Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs #622

Lachie Stuart discusses the impact of limiting beliefs on personal growth and how to overcome them.

He shares his experiences with self-doubt while preparing for a challenging marathon journey and emphasizes the importance of a supportive network.

Lachie encourages listeners to challenge their negative thoughts, adopt a growth mindset, and take actionable steps towards self-improvement.

Takeaways

• Limiting beliefs can hold you back from achieving your goals.
• Awareness of negative thoughts is the first step to change.
• Flipping the script on limiting beliefs can lead to positive outcomes.
• A growth mindset allows for learning and development.
• Surrounding yourself with a supportive community is crucial.
• Challenging negative beliefs can help you find evidence for positivity.
• Writing down limiting beliefs helps in recognizing them.
• Trusting your gut is essential for personal authenticity.
• Conditioning yourself to focus on positives can change your mindset.
• Taking action towards self-improvement is key to overcoming obstacles.

Chapters

• 0:00 How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs
• 9:23 Embracing a Growth Mindset
• 18:35 Supporting Mental Health Fundraising Initiative

Transcript

Lachlan Stuart: 0:00

How to Stop Limiting Beliefs from Holding you Back. This week I wanted to drop a solo episode on this because it's something that I'm experiencing a lot going through the 58 marathons in 58 days across 58 states, not just the training but the building our team out, getting the logistics sorted and then thinking about my role within all of that and it's something that is daunting. It really is daunting. But then when I catch myself and I'm aware of those negative thoughts or those limiting thoughts, I'm able to think, hey, this Lockie is just going to require a different version of you, a better version of you, the version of you that believes you can achieve these things, the version of you that believes you can build out that team. And that's what I'm excited to dive into and unpack today over the next sort of 15 minutes, what I would love to quickly just share as well. For all of you who have taken the time to follow the show, it means a lot. Once again, it's super helpful because it allows sponsors and other people that come on board with what we're doing and with the man that can and the other challenges that I've got that I'm building towards. It allows them to see that there are people who are engaged in this audience. If you do keep coming back week after week and you're finding value, yet you haven't hit subscribe on YouTube or on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your listening from, please do it. That would help me out massively, so get started there.

Lachlan Stuart: 1:33

So what I'd like to start with is an initial belief. We all have some limiting beliefs that we've adopted within our life, whether it's from experience and we've just held on to it and haven't allowed ourselves to move forward, or there's beliefs that we've had, I guess, pressed upon us from our family, from our environment or even from the schooling system that we grew up in. Now, a big one that I had that I wanted to talk about. Actually, you know what? I've written a newsletter here, but I'm just going to talk about the 58 Marathon. So one of the initial beliefs that I had around the marathon was I can't walk away from my life for two months to invest in something that I really feel I would get a lot of benefit out of in terms of life experience, sharing moments with people that I meet along the way, and just the physical challenge of it. I felt that, hey, I'm mid-30s now, I'm married, I have a mortgage. It's not possible. I have to stop. I have to say no to those exciting things that I want to do, because I've got responsibilities, what I was very fortunate that I caught myself in and I have great people within my life that were able to sort of just jump on board straight away and back me. There was not a moment of hesitation and because I did that, I started looking into it further.

Lachlan Stuart: 2:58

And when I started looking into it further, I was able to recognize the limiting beliefs that I'd put in place that were potentially going to rob me of a wildlife experience, something that I just can't wait. When I'm googling the route that we're going on and I'm looking at what it looks like in winter and it's just so picturesque, like snow-capped mountains, montana, it's like blizzard season. So these things are happening. I'm like man that's going to be such as wild as it will be. It's going to be beautiful and picturesque and something that I'll be able to talk about and reflect upon for the rest of my life. So when I started becoming aware of that, I was starting to be able to work out how I could shift that belief, because in life, with all limiting beliefs which we have, or with all negative beliefs, which we all have. You can either choose to listen to those and they will dictate and determine the results that you gain from the outcomes or the actions that you've taken.

Lachlan Stuart: 3:59

And from my own experience and from people that I've worked with I've worked with hundreds of men over the years if you continue to listen to the negative beliefs and the limiting beliefs, your life's not going to go in the direction that you generally want, because it wants you to play small, it wants you to stay safe. You have also adopted a lot of those beliefs in a time where you lacked a lot of self-awareness and you believed that things that people said to you were true. Like you're not good enough, you'll never amount to something. You'll never be able to make a million dollars, whatever it may be for you. I'm sure you've got the limiting beliefs in your mind, but what I want you to do if you've got a pen and paper, start writing down a couple of limiting beliefs, okay, because within all limiting beliefs or within all negative thoughts, we have a heap of freaking moments in life where we can find evidence, we can validate that, and if you want to do that, awesome. But I challenge you with that list that you've written down, to now flip the script. So, for example, one that I had here is I can't build a successful business. Flipping that would be. I am a successful business owner or operator, or whatever the word that you would like to use. I cannot be in a loving, healthy, happy, passionate relationship. I am in a loving, healthy, happy, positive relationship. Now I want to circle back around. So both of those.

Lachlan Stuart: 5:46

When I was initially in the mindset of the negative it was my soul belief I found it really woo-woo and almost challenging to flip the script, much like I'm telling you to do right now. I just thought, lockie, you can't just say things and they happen, but I've gritten bad with it anyway, and over time, because I was starting to focus on this is who I am. I was shifting my identity, I started acting differently, I started behaving differently and conducting myself differently, which led to different results. And, over time, those limiting beliefs that I was shifting to the positive ones were starting to become and feel more real. And so I urge you, or I really want you, to just go. Hey, look, as much as this feels batshit crazy or this feels woo-woo, I'm going to trust you here.

Lachlan Stuart: 6:37

I'm going to convert my limiting belief or my negative thoughts into a positive thought and I'm going to run with that. I'm going to keep being aware of when I'm allowing the negative thought or the limiting beliefs to jump into my mind and I'm going to shift it every time. I'm going to shift it every time, I'm going to challenge it every time and when you start challenging it, right? Yes, as I said, you've got plenty of evidence to back up why maybe you wouldn't be a good business owner or why you couldn't be in a passionate, loving relationship. I had that as well. But you're going to start finding more evidence around why you can and why you are, because you find what you're looking for. And if what you're telling yourself is negative, you're going to find more of that. But if what you're telling yourself is positive, you're also going to find more of that.

Lachlan Stuart: 7:28

And doesn't that just make sense? Even if it were woo-woo, even if it were complete hocus-pocus, wouldn't it make sense if that's going to make you feel better and move you towards better results? Because I know it's not woo-woo, I know it's not BS. It truly works. And look, I'm not perfect with it. I still have plenty of crappy thoughts floating around in my head. The thing is, I'm aware of it, I challenge it and I work on changing it. I use my actions to change it when I challenge it. That's what I'm encouraging you to do, because the one that I wrote about here in the newsletter this week was I can't build a successful business.

Lachlan Stuart: 8:09

I'd had eight years in business and I was humming along nicely and as everything when you're doing well, when you're in momentum, you go look, and I was humming along nicely and as everything when you're doing well, when you're in momentum. I was thinking to myself, lockie, there's a next level, you've got to do the next level. It just seems natural. The next level for me was getting into a business partnership. I was like if I get into a business partnership, I'm going to be able to increase the revenue of the business, impact more people and I'll probably get to do a little bit less. That sounds good. And when that happened, there was like a real.

Lachlan Stuart: 8:45

There was a pivotal moment where the business partnership fell apart and that self-doubt and those negative thoughts and limiting beliefs really got real. There was a lot of validation around why I sucked in business and it pushed me to the point where I didn't think I could be in business anymore. I didn't think I was cut out for it and I was questioning hey, if I can't build a business partnership, what am I doing? Honestly, what am I doing? You're a loser. You can't communicate, you can't manage. People Quit.

Lachlan Stuart: 9:23

Fortunately, I have an incredible support network. Fortunately, a lot of my support network run businesses. Some of them are in business partnerships, others aren't and I was able to lean on them and pick their brains and ask their thoughts and perspectives and they all supported my decision and I I think, to be fair, they probably would have supported me regardless of what I did, but they were able to make me feel like what I was doing was the right decision and it helped me walk out and continue business and continue the podcast even, which was extremely important to me. So there's going to be plenty of moments in time where the doubt or those negative thoughts start to seem and feel a lot more real than maybe they are. They're real in that moment but, as we know, with all things, there are seasons of life and time heals everything, and I truly, truly believe that. What else did I write about here that I thought was important.

Lachlan Stuart: 10:16

I guess if you're wondering how I got to a point where I recognized or realized I could shift my thoughts or I really started to lean into that, there's a principle and I'm sure you've probably heard about it and I have definitely spoken about it on the podcast. But when we talk about a growth mindset, there's a fixed mindset, meaning you believe that everything in your life is exactly the way it is good, bad or indifferent. You can't change it, that's it. And then the flip side the best side, I believe, is the growth mindset, where life is what it is but you can learn, develop and grow to become whoever you want to be and to overcome all adversity, challenges and problems and make your life as good as you possibly want it. And if you were to see those on a piece of paper and if you're listening to the podcast right now, jump on Google if you haven't seen this diagram before and just type in diagram of growth mindset versus fixed mindset and just have a look and ask yourself which would you prefer or which would add more value to your life? And, once again, whichever one you choose which I'm hoping would be the growth mindset you then start embodying that, you start keeping that in the back of your mind. When you hit adversity, what would the growth mindset do? When you have an argument in a relationship, what would the growth mindset do? Or when you hit a roadblock at work, what would the growth mindset do? Or when you hit a roadblock at work, what would the growth mindset do? And you start shifting the perspective and the lens that you're viewing your life through and, once again, when you view things differently, you challenge things and you're ready to change, you're going to start acting differently. Different actions will produce different results Not always better, but different and just be mindful of that as you move through that.

Lachlan Stuart: 12:02

But how I got to that point of understanding and really leaning into that concept of growth versus fixed mindset was I was at a point where I didn't feel I could change. I believed that I was a manipulative, lying loser, essentially. And when I started to accept that, it actually started to feel good because I wasn't letting myself down anymore. There was a period of time I don't you know I'm not going to put a time frame on that but there was a period of time where I was making a lot of bad decisions and I would call this now just being a teenager that I wasn't living up to the expectations that I had of myself, even though I hadn't defined them. I just thought I could be doing better. I thought I was better and because of this I was not. I was always letting myself down. I was setting myself up for failure because internally, without defining it, I knew I could be better, I could treat people better and I expected more of myself, but on the outside I wasn't delivering on that. So I was constantly trying but falling short and it was so painful. Right, I viewed myself as such a loser until there was I guess it wasn't really a definitive moment, but I just remember getting to a point where I was like this is me, this is who I am. Those benchmarks, those expectations I have of myself, that's not me, that's bullshit. The moment that I accepted that, in the short term, it felt amazing because I wasn't letting myself down anymore. I just was who I was.

Lachlan Stuart: 13:42

I got given the book the Four Agreements, which I've spoken about a number of times, from a guy that I really admired and respected. Because I admired and respected him, I decided to read the book. When I read the book and started learning those four agreements. I think it was just like perfect timing that I got given that book. I've read that book multiple times since and it's quite boring, but the principles are still just as effective. But because of the timing of that book I'd just given up on setting expectations for myself and striving for success that they challenged me in a good way. They challenged how I saw myself, the fact that I'd given up, and I got so excited that there was a book out there that challenged me as well and had these steps and processes that if I were to embody these I could potentially get different results. And I just lent in and went all in on that.

Lachlan Stuart: 14:37

And that was the beginning. I became so hungry to seek out more information like self-development and personal development. I became super enthusiastic, super excited about it and went down this rabbit hole. And I see people all the time going down this rabbit hole when they have these little aha moments or these little light bulb moments that open their mind and expands their mind just a little, so that they have this newfound self-belief to go chase more and be more than they originally thought they were. And I hope you would find that within yourself because that is that great moment of realization, and if I were to give my younger self some advice, it would be trust your gut over trying to fit in.

Lachlan Stuart: 15:24

There are many moments that drove me away from who I truly was meaning. I wasn't trusting my gut because I was so focused. I was so focused on wanting to fit in. I didn't want to stand out, I didn't want to be picked on, I just wanted to fit in. And that was the beginning of the conditioning to just do things, even if they weren't to my expectation or didn't align with what I believed in. And when you condition yourself to do certain things, the extremity of that could change, can evolve, just like me now, with the 58 marathons in 58 days. That may seem ridiculous to some of you and that may seem minuscule, but to me it's the perfect challenge for where I am right now, because a couple of years ago I did 30 marathons and prior to that I did a number of 12-hour challenges, and you get the picture. I didn't just get off the couch. I've conditioned myself to be able to do these challenges and that's it, and so that's what I want you to think about. So think about advice that maybe your younger self needed, because I guarantee you the advice that your younger self needed is the advice that you need right now.

Lachlan Stuart: 16:32

More often than not and that's how I've found it to be so fixating on the obstacle, as I've said, is not the key thing. You're going to have those limiting beliefs and negative beliefs, so you want to fixate on the opposite. So, if you can be aware and catch yourself thinking about the limiting beliefs and the negative emotions, challenge them and then work on changing them. Give yourself an alternative and start working out how you can condition yourself to focus on that, that is going to be the key. So, if you need help with that, once again, I coach men in this all the time. We help it in the academy. If you ask for help but just reach out to me on Instagram or jump on to the man that can you can fill out a form. And if you want to work with me whether it's one-on-one or whether it's looking for our next academy intake reach out and let's just have a conversation. If we feel we can work well together and we can move you in the direction and you're ready, then let's do it. If not, it's just a phone call. It's not going to harm in any way.

Lachlan Stuart: 17:29

I just want to give you that step-by-step process once again. The first one is write down those negative thoughts or limiting beliefs. Secondly, list opposing positive thoughts. They must be positive. Thirdly, find evidence for the positive. Go back through your life, think about moments in time and repeat until it's automatic. I'm still going.

Lachlan Stuart: 17:53

I've been doing this for 10 plus years and it's still not automatic. If I were to have a pendulum, it's probably 80% of the time. There's still 20% I'm working on. Will I ever get there? Don't know, but I'm much better off than I originally was. So now I'm in a position where any challenge that pops up in my life or in my client's lives or things that I know I need to overcome, I'm feeling very certain about it. Whether I have the skill set or the things right in front of me, the resources right in front of me, to be able to do that right now, or I know that it can be learned and it can be conquered. That is a really powerful mindset to come from. That is the growth mindset.

Lachlan Stuart: 18:35

So, as I mentioned, with the runs, we've built an incredible team and we're still looking for a couple more sponsors.

Lachlan Stuart: 18:42

So if you know of any businesses that would love to get behind something like this. Make sure you reach out to me. We are going to be raising over $100,000 for mental health. It's a super important cause and something close to my heart from my own experiences, family's experiences and people who are listening heart. From my own experiences, family's experiences and people who are listening to this show's experiences, because we all have mental health and some people live on the positive side, other people live in the negative side and some of us sort of swing between the both, like I do. So it's good to have awareness, it's good to have conversations and it's good to have people sharing their stories around this and then also donating cash to the frontline workers who are working in mental health every single day. So my name is Lachlan Stewart. Once again, if you got value from this episode, please share it. If you feel you would get value from working with me, reach out to me. But, as always, do something today to be better for tomorrow.