How Overthinking Impacts My Life #620

Lachlan Stuart discusses the importance of being authentic and the challenges of overthinking. He reflects on his own experiences with self-expression, the sacrifices made in pursuit of goals, and the need to reconnect with one's true self. The conversation emphasizes the value of individuality and the dangers of conforming to societal expectations. Ultimately, Lachlan encourages listeners to embrace their authentic selves and enjoy the process of personal growth.

Takeaways

• Being yourself can be the hardest advice to follow.
• Overthinking can drain energy and disconnect us from our true selves.
• Authenticity leads to deeper connections with others.
• Sacrifices are often necessary to achieve personal goals.
• It's important to reflect on our own thoughts and beliefs.
• Social media can provide insights into others' experiences.
• Relaxing and being yourself can improve results.
• Individuality is crucial in a world of conformity.
• Feedback is essential for personal growth and improvement.
• Letting go of control can lead to a more fulfilling life.

Chapters

• 0:00 The Power of Being Yourself
• 8:38 Overcome Overthinking and Be Authentic
• 14:42 Embrace Authenticity for Personal Growth

Transcript

Lachlan Stuart: 0:00

Welcome to the man that Can. With Lachlan Stewart. Today is a cool episode. It's going to be about be yourself and don't overthink it.

Lachlan Stuart: 0:09

Now, off the back of pretty much the last 50 solo episodes, I've got feedback from people and I always watch my episodes and I give myself feedback and one of the biggest things that I've noticed was how stale and how monotone that I speak when I'm doing these episodes. I tend to get so focused on trying to deliver such a serious, I guess, episode and information to help you transform your life that I guess the expression that I could have, or even a bit of laughter and a few jokes that come in it, which is how I would normally speak it, because I feel like, if I have your attention, I don't want to ramble. I want to be very clear and concise, which means cutting out the humor, drawing it back, but, to be completely honest, I think that's such an important part of what makes an episode engaging. So it's funny, right, how the most simple advice just be yourself can be the hardest to follow, and I'm sure you experience it, I experience it and I'm pretty much talking to myself right now around that exact topic. You have a unique way of thinking, insights and perspectives that you would love to deliver, even just share with friends and family.

Lachlan Stuart: 1:27

And sometimes, especially as we're growing and as we're evolving, we fixate on an idea or a goal and that becomes everything that we want to achieve and, as a result of that, we lose parts of ourselves to try and achieve this outcome. And I think every outcome we achieve ultimately presents a new problem. It presents a new goal to work towards where we can start bringing back pieces of ourselves. I guess my timeline would be wanting to earn money, wanting to build a business, wanting to improve my mental health, wanting to improve my physical health. In order to do those and get those to a point where I was proud and I would look in the mirror and go that's what I aspire to be. I'm on my own inspiration here that you have to make a lot of sacrifices in order to do that, and then there comes a point in time where you're like the discipline may be a little bit too much.

Lachlan Stuart: 2:22

How do I reintegrate other fun or more enjoyable aspects while still maintaining, if not improving on, these results and habits that I've currently established, and that becomes the fun part. So, when I did an Instagram reel the other day and my brother-in-law, george, was like I actually really enjoyed that one and I was like what was it that you enjoyed about it as opposed to previous ones that maybe you don't watch? And he just said you were taking the Mickey bit. You had a little bit of banter, but also more personality in it. That we know and we see behind the scenes. But maybe you take yourself too seriously on the screen. And I walked away from that feedback thinking why do I take myself so seriously on this podcast?

Lachlan Stuart: 3:04

And even right now I'm doing exactly what this topic is about, which is you're overthinking it. I'm thinking how am I portraying myself? How am I presenting myself during this episode? Am I allowing my personality to come through? Or am I having a million different thoughts at once, which tends to happen quite frequently within my head? Because I know there's a way that I used to think about things. There's a way that I currently think about things and there is a way that I would like to be able to think about things. And all of those are part of a journey and a part of a growth process to continue helping me articulate myself better, process thoughts better, so that I can be clear and concise while still getting a point across that is valid and valuable to you guys.

Lachlan Stuart: 3:51

And so when I'm doing this, overthinking, I find it's some of the most energy draining experiences of my life. Right, it leaves me feeling disconnected a lot of the time, because when people are saying things, I'm thinking in my head like on rapid fire how do I want to respond, what is the most appropriate way to respond and how can I deliver that in the most clear and concise way? Because I used to ramble a lot and I probably still do, and the idea in my head is I've watched many great speakers and presenters who just have this unique ability to be able to tell a story, to be able to have you respond, walk out of a room feeling something and wanting to create change, and that's something that I aspire to have, and I believe that when you listen to episodes like this or you may watch content, whether it's mine or other people that you enjoy that. The inspirational beauty of the motivational content, the beauty of the educational content, is it takes you through a range of emotions where you feel the highs and you feel the lows, but, most importantly, you walk away having learned something, having a newfound level of awareness within your own life around areas that you want to improve upon. And how could you do that, whether it is becoming more serious in certain things or taking yourself more seriously in certain areas, or lift, easing up a little bit, having a little bit more fun, a little bit more play within your life. And that's what I think the beauty of social media and, more importantly or more specifically, podcast is, because you get into the minds of other people and I know for myself, when I'm listening to a podcast or an audio, I'm thinking about how that plays out in my life and identifying the pros, the benefits, the great things, the things that make happy. And then the flip side of that is the challenges that I've got, the things that I need to improve upon, and once again, I go down that rabbit hole of overthinking. But I think a big lesson that I'm learning and why I'm going to continue doing the solo podcasts is I believe it is a great way to continue flexing that muscle. As soon as I finish this recording, I'll edit it, I will watch it back and I will give myself some feedback. Was I presenting myself in a way that I'm proud of? What areas can I improve upon so that I can get to the or move in the direction that I want to move in. And that is just goal setting in general. But one of the most important things and I take this from the feedback that George gave me is about being yourself, so not overthinking it too much.

Lachlan Stuart: 6:17

And there's a point in many people's life where we subscribed or adopt other people's beliefs and way of being, and there are certain scenarios where that's a good thing to do and there are many where it's not so much of a good thing to do because we become, I guess, someone just sitting up there going control pace, control pace, control pace and everyone becomes the same. You just look at the wave of Kardashian-looking people out there who've lost their individuality because they've had all the plastic, surgeries and everything to want to look like a specific person, because they think that is what success looks like or that is what beauty looks like. And you're going to have your own take on that what you think is beautiful and what you don't think is beautiful. But for me it's also the importance of not allowing our personality to fall into that trait where you just regurgitate what other people say. You don't have your own thoughts, you don't stand behind or engage in the things that you want to engage in.

Lachlan Stuart: 7:14

One of the examples I was writing about this morning was even pursuing fitness goals In order to achieve an outcome that you haven't already achieved before, you have to make the sacrifices I was talking about earlier, and so, for me, training towards the 58 marathons is plenty of sacrifices. I'm having to work with less clients, I'm having to train more, I'm having to prioritize sleep more, prioritizing eating Now, some people love the eating part, not so much me but to be doing those things, it's not going to be sustainable for a long period of time. So a lot of habits that I had developed up until this point, that had served me, that had allowed me to maintain great results in those areas, are going out the window, and I know that for this brief, let's say six-month period, I have to make bigger sacrifices than I've had to make in a long while. My habits are going to be challenged, which means my identity is going to be challenged, but it's going to present an opportunity to grow, and that growth opportunity is going to present me with a lot of feedback, which I can't yet speak of because I haven't gone there, but I'll be able to talk about come probably April, once the dust has settled, and I'll be able to think about how have I presented myself? What did I learn from that? Which sacrifices am I proud of? What were the biggest lessons that are going to help me continue moving forward within my own life?

Lachlan Stuart: 8:38

But if we go back, circle back around, the overthinking gets in the way for the fitness as well, and this is where I want to link this in with fitness. If you don't feel comfortable or confident within the gym, it's very easy to get into that overthinking trap where you lose the reason why you want to do it or why you feel you should do it in the first place. So much like I'm talking about here with podcasting and communication and, I guess, even content creation, where I'll overthink to the point where I won't take action or I don't like the content that I'm putting out or I don't feel I'm being as engaging as I could be. It's very much similar for people who are wanting to get into the gym, to the point where you know, hey, the goal is to get into the gym because I want to look better, I want to feel better, I want to feel strong, but you may overthink it because you go, oh, what's the right program I need to get? What supplements should I get? What gym should I join? What if people see me lifting things incorrectly because I don't feel comfortable there?

Lachlan Stuart: 9:34

And you go into this overthinking mode where you actually don't take any action to move forward and improve yourself. And much like I'm doing here is there's still a lot of work that I have to do, much like we all do, and you can either allow that to be the reason why you don't take action. So I could say, oh man, that podcast episode sucked, I was very boring, I didn't deliver much value. I'm not going to do a podcast anymore, or you go. That was boring, that wasn't entertaining. But here's some feedback for myself on areas that I can improve. Let's go, improve on that, and that is what I tend to want to do. With the things that I'm committing to, much like, I hope, the things that you feel you want to commit to in your life. You're giving yourself that feedback to be able to go hey, I sucked there, but I want to be better, and this is what I believe being better looks like and this is what I believe I need to do to get there. Let's get to work. And so, even though you may still overthink things, you're identifying what the improvements need to be for yourself. You can then start making progress.

Lachlan Stuart: 10:36

But, more importantly, along the way with that continued reflection, you're going to be able to identify whether you're being authentic or whether you're being genuine or whether you're not. I see it a lot within the personal development space and I'm 100% guilty of it where I would read something back in the day and this'm 100% guilty of it where I would read something back in the day and this was probably up until 18 months ago, if I'm being honest I would read something in someone's thought or someone's idea and I would use that as my own. I'd never try to make sense of it. I would never understand where it's coming from, how it applies to my own life and how I can link it to other things in my life, to have my own genuine sorry, my genuine understanding own thought, to be able to put out there and really explain from multiple different standpoints. And a lot of people are doing that within their own life. Same with training, with business, with relationships they're regurgitating information that's already out there without seeking to understand it.

Lachlan Stuart: 11:31

So if you don't understand things or you could not teach it to someone, even with exercise, if you could not teach a movement pattern, then I would recommend learning how to do it. And there are so many great resources, so many great tools. You've got YouTube, you can pay coaches, you can watch people's social media channels. All of these things can help you improve your ability to coach. And not saying because you need to be a coach or you want to be a coach, but learning to teach things or coach things shows that you really understand the process of what it takes to deliver the outcome or do the things you want to do, and so that's going to be a very important thing there. So I'm just going to check on my notes here what else I have or have not spoken about. Here we go.

Lachlan Stuart: 12:17

So one of the goals I guess the big picture of being myself and stopping overthinking things is to bring my personality back into the content, the way that I would speak to other people, to clients, to friends, to family, and I've developed this little grounding technique. So before recording, I've got this notes section on my laptop, just on Apple Notes here, and with that I practice warming up my voice. So my wife's got a singer or she's got a singer. She is a singer, she has a vocal warm-up. I've taken some of those the tongue stretch, the lip, loosener things and doing some of those. I rehearse the key points.

Lachlan Stuart: 12:56

One of the reasons why I feel like I hadn't been able to really get into what I was talking about is because I was writing my newsletter and then I was trying to read it almost word for word, rather than just summarizing the key points and allowing myself to use the experiences, the problems, the processes and the benefits that I know about to guide the conversation, which is what I'm doing, more so here today than reading the newsletter that goes out every week word for word. So that's been a lot better. And getting into a playful mindset. There is a difference between needing to be in a serious mindset, needing to be in a relaxed mindset and a playful mindset, and you can get yourself in those states by changing your state and that will change the energy with how you speak, how you show up. So that's a cool little trick, but that helps me feel more confident and less likely to overthink in my delivery. So that's one of the ones that I'm really doubling down on, and I would love to get your feedback on this episode and the future episodes where I'm doing solo conversations there. So what else has we got? That is good.

Lachlan Stuart: 14:01

When I relax, show up myself, and that's another key point and I think this speaks true to you guys as well is that when you relax and show up as yourself, the results will speak for themselves. And the results, the exact feedback you need to know whether the habits that you have, the skills that you have, to the level that you need to acquire or achieve those results, or it's going to be the results that prove, hey, I'm not quite where I would like to be or where I need to be. Let's get to work. That's the beautiful thing about honestly being yourself, rather than trying to be a chameleon or pretend to be someone that you're not. So if there's one message that I hope you guys take away from this one, it's that authenticity is the foundation of a fulfilling life.

Lachlan Stuart: 14:42

So when you let go of the overthinking and simply just show up, you enjoy the process more and connect more deeply with others, and you may see it a lot on social media now around people being transparent, around what's really going on. I saw a guy, andrew Papp, that I follow on social media this morning talking about how he had to cancel a workshop in January because he just wasn't selling enough tickets for it. And this guy has hundreds of thousands of followers, someone who has what looks like a great business from the outside, and he was talking about hey, I want to be transparent, because people talk about the problem after they've found a solution for it rather than when they're going through it, which I think was really cool to be able to connect, because I'm like man, I've been in that position as well. It's cool to hear someone that I aspire to be like or be in that position, talking about what they're actually going through. So that is a game changer. What else is there? That's it. So, whether it's health, wealth, relationships, everything improves when you stop trying to control the outcome all the time and start being yourself. So here's to letting go, embracing the moment and building a life that reflects the real you. Thank you, guys for tuning in Now.

Lachlan Stuart: 15:53

Over the next couple of weeks, you're going to see, I'm going to be showing some of the fitness programs that I have built and released and made over the last couple of years. Now, it's not going to be one-to-one coaching with me. As I mentioned last week, I'm not taking on any more clients until the run is done. I just don't believe I can commit to delivering a great experience while I'm training so much and traveling so much, so to bring back programs that have successfully delivered results to help them build strength to get their running better. These are obviously separate programs, but you can check them out in the link in the bio and if there's one that grabs your attention for 12 weeks, definitely give it a crack and I look forward to seeing how those programs help you build your strength, your confidence and understanding around training for a better future. My name is Lachlan Stewart. As always, do something today to be better for tomorrow.