The Hard Truth About Chasing Dreams and Why I Refuse to Quit #608

Mentioned On Today's Show:
🤝 Life Doesn't Always Follow the Script
🤝 Challenges Are Real, No Matter How Life Looks on the Outside
🤝 Resilience is About Pushing Through, Not Quitting

Struggling with financial stress and visa issues, I’m running 58 marathons in 58 states to push my limits, build resilience, and inspire others

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https://www.themanthatcanproject.com/strong-men-of-value

Chapters

• 0:00 Journey of Chasing Dreams and Resilience
• 14:53 Seize Opportunities, Create Memories

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:38

The hard truth about chasing dreams and why I refuse to quit. Life is tough for me at the moment and I have two choices either quit or I double down. I had a vision of what my life would look like by the time I turned 33. It was pretty straightforward. I thought I would have a family, a stable career and spend my weekends having beers with mates. Funny how life doesn't always stick to the script. As I sit here today, my life couldn't be more different. I live abroad, I don't have children yet, and beers with the boys aren't a regular part of my weekend. Instead, I'm training to run 58 marathons in 58 states across 58 days, and that is not something that I ever would have predicted. Like. I literally just walked in from the gym from doing my strength session today. It's a double session today and my arms are killing me from getting that done.

Speaker 1: 2:29

And when I was writing this this morning, I was thinking a lot about, like, what is actually going on in my life, and one thing that training for these 58 marathons has taught me is that there's always a journey, and the unfortunate position I found myself in or I actually put myself in was over the years, I've documented a lot of things that I've done and because I'm in a coach, I've built this identity where I don't feel like I'm in a position to share challenges, because I also am very fortunate with the life that I have. But the truth of that is that my life still experiences challenges and if I don't allow myself an opportunity to talk about them, I feel like, ultimately, I'm bottling things up. So, on the outside, looking in, looking at my social media especially, it probably seems like I'm living the dream. I get to travel across America. At the moment, I'm doing what I love, like I'm living the dream. I get to travel across America. At the moment I'm doing what I love and I experience adventures that most people only dream of.

Speaker 1: 3:27

But behind the highlights, guys, I am struggling and it feels odd to admit that At 33, I thought I'd have my life you know, quote unquote together the house, the family, the steady income. But here's the thing the family, the steady income. But here's the thing I decided in 2014 that a stable career wasn't for me. I knew I wanted to work for myself and live a life on my terms, and I've spent the last decade chasing that dream or, I guess, chasing dreams that don't fit the typical mold, and along the way, my relationship with alcohol changed and I found myself choosing adventure over nursing hangovers on the weekends.

Speaker 1: 4:06

My wife and I have been so focused on building our individual dreams that I guess it never felt like the right time to have or start a family. The reality is now we've come to accept that there's never going to be the perfect time for anything, whether it's starting a family or chasing a goal. You just have to commit and make it work. The truth is, you'll always figure it out, and that's what we've done with our life for the last 10 years. We decided on outcomes that we want to achieve, we made plans, we supported each other and we've learned to adjust or pivot when life inevitably throws those bloody curveballs that come your way, and I wanted to become a man that I was proud of before I had kids.

Speaker 1: 4:48

You've probably heard me talk about that a lot on the podcast, and I do believe I'm at a point where I've done that. But I've also, I guess, made myself bottle a lot of things up, because I'm constantly talking to people who I feel maybe have bigger challenges at hand that I don't appreciate the enormity of the challenges that are actually my life and to some people, as with all problems in life, some people's problems may seem like a drop in the ocean, others may seem unbearable, and that goes for every single person when that's working. So I guess the kicker is every solution that I've found has brought new challenges into my life, much like I'm sure you experience as well. And that's just how it is you have to rise to meet the challenges. It's funny how, when I reflect on social media, I don't always post the perfect shots, but when we're fortunate to do a lot of exciting things and it looks great, the truth is I don't jump on to share the moments when I'm stressed or anxious about my future. Why? Because I feel like I've got a good life and I shouldn't be complaining. That's, I guess, a pressure that I've adopted and I think a lot of men can relate to. But that is the problem in itself, isn't it? It's like I need to justify my struggles to myself. The reality is, no matter how good life may seem, challenges still exist.

Speaker 1: 6:11

For me, the big challenge is feeling stuck, and I haven't openly spoken to anyone about this. So if you're listening, this is the first time I've really spoken to it. My close friends, group, know and family, but that's about it Feeling stuck. I'm on a spousal visa over here that doesn't allow me to work in America, and it's a fucking pain in the ass Really it is. And while I don't want to give up on supporting my wife and chasing our dreams, I also need to find out what that next step is, or that next leap.

Speaker 1: 6:40

I've spent years building a life where I didn't have to stress about money. I created something that I was truly proud of, a business that provided for my family. I got to do what I love and I felt like I was contributing to something bigger than myself. But to have that taken away due to these visa restrictions has been tough. Initially I was like we'll make do, we'll figure that out, but as with everything, you don't really get the right feedback until you try something, and that's why I'm a massive advocate of trying things before you confirm a decision.

Speaker 1: 7:14

I can't work face-to-face with clients here in America, which sucks, which is something that I've loved and something that I even drove a lot of my revenue. In fact, losing face-to-face has cost me probably upwards of $100,000 per year, and when you throw in the exchange rate at the moment, the financial hit is even bigger nearly double. Add that to the pressure of wanting to start a family and it becomes a constant mental game of how am I going to provide and survive? The most frustrating part is that there are men here in the US that I could be helping right now men I could be coaching. I've got the skills, the passion and the drive, but I'm stuck behind these visa laws. It's hard waking up knowing that I'm sitting behind a laptop when all I want to do is run workshops, coach men face-to-face and just have that impact again.

Speaker 1: 8:09

I really want that, I really crave that, and that probably ties it back into the 58 marathons that I'm doing. It's a big reason why I've decided to do the challenge and it truly excites me. It's a shot at something bigger than the restrictions that I'm under right now. So it ticks all the boxes for me. There's travel involved, there's running, there's pushing myself to the absolute limit. I get to spend two weeks with one of my best mates and this is my way of creating an opportunity where there doesn't seem to be one. Yes, I'm hoping that this challenge will help me build an audience large enough to qualify for the O1 visa, and for those of you who I guess aren't familiar with how the visa process works for an Australian moving to the US, there are a range of visas and O1 sort of suits my line of work, because you either got to have special talents or start a business over here or be sponsored various things. And from my line of work and what I want to continue building, the best visa for me is the O1, which is essentially a special talent, like a musician or a sports person etc. And people can now get that in the coaching space from having a large enough audience on social media or podcasts, and my podcast isn't quite big enough yet. So for me it's like one opportunity that comes with the run and the potential publicity of doing it is growing the audience base and inspiring enough people to the point where it ticks those boxes for the immigration to allow me to be able to do that, which will once again allow me to be able to start running more face-to-face stuff here in the US.

Speaker 1: 9:48

But it's more than just that right, it's about the mental resilience. It's about taking control of my narrative, my story. I don't want someone else to write my story. I don't want to give up, even when the odds are against me, I just don't have quitting in me. I'll be facing freezing temperatures, I'm sure, a bucket load of physical pain and the mental grind of running marathon after marathon after marathon. That's 42.2K a day, or 26.2 miles a day, roughly.

Speaker 1: 10:18

I think the truth of that and the truth of this whole experience, and why I want to share this, is because that's life. We all face challenges, we all feel pressure. We either rise to the occasion or we surrender, and that's a choice. I want to inspire others to rise to the challenges or rise to their challenges, and we can all do it when we really need to do it. It's like when our back's against the wall. That's when we step up, and right now I really need to. For me, this challenge represents everything that I value health, connection, adventure, freedom. At the heart of it all, my marriage is the most important thing to me.

Speaker 1: 10:56

Moving to the US wasn't just about supporting my wife's career. It was an opportunity for both of us to grow and experience life differently. We've had countless conversations around how we're balancing our dreams with our reality, and we're committed to not giving up on it either. We don't want to live apart and we don't want to live lives where I guess the regret or we live with regret of not chasing our dreams Both of those suck. So I guess, when you look at it like that, that's where you have to change the story. That's where you have to write your own story. Starting a family is on the horizon. For us, it's something we've been talking about a lot and to me that's now starting to add a huge layer of urgency. But we're in this together and we support each other through the highs and the lows, because we want each other to succeed and we want our marriage to succeed, and that's the ultimate goal.

Speaker 1: 11:46

For those of you who are listening, I know that from time to time you experience the highs and from time to time you experience the lows, and that's what makes life so beautiful is the polarity between the two. One thing that I want you to I hope that you really take away from this episode is that your challenges are warranted, and I think the more you talk about them rather than bottling them up, the better you're going to feel, literally. Even just from talking through and reading this podcast out after I wrote it this morning, I feel so much better. I feel like I've actually taken a step to controlling my narrative, because I want to share with you guys what's actually going on in my life and I want to remove the expectation that I've put on myself that I need to have it all figured out and that I'm not allowed to struggle anymore. Because the truth is, whenever you're leveling up, you're going to reach a point of struggling where you don't feel like you have the skill set or you don't have the right things to be able to move forward. But the reality is you do. You just need to figure it out.

Speaker 1: 12:47

Right now, it feels like I've got two options Quit and go back to Australia, or do something extraordinary Quitting. Well, that's not a real option in my opinion, in my eyes. I don't want to look back on my life and regret giving up when I was so close. I feel like I'm so fucking close. I don't ever want to tell my kids hey, chase your dreams. Knowing that I quit on mine. I'm a massive believer in allowing your actions and how you show up and how you respond to things to do your talking, and I couldn't sit here and continue doing this podcast or coaching people if I were to do that. I just don't think it's possible. It's like for me when I'm coaching people on their health, I know that I need to be healthy myself. When I'm coaching people on business or the things that I know around business I don't know a lot of things around business, but the line of the avenue that I go down, it's like I want to have those results to back it up. I want to have a great lifestyle and a great marriage, and I think quitting to me is a reason why a lot of people aren't where they want to be. So I just don't want that, not with this. There's certain things you can quit on, but not with this. Doing something extraordinary means pushing through, even when it feels impossible. Now, life tends to create patterns and a lot of people end up stuck on the hamster wheel, but the ones who break free and go against the grain, those are the extraordinary ones. I want to be one of those people.

Speaker 1: 14:17

The Strongman of Value Academy is about helping men build a better life, and if you want more from your life, you need to start asking yourself the right questions and setting the right goals and taking the right actions. Surround yourself with a community of men who are pushing for more, and you'll start pushing as well. Don't wait for the perfect time to chase your dreams, because life is flying by. I've nearly been in the US for one year. Literally next week is one year and, wow, we've had some experiences. I've had some ups and some downs, some topsy-turvies, all of that sort of stuff. I know that I don't want to regret it.

Speaker 1: 14:53

And another thing that I forgot to mention earlier is I'm aware enough that the experiences that I'm having are once in a lifetime, so I'm not taking it for granted why I'm sitting here thinking about fuck, how am I going to provide and do all these things? I'm maximizing that, while still then scratching my head in the background thinking about what can I do to turn this thing around, and I would encourage you to do that as well. Don't allow the stress that life puts you on to make you not present while it's passing you by, because I would hate for you to be in your elder years looking back, going man. The elder years, in my opinion, are the years where we have time to reminisce on the memories, reflect and really laugh and think about the cool experiences we have. But if you're not making them, what memory bank are you going to have to draw from, so really prioritize that.

Speaker 1: 15:49

I'd love to extend the invitation for you to join the Strongman of Value Academy. At the moment I'm recording this on the 18th of September. Applications close on the 27th of September, so we've got nine days. I would love you to be a part of it. We only have a maximum of 15 people joining this quarter, so make sure you hit the application. All you need to do once you do the application, is you'll book a call with myself. You'll have filled out a few questions and then we will be able to answer any questions that you have and find out whether it's going to be a good fit for helping you get things going. My name is Lachlan Stewart. I'm here proving that every man can, and as always, do something today to be better for tomorrow. I look forward to seeing you at the next episode.