But there's something to that right, I feel like music as well as subjective. That's what I was saying to George the other day. It's like they put their heart and soul into this album and then the charts turn it into a competition. It's not like sport, where there's one specific outcome 100% Whereas music is so subjective. Yep, and I guess even for you like, if you don't like country music, you don't like country music, which is fine, but then pushing yourself to try and learn if you don't like country music, you don't like country music, which is fine, but then pushing yourself to try and learn something you don't like is probably like school for most people, right?
Speaker 2:And you don't do well. Well, so what happened was I found myself playing on Broadway when we were in town, and I remember one specific night I was just playing, wasn't having a good time, was probably, you know, sipping on a whiskey because I was dysfunctional and avoiding my problems.
Speaker 2:And I remember looking around and the people playing after us, the people playing before us realizing how many amazing musicians are in this town, Like drummers who will play circles around me, and what I was doing was essentially their dream, Like I was playing. I was making a living playing country music and there are so many musicians who move here to be country musicians and I was like, what am I doing? I'm stealing someone's dream for something that I hate. And I thought about if someone were to take my dream gig like or something that I loved, you know, pop music, running Ableton is like my thing.
Speaker 1:That's where I thrive.
Speaker 2:And if I running Ableton is like my thing, that's where I thrive, and if I knew of someone who had a gig like that and they hated it, I'd be like, well, dude, just stop then so I can do it. Yeah, give me the job, right? So what was I doing? I was stealing someone else's dream and blessing and what they've been praying for and whatever you believe. I was taking that from them. So for me to step down and say I'm not going to do this anymore, I'm only going to play music, I like um, opens up the universe, the world, for other people's dreams, and then it opens me up for my dream too it's pretty ballsy.
Speaker 1:Oh, you just sort of answered the question I was going to ask like it definitely opens you up. It's very tough in the moment whether, when it's your livelihood right like, yep, uh, you and brit were together then yeah, yeah, awesome.
Speaker 2:So it's like you just engaged actually oh man.
Speaker 1:So, like the, the pressure right of thinking about family and, uh, wanting to be able to travel and and pay for a wedding and do all these sorts of things then falls on top of it and that can be a reason why people don't make the change, even though they know they should right. So what was it that you feel really pushed you to step back? I know because, once again to the point of people know that if we stop doing and we were talking about this before it's like for me, even less is more when you can do it better. So stepping back to go okay, I'm going to take a hit financially I may not get a gig for X amount of time, like nothing's guaranteed. Just because I step down doesn't mean my dream job's going to fall in my hand.
Speaker 2:It's not right there. Yeah, it's not like hanging there.
Speaker 1:Right, and you've now got the added responsibilities that come with marriage and all of that sort of stuff. What sort?
Speaker 2:of guided you through that. I think one thing that my wife has always said and I really love is she said to me she goes, I want you to realize your dreams, if you want a tour, if you want to do these things. I'm going to miss you, but that's awesome. She goes. The second that you take a gig that you don't like and then you're gone because you're playing that gig that you don't like, then we have a problem because then you're gone and you're not even happy about it, right. So so, um, she was like at that point, I'd rather you just get a job doing something else.
Speaker 2:Uh, and and that really really, really stuck with me, um, I was also very, uh, floored by kind of the general um, uh, mindset in Nashville, mindset in Nashville which I haven't really seen anywhere else, which is people kind of respect the hustle of like you do what you have to do, yeah. So I remember when I was in LA, the question that people would ask to fish to see if you were good enough to play for them would be do you play music full time? And the answer was, if it was yes, that meant that you were like great and we'll hire you, whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but if you said no when you had a side hustle, if you're a barista or worked at a drum company, like I did, I watched people's interest fade, and it was the idea that, like oh, I watched people's interest fade. And it was the idea that, like oh, then you're probably not good enough. If you're not good enough to play music full time and pay your bills doing it, then you're probably not good enough. So I'm just not going to hire you.
Speaker 1:It's so interesting with that vetting process Because at some point someone new to town has to survive. You have to have something else.
Speaker 1:Unless you've got, survive you have to have something else unless you've got, like, trust fund money or something else behind you, or you've saved up a bucket load right, but you have to have something behind you to to do that. So I can't imagine the amount of incredibly like this town is full of talented musicians that are getting overlooked because it's like oh yeah, I'm still working at a barista, but I'm still drum 10 hours a day.
Speaker 2:Right, Like well, so that the the interesting part about that was I I saw a lot of my uh, new acquaintances, like new friends uh, who played for like pretty big artists Uh, and when they were in town they were working at a barista parlor or they were, you know, doing construction or building furniture or whatever, and it was kind of it was the realization that everyone needs a job and like, if you don't wrap up your identity in what you do, it makes it a lot easier to provide. And I remember one night, um, I had done that, I'd taken a step back from country music and, you know, funds were running a little low.
Speaker 2:I was getting that stress you know and um and uh, because I I learned that I was moving to nashville a month before I moved um which is crazy.
Speaker 1:It was a quick turnaround.
Speaker 2:Um, so, uh, I'm. I remember talking to my wife and and she was like well, I mean, you know, gigs are a little slow. They will pick up. She was like, but they're a little slow, um, you should go like get a job, like figure out something you enjoy and do that in the meantime. And I was like no, I mean like music will pick up, don't worry. And she was like no, like you should be looking like getting a job.
Speaker 2:And I was like no, no, it'll be fine. Like music's gonna pick up, like people will start calling. She was like, no, really, go get a job. And so I did and I worked at a, a boot company in the gulch over here for about six months before covid shut it down, and uh, I'm not crazy though, but what do you feel your resistance to it was?
Speaker 1:Was it the belief that you thought the next job was around the corner, or was it that you felt it was not aligned with where you wanted to go and who you wanted to be? It was my pride for sure.
Speaker 2:It was for my entire life. I started playing drums when I was two, so my entire life has been oh, I'm John the drummer. So my entire life has been oh, I'm John the drummer. And it really isn't until the past four years that I've started unraveling that of like, even if I never play drums again, I'm still John and I'm still going to be joyful and I'm still going to be happy to be here, because we're not here, we're not boiled down to like what we do.
Speaker 1:It's an extension.
Speaker 2:Exactly it's an extension of and and in that when you find what you love to do, um, it's because it awakens something in you and it's like you can use your purpose in life, what your soul loves doing. You can use the jobs that you decide you love to do to change the world and change people's lives.
Speaker 1:It really pulls the best out of you too, right? I think that's why we do have such an attachment. It was like me with rugby, or even me with business, sure you with drums.
Speaker 1:It excites you and you know what is possible and you're so committed to achieving it, which then puts you in a position when problems arise, you're willing to do whatever it takes when tough conversations need to be had or when you need to acknowledge like parts of the story you were saying I was like it's ticking all the boxes right, to step down and not do something that may be in the ballpark of what you love doing, but pivoting to what's more fulfilling from the country music and stepping back Like that takes balls and a lot of people wouldn't do that. But because you knew you wanted to drum, you knew genuinely sorry, authentically, like the kind of music set you like you stood back to be able to do that which is probably going to make well, it is making you a better drummer and musician and everything.
Speaker 1:And then it pulls everything else forward. Right, it's easier to be happy when things are going well, like you can make time for more things, when I guess you hit a flow state. Right, when you figure out that for me it's like podcast, like it's easy yeah. I don't prep. I do prep, but not too much, because I'm just genuinely curious and I love learning. But if it's other things it's like pushing shit uphill. I'm like I probably don't need to do that. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:So I think, yeah, anything that you're, I'll share this. So there was a time in my life that I actually I watched. It's embarrassing. I watched this Bob Marley documentary called Marley.
Speaker 1:Is it the new?
Speaker 2:one it was. I saw this probably back in 2013.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it's not the one that was at the cinema like six months ago or whatever. I don't think so.
Speaker 2:No, Because that was like newly made, yeah, yeah, okay, cool. But this one it was amazing, it blew my mind and like just to see what he did for people and and how he cared and how he, um, just sat with people, which is something that I really try hard to do. Um cause I'm I'm a pretty energetic person. I find like sometimes I get a little too puppy doggy and I get like whipped up and like.
Speaker 1:And then I'm like how did I get here?
Speaker 2:Like you know where's my wife? I think I lost her like 10 minutes ago. You know what I mean. Like what did I just say, you know? But he had an ability to just bring people together and I loved it. And I loved one of his philosophies, which is a Rastafarian philosophy.
Speaker 2:Is the idea that which is a Rastafarian philosophy is the idea that and I'm probably butchering this, but it was the idea that, um, only you can get yourself out of your circumstances and like it's the whole, like pull yourself up by your bootstraps, kind of thing, and if you're unhappy, then do something about it. Right, cause that's all we can do. It's so easy to take the victim mentality of like, well, this, right, because that's all we can do. It's so easy to take the victim mentality of like, well, this is the cards I've been dealt, or, oh well, I have to be doing this, because how else am I going to make money or whatever? Um, or I was born into this, or whatever. It's like no, we, we, we can do something about that if we're unhappy. And the end of that story was I thought I was like, oh, maybe I should become, like maybe I should become a practicing Rastafarian, like that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2:And then I'm like looking into the requirements and one was like this is back in my early 20s, I was very much enjoying the booze and one of them was like booze is the way that the white man keeps people down because, like you know, they're like, some like submissive yeah so like you can't drink booze and like smoking a ton of weed like enlightens you, and I was like okay, I don't substitute the booze for the joint nice and I was like I don't know about that, but okay, I'll keep reading science, and then another one was um that, uh, the white man is the devil and I was like I don't think I can combine this something that's maybe not.
Speaker 2:I feel like but, um, but, but, but that, um. And I know that religion is beautiful and I'm not. I'm just joking, joking around, but that principle really stuck with me. If you're not happy, you can do something about this.
Speaker 1:I think all religions or ways of life any individual can take pros from and also cons from.
Speaker 2:And I think.
Speaker 1:What makes us completely unique is deciding which ones we want to take and, obviously, thinking about is this going to impact my life?
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I spoke about this, like, obviously, a lot of the Americans that I am now buddies with and have had on the show talk a lot about religion, and for me personally and we spoke about this in the car- Bible Belt right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's like something that's so foreign to me. I've never haven't grown up with religion. Uh, it's not something that I practice. However, I've mentioned like I watch um preachers on youtube. The reason being is I wanted to get better at public speaking and preachers are pretty good at that, they're awesome. So I watch like their mannerisms, how they hook people with what they say, how they raise the room and energy and make people feel valued, and so, for me, that element of religion is valuable to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's not changing the fact that you know I don't have a Bible or I don't do any of that sort of thing, but that to me is valuable and a lot of the messaging I can get behind, and I think we spoke about it in the car. I've definitely spoken about it. There's a lot of principles that are black or white and because of that, I like personally, as an individual, I like certainty, because it's like if.
Speaker 1:I do this. This is that If I do this, that outcome happens 100% and it just makes it easier for me to live my life. Now, there's a lot of gray areas with things, and I feel that's where it's confusing, and I feel the world at the moment is experiencing a lot of gray areas. Hence, the amount of chaos and right people at each other's throats, which isn't peace, because I think, at the end of the day, we all want to live a good life and our idea of that may vary, but we're the same thing, right?
Speaker 1:we want. We want peace, happiness, love. So I guess, to swing it back around, it's like there's definitely things that people can take from religions, regardless of what it is, and there's things that maybe you disagree with it. But it doesn't mean you need to belittle someone's belief or opinion, unless they're physically hurting people.
Speaker 2:Then there's a problem.
Speaker 1:Then there's a fucking problem.
Speaker 2:Well, and I heard this one time from a pastor and a preacher and I loved it.
Speaker 1:They said people just want to feel valued.
Speaker 2:And there's a Christian principle that is love your neighbor like you love yourself. And that's a lot harder to do than sounds right. First of all, a lot of people and I've been there too a lot of people don't love themselves.
Speaker 1:I was going to touch on that, but yeah, we're flow state right now.
Speaker 2:There's people that I can do that because I hate myself, so it's easy to hate people, you know. But I and um, it's something that I'm working on right now. Actually, I am, I'll always be, working out.
Speaker 2:I don't think it's ever possible to not but um, like when, when they say your neighbor, it doesn't mean like you know your brother-in-law or your sister-in-law right like it's not your physical neighbors, or bernadette, or whatever um, it's everybody, and so when, when someone is flipping you off because you cut them off in traffic, or, um, whether someone's you know yelling at you because you're in the bike path in New York and you know, whatever, um, loving them and and, and the thing that I'm working on right now is getting to the point where, if someone is aggressive towards me or says something that I don't like, and I get that like pit in my stomach, that fight or flight kind of um um, instead of feeling that, going straight to oh, what are they going through right now that they're responding like this?
Speaker 2:you know, and it's cause I mean I don't think anyone has ever gotten saved. I mean, I guess never say never, but like I don't know if anyone's ever gotten saved, because they were walking through Vegas and there was a dude on a soapbox screaming at them saying that they're going to hell that's not helpful.
Speaker 1:Like hasn't convinced me yet that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:I mean, like I, it happened to my wife one time and she's been a Christian her whole life and there was someone from the whatever Westboro Baptist or whatever yelling at her saying that she was a sinner and she was going to hell. And she was like you don't even know me.
Speaker 1:What are you?
Speaker 2:talking about. So it's. We can do so much harm by assuming right, and instead we should be asking questions.
Speaker 1:It's, it's going back to the developing, those things like not being a victim. And do you know what I just realized? I hadn't turned the lights on.
Speaker 2:Oh man, I was looking at it. I was like that looks, are we dark, are we very? Are we looking extra tan? I still, I still checked. Are we looking extra tan? I still checked you look good, I'm probably a bit dark Do you want me to turn the?
Speaker 1:light on. Yeah, I might pull that one out too, I got you, we'll have a quick intermission. One or two, two, I think it is Boom.
Speaker 2:One of them works well, man there we go oh yeah, this is nice, I feel like I'm how I feel like I'm. How did that feel? That's all right, your piggies yeah.
Speaker 1:Anyway, we're back with new lights. If you're watching on YouTube, you're most welcome. I was sitting there and I was like why is it so dark? And then I was staring at the light for about five minutes before it registered that it wasn't on. Awesome, crazy, awesome, crazy, awesome. But back to where we were before. We took an ad break. No, took a light break. The idea of not being a victim. It's very easy to be a victim and it's very easy to blame others. That's essentially what being a victim is right.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So how do we get better at seeking to understand what people are going through and most people I know from my experience? I've read multiple books on it and it's something I aim to improve on, but I always find myself where I'll be judging people or criticizing people.
Speaker 1:Sure same and I'm aware of that. I'm like, dude, what are you doing? You know what you're doing and it's not helpful to anyone, but you're not putting your feet in their shoes right, like to understand, and I think it has to be a practice, like if you want to get really good at it. It's once again, I think, why reflection is so good, because you can actually think about it's like a question that if it's something that you are terrible at and you want to get better, meaning you want to take responsibility and not being at the effect of how other people treat you or even how other people live.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, start with a question. It's like how have I been treating people lately, or how have I let other people make me feel lately? Because how you choose to feel by other people is completely your responsibility. Because when, when people go, oh, they made me feel sad or they made me feel in fear, it's like let's take back control. That's so good, and so I think, going back to how do we overcome this victim mentality is everyone's problems are unique. Everyone's going through different things. Cool, yep. What can you do? What do you need to understand? What can you practice?
Speaker 1:that is going to help you become better and with it, I guess, also letting go of the fact that we're never going to be perfect either. So don't don't strive for perfection, right, just be better there, there, just be better.
Speaker 2:Well, simple, my one of my favorite things. Um, it was actually really cool because I got to see this guy when we were in New York, but I had an old musical director for the first wedding band I ever played in in Boston.
Speaker 1:That's awesome.
Speaker 2:Which was pretty cool, and he told me he goes. He would always say I'll never get mad if you make a mistake. But if you make the same mistake twice, then I start getting upset. And I love that because we learn so much more. Know our butts handed to us left and right or you can't do this right or you feel like you're failing here.
Speaker 1:You learn so much because you have to to stay afloat some people don't, though, as well Like I think, when people right Cause I agree with your point 100%. But I also know so many people who are wallowing in the mud, right, and they don't want to be there, but they're really struggling to let's just say they've got mud in their eyes and they can't see properly. Nice, Because I remember when I hit rock bottom and people experience this and everyone goes through it and everyone's like what's that rock bottom moment where you feel like it couldn't get any worse and the chances are it can get fucking worse, you can always well, because you could die literally so are you prepared to use this painful moment as the I guess, uh, double bounce off a trampoline to get you out of there?
Speaker 1:because I my rock bottom moment I wouldn't say was the dead set worst, but I'd had about 15 wake up calls prior that I just chosen not to do anything different about, right, and so when we're sitting, sitting down in that position, we can stay there, and that's the unfortunate thing. So then, looking at what could be that thing to get myself out of it, and that's where, wow, I guess what we're talking about on the balcony, um, or the patio how do you call that a patio balcony?
Speaker 2:I think balcony is good because we're raised. There's so many different things around here.
Speaker 1:If we're on the floor, I feel like it wouldn't be a balcony but done perfect patio just so people can visualize it, so they know where we are um, but from that point, like everyone, can find themselves in a sticky situation, right, and it's all relative. So the current sticky situation that I've found myself in, which I'm documenting the way out and we briefly spoke about it a lot of my revenue comes from working with people one-on-one, and then I also have an academy, so it's a do do it with your program and or done for you with with those businesses, right. So it's great, money, awesome, but very hands-on.
Speaker 1:When we were on the road touring, right, there was so many spots and times where we didn't have wi-fi, which meant I had to push calls or the um. You know the chaos of the scheduling. It's like we're setting up stage, packing it down, so I'd be overwhelmed, I hadn't prepped for calls, etc. So it was a shit show essentially, and rather than going, oh man, I just have to give this up or I have to not go on tour, which is what I did, you know, a decade ago with with amy. I've committed to wanting to experience this.
Speaker 1:Why I'm here, so pivoting to going okay. Well, the biggest problem I have is the uncertainty around routine, because of the touring. The problem as a result of that is, it's not delivering a great customer or client experience, which is going to lose me business and damage my reputation, right, which means no money, right?
Speaker 1:So in order to solve that problem, it's like what's the goal? The goal is to be able to earn money, deliver a great result, outcome, customer experience, but do it in a way where I don't need to be there now because too many things, that there's too many variables, right, and so people can relate to that. I hope, through the fact that we have an idea of where we want to be, we know what we need to do in order to deliver that and we just need to work out what the specific method or vehicle is to achieve that, based on our lifestyle yeah so.
Speaker 1:So, for example, if you're someone listening to this and whether you're male or female it doesn't matter and you're the breadwinner, sure, and you know you want to be there for your family emotionally and actually be there, not just financially.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:But some of the trade-offs that you're experiencing is you're having to work long hours, you're having to go to work meetings and you're missing out on sports carnivals, you're missing out on the date nights, and that's eating you up, right? What are you going to do? Do you sit there and go? Oh, that's my reality. That sucks. I'm gonna watch my, you know, watch divorce come upon me. I'm gonna watch my children grow up and and be resentful that I'm the one at work right or you're gonna do something about it, and that then starts with going.
Speaker 1:What is not working, wow, like yes can I learn to be more efficient in my workday? I've got eight hours. Do I need to do long lunches? Do I need to um how many things on my book don't actually need to be done? And like how do I become more efficient, more focused, more productive so that I can get out of work at five? When I said I would Wow. And that is a different example of my own story, where it's like I know what I want to achieve, I know how I need to achieve it and I know the problems that are holding me back, so here's what I've now created, and it's not fun having to pivot.
Speaker 1:However, it's moving me closer to where I want to get to Right. Did that make sense?
Speaker 2:Dude, 1 million percent, and I have so much respect for that because, um, if left unchecked, I am a avoider to a T? Um and if you know, if anyone listening does the Enneagram thing, I'm alsoa nine, which is like the peacemaker, and I just want everyone to be happy. And the juxtaposition that comes with that is, um, if I'm doing something and it's not working, I'll still, I'll just avoid thinking about it because it's scary, I just work harder. But then that doesn't make anyone happy, because now I'm doing a crappy job at everything because I'm stretching myself too thin, and then no one's happy with me, I'm not happy with me, and usually that comes to a head with like a breakdown kind of thing.
Speaker 2:Um, so I'm learning to be more like you, essentially, uh and and face our problems head on, because they can only, they can only get worse if we don't look at them Right, like if you, if you were just like fine, I'm just going to continue on this, this path, because it's it's been working, and I'm going to, you know, push calls back and not be prepared. And then you know you're going to have your, your family and everyone on the road upset because they're like, oh, where, where did Lockie go and then you're going to have people on the calls being like dude. You said you were going to be on 10 minutes ago you know, yeah, and it's like no, no one's happy and so good.
Speaker 2:good for you for.
Speaker 1:But it's that less is more when done better.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:In the beginning, what we lack in skill and understanding and efficiency or systemization we make up for in time.
Speaker 1:However, if we always just use time and don't develop systems, routines, habits, boundaries, we're going to continue getting more of the same, with less of the things that are important to us. And for me, it's like I look at the buckets of my life, or even the values that I have, which is family connection, health, adventure and freedom, and every decision that I make has to tick those boxes, and it makes it very easy for me to make decisions, because if it's a no, why would I do it?
Speaker 1:Because I'm only going to find myself upset at some point, and a lot of people aren't thinking about that with their decision making. So, they're always looking outside themselves for that, and I did that, dude. I'm still guilty. Once again, I'm not perfect with this.
Speaker 2:But you know, you have the template though.
Speaker 1:Correct. So when I'm feeling unfulfilled or life's not going to plan, it's like, generally, something's missing and, to be completely honest, the thing that always goes most out of all of them is adventure, because it's like much to your point I love working and I love growing and I love progress, but growth and progress still comes through adventure. I just forget that because it's not like on my balance sheet, you know, right, um, and for people to be able to start thinking about that it's going okay. Well, what? What do I really value? Where can I put my time to do that?
Speaker 1:And can I accept in the beginning that I will have to devote a fair bit of time to get this thing off the ground, whatever it is, whether it's a new business, whether it's a new. It's why the honeymoon phase happens in a relationship or moving to a new town, like when you move to Nashville. It's like you've got to get in and amongst the community to find out where you're going to fit in and find the opportunity. But over time you build the network, you build the things that allow you to step back and then go. Okay, I need to give time to my wife now.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I need to give time to my health in order to be able to make consistent progress.
Speaker 2:I heard something one time and I loved this. The person said as time goes on, we forget the past Like we forget things in our past. Right, we can't foresee the future, you know, and we often can't make sense of the present, and so something that I I really um, this is kind of an heavier. Have you ever seen the movie I love you, man? I have, with Jason Siegel and Paul Rudd? He said something that I absolutely loved. He goes trying is doing with the intention to fail.
Speaker 1:Oh Right, that is the old Movie wisdoms.
Speaker 2:So I always the reason I hesitated. Can you repeat?
Speaker 1:that again Sure.
Speaker 2:Trying is doing with the intention to fail. So the reason why I paused just now was I was saying I'm trying to do this, but like no, I am doing it, I am making an active, I am in the process of forming the habit and the discipline to do this. Um, but just realizing that we have something awesome with every day, uh and I I personally don't believe in coincidences or luck Um, I think that everything happens for a reason, and I think that we are here, I am here talking with you right now for a very specific reason.
Speaker 2:Um, and this couldn't have not happened right like, like, and, and that breeds a lot of gratitude for me and a lot of excitement, because, um, I don't know if, if, uh, we've ever talked about the whole like shepherd story maybe that's for another podcast.
Speaker 1:Let's do it, okay. Really quick It'll be. It'll be super quick. You can take your time. I'm keen to hear Okay cool Cause I guarantee there's people that are like what's the story? What?
Speaker 2:is the story Tune in next week. Next week's episode is $50.
Speaker 1:It's a subscription only episode, just this one, no, so.
Speaker 2:So essentially I I met George through kind of like a, a Facebook group, like a, like a Craigslist, but for musicians it's called Yep, it's Young Entreprene, it's young entrepreneurial professionals for a national, and so people will go on there and post like I need a photographer for this shoot tomorrow, or whatever.
Speaker 1:I need a guitar player um, I need to get in that.
Speaker 2:It's pretty awesome um I'll I'll invite you to the group.
Speaker 2:That'd be sweet um and um and it's cool because you can, like you know, provide your, you can reach out and be like, hey, if anyone needs you know a trainer or whatever, and if anyone wants to come on my podcast, you know that kind of thing. And so I. I I just saw this ad, this thing, pop up and it said we're an Australian pop band just moved to Nashville. We need a drummer who can run tracks and a guitar player. And I was like, oh man, I do those things, not the guitar thing, but the drumming. I was like, oh, so I just kind of typed it out, sent it off, didn't think much of it, and then a couple days later George got back to me and was like hey he goes.
Speaker 2:We would like to have. We found a drummer for the showcase that we're we're doing, uh, but we would like to have like three drummers, like in the stable uh, in Nashville, for you know, in the wings, um, would you be willing? And I was like, yeah, that would be great. You know, Sure Um stuff you man.
Speaker 2:Oh, come on. But uh, and so, uh, and, and then a couple days later he actually reached out because he needed a guitar player for the preds game, and so I sent over my buddy, sean, and it was great, and I was like, oh, I get to help someone, that's great, um, and then I was like, hey, we should grab coffee. I'd love to meet you. He's like great and um, and so grab coffee with him. Lovely gentlemen, as you know. Um, and we just had a great time, and uh, and then he was like, yeah, you know, I'd love, love to have you on a gig sometime. I was like, great, that sounds awesome. So we leave, and, and I'm in my car and I'm like I should probably look up this band to figure out if I even like the music.
Speaker 1:Not damn country music Because.
Speaker 2:I've gotten myself in a lot of trouble. It was actually. There's only been one time I've actually had to back out of a gig because I said yes before listening and then I listened to it and I was like I can't do this Like I can't play this music.
Speaker 1:You probably don't see many country artists with pink hair, so you would say I think so. You never know these days, you never know true.
Speaker 2:And so I looked it up and I was like you know the monthly followers and listeners I was like in the millions and I was like who are these people?
Speaker 2:And then I saw the Geronimo thing and I was like, oh my gosh, it's this band. Like that's so cool. And then, you know, we hung out a couple more times and then they asked me to do the Vegas gig and I was like that'll be so good, literally a top core memory for the rest of my life. And my wife got to be there because y'all are so kind, and I asked if she could come and, and George, was like, oh, of course, she's awesome, she's awesome, she's way better than.
Speaker 2:I am, but I don't deserve her, but I got her.
Speaker 1:No, takesies backsies.
Speaker 2:Um, I always tell her that, um, but uh, I had a really crazy epiphany one day. Um, I was in in my car, uh car, after the Vegas thing had been planned and I was starting to learn the songs and I had, low-key, already learned the songs before he asked me to play the gig.
Speaker 1:I was ready for preparation dude.
Speaker 2:It's also a very unique position, I think, where you play for an artist that you love everything they do. I was. I was just listening to music because I love it and and I didn't realize how good all the songs were, um, until I like learned who shepherd was. I knew, I knew who the geronimo people were, but I knew who shepherd was. Um, and I was. But I was in my car and I had the epiphany um that when I first moved to LA, which is 2014,.
Speaker 2:I, um, I was like, cool, I'm here, I made it to LA, whatever that means. Now what do I do? Right, like I got to make money. How do I, you know, fulfill my dream or whatever, like why I moved here. And so I was playing the dumb game of like who would I want to play for, who would I want to tour with? And it seemed dumb to be like I want to play with Aerosmith, or, you know, I'd want to play for Genesis or, you know, like bands that already have drummers, that they've been, you know, acdc or whatever. So I was like that's stupid, I can't say that. And so, literally, I remember Geronimo coming on the radio and being like, honestly, I would love to play for this band.
Speaker 1:Are you kidding?
Speaker 2:10 years ago and I met y'all you beautiful people, the reason why I'm sitting here talking to you right now. I met them through a one-off random ad in nashville after I moved, being like, honestly, I'm getting married. Like you know, it's after a season that I actually gave up drumming for about six months, uh, and and taught.
Speaker 1:This is this past year I gave up drumming. Yeah, I taught.
Speaker 2:I taught high school theology for six months uh, dude, but but so, and this is after all that, and I'm just like that's so random but so awesome. And to me, I look at things like that and I look at I'm going off on a mild tangent but I look at things like that and I look at um where we are today and I I can't believe in randomism, if that's even a word it is right sounded so official that I was like that's going in my newsletter but like I I can't believe in that, because if it's all random and if it all is just complete chaos, then how did I meet someone from 10 years ago that I wanted to meet and I had given up on that because I had I'd forgot that y'all were from australia.
Speaker 2:But like I remember looking it up that day and being like, oh, they're in australia. Like I'm probably not gonna find myself there anytime soon, so like that's probably a random, a random random dream but, um, but it came true and like.
Speaker 2:so I look at that and I and I look at, um, the fact that I'm alive, you're alive. Uh, I have a roof over my head. Um, I've never been. I don't think I've ever died. Um, I don't. I've never been homeless, I've never had to skip a meal, which I know a lot of people can't say. So I count myself very fortunate, very blessed, but I see that and I see that. I take that information, I take the fact that I've been alive for 37 years without anything catastrophic happening and the fact that I'm okay today. Um, even if I lost, lost my house, I'd be okay today because I'm alive. Um, so why is tomorrow any different? Why is today any different? Why? You know what I mean? Um, yeah, and I'm sure people could find holes in that.
Speaker 1:But if you're going to search for holes, then you've got bigger issues.
Speaker 2:Right right.
Speaker 1:I feel like we're overcomplicating life because we are looking for the holes rather than if we simplified the outcomes we're looking for or the ability to get to the outcomes, the more likely we will do what is required to do that right.
Speaker 1:To be happy to enjoy the moment and to express gratitude. Okay, well, that's two things I've mentioned. Let's keep that simple rather than going I can't be happy because of this. This All right. Well, you're definitely not going to try and be happy, because you've got to overcome fucking 10 things you just listed off.
Speaker 2:Right. Well, and in that I mean aren't we always supposed to learn from history?
Speaker 1:We don't learn from history in our own self-happiness, because we look at all the times we've been happy and we're like, oh, I can't be happy now, though, like why not Like there were horrible things happening, I'm sure, in your life when you were the happiest.
Speaker 2:You just have blocked those things out because Focus man. And hindsight you look back and you're you're like, oh, that wasn't so bad, like okay, then why did I spend all that time worrying about it?
Speaker 1:it's you think. I don't know whether it's happened in your life, but whenever a funeral happens, sure people will go I'm gonna do things differently. Or a funeral, or like you have a health scare yourself, right, and so I'm gonna do things differently. I'm gonna start going to the gym, or I'm gonna I'm not gonna work 20 hour days, I'm gonna start living my life. I've been guilty of saying that so many times. Or like you catch up with your buddies at a wedding or a funeral.
Speaker 1:We need to do this more often, man, how good is it hanging out three years past and you still haven't done anything about it? And to me it's like the focus, like if you can simplify your life once again. Going back to those buckets or those values yeah, identify things that fulfill those values. You know I got a bucket list of shit that literally on my notes on my phone. But then I also know the people who are the most important to me and I have reminders in my phone to call them, to text them, because some people are like you have to set a reminder to that.
Speaker 1:I'm like well, yeah because life has a lot of things going on a lot. I don't want two years to pass before talking to you because I value our conversations, or I want to get through my bucket list because that's what life is. Wow, that's good. People overcomplicate it because it's easier to do Like you're putting space between the outcome that you want and where you are now. If you can remove the space, there's a greater likelihood that you're going to do what you need to do, wow.
Speaker 2:It's the procrastinating thing, right. You just summarized my whole thing with one word I'm so excited about this You're absolutely right. It's that whole saying of there's no time like the present kind of thing. It's right, we can dream all we want, but when are you going to do it?
Speaker 1:why'd you quit drumming?
Speaker 2:um or sabbatical, whatever yeah, um I, it was really crazy, but um I I realized that I had spent my entire life being a drummer, and that was my identity and I wanted to get away from that and so, literally, an opportunity presented itself.
Speaker 2:So I teach a drum line at a private Christian school in Brentwood which is like a suburb for those of you who don't live in Nashville but I've been substitute teaching there. I actually have a degree in music education, so I love teaching. Um, I love drumming too. Um, obviously, um, so that's kind of the hard, uh, but um, so I love.
Speaker 2:I do love teaching, and I've been substitute teaching there at this school for about, I guess, two and a half years now, um, and last year an opportunity actually presented itself, uh, where I I randomly subbed in a. It's a christian school, so I randomly subbed in a theology class what's theology? Theology is like the study of um, of, like christianity okay, and like so, like it essentially a, an easier word for it is uh, I taught bible perfect, right, that's better.
Speaker 1:It's a little that didn't go over my head that one landed. The eagle has landed um, so um.
Speaker 2:But I remember subbing in this class one time and being like I get to talk about the Bible with kids and it's just something that's very near and dear to my heart. And I became a believer about five and a half years ago, which is like a whole nother story and like what was your moment like?
Speaker 2:My moment was my entire life. I very much I was what people call an agnostic, which means like I believe something is out there and I deeply attributed everything to karma and to the universe. And so I knew that, like back then, I knew that coincidence wasn't a thing and I just kept seeing how I would meet somebody and then that would turn into like a really cool relationship or a really cool opportunity. Cause I was very opportunistic in my younger years of just like. I mean, work was my identity, right, drumming was my identity, right, drumming was my identity. Um, so I understood that, like if I stayed home, nothing happened, but if I went out and I met people, people were put in my life and it like parlayed into something way cooler. So, like, always be doing something, never right like, um, and and so, uh, my wife.
Speaker 2:Actually, when I met her, uh, it was on a tour in atlanta and I was playing for a pop artist and we were opening for bitty, who at the time, who was an australian, um and uh, we, my wife and I, hit it off um, and she, when she was leaving to go back to nashville and I was getting ready to go back to Nashville and I was getting ready to go back to or go, you know, go to the next city. Um, she told me she goes. I don't, I don't date long distance. Um the next person I did. I'm going to marry and they have to believe what I believe, which is Christianity.
Speaker 2:And when I first saw her, I was like if that girl will let me, I'm going to marry her Right. So I was like, if that girl will let me, I'm gonna marry her right. So I was like oh my gosh, like the next person you date, you're gonna marry, like sign me up, like yes, um. And then I told her I was like I can always move, like I'm not tied to LA because um do what I want.
Speaker 2:It's expensive and I do what I want and uh, and, and then I was like I'm open to hearing about Christianity, like I, no one's ever really talked to me about it before, um, and so we dated long distance for like 10 months. Um, I was in LA, she was in Nashville. We'd see each other, we'd visit each other every other month, so, like she'd go to LA for one month, I'd come to Nashville for the next month, um, and then we just talk on the phone for like four hours a day and we really got to know each other, which is really cool. So I was like, oh my gosh, I definitely want to marry this girl. And, uh, I got that job opportunity to move to Nashville and play for the country artist. And she called me one night and she goes you're going to move to Nashville. And I was like, yeah, and she was like, if you move to Nashville, we're probably going to get married.
Speaker 2:And I was like hopefully.
Speaker 1:The reason why I'm moving.
Speaker 2:I'm leaving my friends, any career opportunities I had in LA, I'm leaving that and she goes. Well, I can't marry you if you're not a Christian and I was like what, like how you know this is.
Speaker 2:So I didn't take it very well, because I was like well, that means your love is conditional. Like what do you mean? Like I'm, I'm committing to you, I'm changing my life for you all, that you're moving to a new city, um, and, and she goes, she goes. Obviously, I still love you and my love is not conditional. She goes, but, but please tell me you'll try, and I was, was like, of course, I told you in the beginning I would try, like I would hear this out. You know this whole God thing. And so then, on Christmas Eve of 2018, she sent me this sermon by this guy named Tim Keller, and she was just like someone shared this with me and I think it would really help. Please just tell me you'll give it a listen. I was like, of course, I'll give it a listen, and so I listened to it on my.
Speaker 2:It was Christmas Eve.
Speaker 2:I didn't have any work going on the next day, which was very rare, and when I lived in LA, I didn't go home for Christmas because I worked at a theme park and tickets were astronomical to fly home to Maine, and also, if I worked on a bank holiday, I would get double pay, so I'd make like a thousand dollars in a day and I was like I'm not gonna pay twelve hundred dollars to fly home, I'm gonna stay here and you know whatever.
Speaker 2:But I didn't have a gig that day, um, that you know Christmas, and so I it, um, and it just made a ton of sense to me. And, uh, god's relation to the universe made a ton of sense to me. It was the idea that, yes, you know, I love astronomy and I love studying that stuff. Um, and it was the idea that that, like, yes, the universe still exists, right, like, there are galaxies. If you see that picture, you know, there's a picture floating around somewhere of, like it looks like stars in the nighttime, but they're all galaxies and it's like that's insane to think about. And they you know, scientists have studied and and, through math and things that I will never understand, they figured out the time that space is constantly expanding.
Speaker 2:Like that's insane, like what? And the fact that you know we are floating in space and asteroids fly by us every day that could kill us and they don't write like that's insane to me. Um, and it wasn't until I had this.
Speaker 2:This um explained to me that, yes, that all exists and like gravity exists and all that, um, someone made it, and what spoke to me was that, uh, like god made that uh, and which, if we talk about, like big bang stuff I'm not trying to go down this rabbit hole, but like and that's a religion too right, like something created bigger than ourself.
Speaker 2:Right, and it's something that we will never know, because you can't like there's, we can't go back that far in history to read about it. But and then this preacher? We can't go back that far in history to read about it. And then this preacher talked about Jesus and he said that Russians had gone into space, the first Russian I forget his name, igor Grigoriev, or something first Russian to ever go into space. And they said they're a.
Speaker 2:I'm forgetting my words right now the atheists they're an atheist country, right? They went through space and they released an official statement saying we have been through the heavens and we didn't see a white man with a long white beard, so we can prove that god isn't real. And cs lewis came out with a a letter in response and he said he goes god isn't a upstairs neighbor that we can like, walk upstairs and ask for, like a cup of sugar. He, he created us and so he goes. Instead of thinking about it like that, think about it more like Shakespeare and Hamlet. And he goes.
Speaker 2:Hamlet doesn't look up and see Shakespeare like the character of Hamlet, right. Doesn't look up and see Shakespeare hanging out in the rafters like watching the play. No, the only way that Shakespeare can ever make himself known to Hamlet is if he writes himself into the play Hamlet, and then Hamlet will know who Shakespeare is. And that's what I believe God did with Jesus. I was a huge warrior. I would lose sleep so often because I was anxious, because I don't do well living paycheck to paycheck.
Speaker 1:I've done that my whole life.
Speaker 2:Some people love it, some people thrive, but I don't. I heard there's a Bible verse that Jesus is teaching. He was saying don't worry about tomorrow. Essentially, in a nutshell, a saying don't worry about tomorrow and essentially in a nutshell, like A we have enough to worry about today. But also worrying won't add a single day to your life.
Speaker 2:And I think about that so much of all the times that I've stayed up at night worrying about X, y or Z. My worry doesn't help the situation. In fact, it makes it worse, because I'm a very unpleasant person when I'm anxious, right and like um, and I always that's. That's. That is. The biggest regret I have in my life is anytime I've ever worried because I look back and it worked out. Maybe it didn't work out the way I wanted it to, but it worked out and in fact, it made me a better person, um. And another thing was and I love this it was um. This in the sermon Tim Keller talked about he goes, um, he goes. If you don't believe that there's a plan for you, that that there is a plan for specifically you, um, and that you're doing it all on your own, that you're the one making your own destiny, he goes, then you're going to be bitter because you're going to see people who succeeded over you and you're going to say why them, not me?
Speaker 2:You're going to be destitute and self-loathing because you will fail, because we will all fail at one point and I have failed so many times, and so you're going to attribute your lack of success to the fact that you failed.
Speaker 2:Or you're going to be anxious and a hot mess because you don't know what's coming down the pipe. And in my situation it was just all three of that was just revolving Self-loathing every time I messed up. You know jealousy for people who were doing what I could do, and sometimes not as well as I could do it, and I would just feel, you know, jealousy and loathing towards them. And then just anxiousness because and and so the second that I understood that for myself and had the realization that I'm here and I'm, you know, through all the crap that I've been through and all the crap that we've been through on our own, it's made us a better person, you know through all the crap that I've been through and all the crap that we've been through, um, on our own, uh, it's made us a better person, it's made us better people and it's made us more complete people, um, and so how can I, if I've seen all this bad stuff, make me better?
Speaker 2:how can I not believe that there's a plan, there's a plan for me, and I keep back away from the gate?
Speaker 1:I want believe that there's a plan, there's a plan for me, and I keep back away from the gate. I want to make sure I'm not like, no, it's. It's interesting. I look at it like he's zooming in and zooming out like and I guess in correlation with like even motivation, for example it's like when you. What would an example be? You might see someone who's who's living the living your ideal life yes you're very.
Speaker 1:Either some people choose to be beaten down by that and pity, or other people get motivated to go. Oh, I work a little bit harder. I can achieve that and that's for me. When you like, zoom out and look at the big picture of what's happening for you, and it's that life's happening for us, not to us. No, yeah, hold on which way? Yeah, yeah, for us, not to us. No, yeah, hold on which way yeah. Yeah, for us not to us.
Speaker 1:There is a plan. Oh, I like that, and when we think it's happening to us, we're very reactive. Very true, rather than thinking about like what's the lesson that I need to learn? Yes, coming back to reflection, which we spoke about in the beginning, yeah.
Speaker 1:If you're in a bad position in life, you don't even need to look outside yourself Like what is the next course I need to take? Where do I need to invest money? Who do I need to meet? It's just like for me, for example. For you, you've got 37 years. I've got 33 years worth of life experience that I could reflect upon. I could list out a number of key life experiences, both good and both bad, and I could go back into them. What happened then? What was I responsible for? What do I need to take responsibility for, and how did that influence the outcomes?
Speaker 1:Because from that we gain self-awareness, we gain newfound insights that can help us moving forward. But people never want to use that right. Like the plan to your point. That's been happening has happened for a reason and it's got a bucket load of lessons that many of us because we're too busy, life's happening very quickly, we don't stop to just go stop. What do I need?
Speaker 2:Right? Well, and isn't it when you were saying that? Because I I don't think I could have ever said that more eloquently, so great job, um, but like, uh, it all boils down to, in my mind, it all boils down to accountability, and we make choices every day. Do we want to be held accountable for our actions and a lot of people and again, hopefully I'm not offending, I don't really care- Just go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a lot of people have that victim mentality is like you were saying life is happening to them, they're not taking ownership for what they've done and, yeah, like crazy things happen and sometimes you won't know for years why they're happening. But what you can do is you can take ownership for, like you said, your own part in it and choose to make that a a learning point to be better moving forward. One of my favorite stories was do you guys follow baseball at all? Probably not.
Speaker 1:Like not really I'm more into cricket, but I've watched a few games.
Speaker 2:So there's a team called the Oakland A's. We're going to be in Oakland.
Speaker 1:Come see us in Oakland. Come see us in Oakland, get your tickets. Get your tickets and your hot dogs.
Speaker 2:But so the general manager for the Oakland A's, this guy named Billy Bean, um crazy name right, Crazy Good old.
Speaker 2:William Bean, really, um, but so, um, he was just, uh, uh, he was slated to be one of the best baseball players of all time and uh went through high school just being the best, being scouted by like major league teams Um, he turned down a full ride to go to Stanford university, uh, to play baseball. He turned that down to sign a major league contract, um, to play baseball when he was 18. Right to sign a major league contract, um, to play baseball when he was 18. Right, um, and he said he remembers he was in the minor leagues and he struck out for the first time ever, like it was the first time he hadn't experienced success and he got so mad that he had a like a in that like farm team, like lower level kind of like what the national sounds are.
Speaker 2:Um, they were using metal bats instead of wood bats and he was so mad that he took his bat and he slammed it against, uh, the corner of a wall so many times that he bent the bat. And then he was so stubborn that he went up the next at bat with that bent bat and obviously, what do you think happened? Struck out and he sent him into a spiral and he never recovered and he's now the general manager and one of the owners for the Oakland A's. But he never made it big in baseball Because when he faced adversity he didn't know what to do with it and so it destroyed him. And so we face adversity and we learn from it. So like the more crap we go through in our lives, the stronger we become right.
Speaker 1:And you can find controlled adversity as well. It's like why doing hard things is so powerful because it teaches you in a safe environment, essentially like in this created curated space how you're going to respond to it. Like you jump in a cold pool, or you lift heavy weight, or you get up and try and do a public speaking set, or whatever it is Like, your brain goes into survival mode and it's like are you going to react or are you going to learn how to manage your emotions?
Speaker 1:Are you going to be able to focus on the outcome and still navigate for it? Because life is going to serve you up some shit at some point and so if you don't train for that, you're not going to respond well. And if you use William Bean as an example, like, when adversity comes, do you want to be able to step up to it or do you want to be affected by it? And I can probably imagine a lot of people listening don't want to be impacted in a negative, negative way about it.
Speaker 2:okay, start fucking training for it right, yes, do put yourself in situation. Yeah, oh, I think that's that might be the title of the podcast do hard things. Yeah, baby, that's a man, I love that. It's um, I've thought about that a lot with the cold plunge because I'm I'm trying to get better at it, um, and it's the idea of right.
Speaker 2:How do you? It's a shock to the system first, which is also so good for you, but like it's a shock to your system at first, but then how can you sit in it and be like, accept it for what it is. It's cold surrendering, it's not gonna kill you right, like maybe different if you were. You know on the titanic and you're in the ocean like I might die.
Speaker 1:I'm probably gonna die like all you need to do when it gets uncomfortable is get out, and it's like you push your threshold. Wow, the way I look at it is like people look at me, for example, right when I did the 30 marathons in 30 days. People go. That's not possible. I'm like fair maybe from the couch that you're sitting on. However, it's all relative right, like people's thresholds, and response to adversity is very different.
Speaker 2:I've been.
Speaker 1:I've trained since I was five. I've been active my whole life.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And I've done a lot of physical challenges and I understand how far I can push my or. I don't actually, but I believe in my ability in certain things, so I set a goal. It's like I know I'm gonna. Yeah, there's no doubt in my mind. However, if I would have set a goal I know if I would have set the goal to do 30 marathons in 30 days 10 years ago, that would have been mind-blowing. But over time, I've continuously pushed what I believe to be possible and sometimes there's been failure. There's been injuries, there's been failure, there's been injuries, there's been setbacks, but I've kept showing up and stepping up and pushing it, and that's all.
Speaker 1:The ice bath is as well. It's like you jump in, you have that initial shock, you jump out the next day I'm going to try and sit in there for 15 seconds and then you just keep doing it and you prove to yourself man, I can do so much more. Now I'm sitting in for 90 seconds, like two months ago I couldn't do it at all. And then this newfound belief, and you transfer that into other areas of your life because you start challenging what you think to be possible. It's like if you thought the ice bath was impossible, and now you're doing it. What other bullshit beliefs do you have that you?
Speaker 2:push through. Well, I mean going right back to like learning from our history, like our own history, right, I thought this was impossible and now I'm doing it, so I mean exactly what you said. I love that so much.
Speaker 1:Johnny, we could talk for hours, we could. Where can people find you on socials? And I do want to have you back on because there's still so many questions I have to ask um okay, so socials.
Speaker 2:You can find me on first of all really quick funny story. Um, I'm old and and uh, I remember these dang kids say these things that I don't understand, and I remember the first time someone asked me for my socials I was like I'm not giving myself social security.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to do that. Yes, no. So socials Instagram you can find me at butter drums last name is Butterworth drums, obviously. Facebook John Butterworth, j-o-n. Not J-O-H-N, because I'm a Jonathan and I actually have kind of a fun little YouTube thing that I have not committed to, but I started a little bit back then back a couple of years ago over COVID called Tips, tricks and Takeaways, and what I do is, um, I'm a huge gear nerd and so I review things, uh, all drum things. I teach people like how to, um, how to tune drums, but I also like a lot with ableton, because ableton's like my thing. Uh, for those of you who don't know, that's like a program that you run like live tracks for bands.
Speaker 2:Um, so I just like it's a just a fun little and I need to do it more, but hell yeah youtube tips, tricks and takeaways. Uh, and I don't do tiktok because I'm old. Uh, I had it when it first came out and I was posting on it and then one day my password didn't work and so I like reset my password and I got back in my account and all my videos were gone and I was like I'm done.
Speaker 1:I'm not starting again, I'm not starting over Too much, too much, that's fair.
Speaker 2:But yeah.
Speaker 1:For everyone listening along. I've got Johnny's socials, not his social security number. You miss out there In the show notes, so you can click on and give him a follow. Mate, I really, really appreciate you coming on and getting to know you a little bit better. There's still so many questions that we'll be able to find out over on the next tour as well. You can. For, like another, what four or five weeks or something?
Speaker 2:I'm excited. It's so fun. Dude, I'm honored to know you and I'm honored to be on this. This is a highlight of my summer so far. So thank you so much.
Speaker 1:We've only just kicked into some, but some, some key takeaways. For me is like the one that I highlighted at the beginning we always have something to accomplish, something to celebrate and be thankful for and something to learn. The ability for you to separate yourself from what you thought your identity was, to expand and grow into so much more than just being a drummer, I think, is something that a lot of our listeners could take away and definitely relate to as well.
Speaker 2:So, dude, thank you thank you, lucky cheers, cheers.
