Set The Standard (Raise Your Standards) #624

After years of living reactively and feeling stuck on autopilot, I decided it was time to take control and raise my personal standards. Join me as I share my transformative journey of running 58 marathons in 58 days across the U.S. and Australia, a testament to the power of setting ambitious goals. Through personal stories and insights, I invite you to reflect on your own path to a fulfilling life, and discover how tailoring lessons to fit your unique circumstances can lead to profound personal growth.

Imagine challenging your limiting beliefs and aligning your actions with the vision of a better self. In this episode, I reflect on the pivotal moments that helped me overcome self-doubt and navigate the challenges of maintaining new standards, including influences from supportive and skeptical peers alike. From a brief stint in network marketing to attending life-changing personal development events, each experience taught me the importance of actively choosing who I want to become and the ripple effect it can have on those around me.

Finally, patience and small, consistent steps emerge as key themes, as I recount my journey with alcohol and lifestyle changes. These incremental steps, through marathon training and podcasting, contribute to becoming the best version of oneself, impacting not just personal growth, but also those around us. For those keen to embark on their own journey of improvement, I'm excited to introduce the Strongman of Value Academy, an opportunity to dive deeper into these themes with exclusive insights and support. Ready to take actionable steps toward your own version of a good life? Let's get started.

Chapters

• 0:00 Raising Your Standards
• 3:31 Elevating Personal Standards
• 16:15 Small Steps Towards Raising Standards
• 21:38 Join the Strongman of Value Academy

Transcript

Lachlan Stuart: 0:00

Welcome to the man that Can with Lac. Great to have you back for the returning listeners. For those of you who are tuning in for the first time, welcome. What you can expect to learn on these episodes are tools, insights and personal experiences that have helped me build a life that I'm proud of. Now, why is this beneficial to you? Every single one of us, as individuals, have an idea of what a good life could look like for us. We have goals, we have dreams, we have ambitions, and the difference between obtaining that or achieving that outcome and where we are now is the journey that we need to go on. That journey is different for everyone and I reflect quite regularly on the journey that I've been on, and I was only saying to a client yesterday I said look, it's easy for me now to point out what have been the key things that have helped me achieve the life that I now live, from a health perspective, with my career and podcast, and within my marriage and relationships and friendships. However, if I were to give you those as a framework and as a piece of paper, your journey would still be different to fill those in, because it's the personal standards that you are aware of that you decide you need to have, that are going to uphold that. So what's really going on between your ears is what makes this journey so unique, and so I hope, by having the guests that I have on the show, some things that they say resonate with you or really give you some of those aha moments that make you go, that may be the thing that I need to do, or I can really relate to what they were saying or what they were feeling and experiencing, and if I maybe lean more into what they're saying and embody what they do, that could be the path that I need to go down in order to improve my life. Or, alternatively, with these solo episodes that are released every Thursday, the tools and frameworks and insights that I use, I hope that you go. There's one or two things there that really resonate with you, that you want to look to implement into your life.

Lachlan Stuart: 2:09

Now, implementation doesn't guarantee result because, as I said, it's different for all of us and there are a lot more things that you could look to learn. So I want to give you an example just before we dive into today's podcast, which is going to be around raising your standards. Okay, and why raising your standards is the best decision that you'll ever make and one of the most important decisions. But before we do, if I were to say to you guys how I get into shape, have the physique that I have is by training five days a week. Go, you would go. Okay, if I'm just going to train five days a week, I should get the same results as Lockie. But what you're not getting is a lot of the information that you really need to gain, which you can gain through coaching or you can gain through lived experience, and it is what is the specific or what are the specific things that I'm doing during those training sessions and what am I also doing that accompany great results in those training sessions around or throughout that 24-hour period, and that's where experience comes. So what I would love to give to you today is to go hey, you're learning a lot. Please start implementing things, but reflect on the experiences and start tweaking them to make them more personal to what you're learning a lot. Please start implementing things, but reflect on the experiences and start tweaking them to make them more personal to what you're working towards in your own life and setup.

Lachlan Stuart: 3:31

But let's get into today's episode, very, very excited and just to give you guys a recap, we're nine weeks out before I kick off the 58 marathons in 58 days across 58 states. So that's all 50 states of America and eight states and territories of Australia in consecutive days. Now it's going to be an incredible experience. We're kicking off in Alaska and we're finishing here in Brisbane, so I'm going to get snow, minus 15 plus degrees and then just like the beautiful tropical heat of Darwin and Brisbane and everything like that. So it's going to be a very cool experience. Got some great brands on board and we're really working to put some things in place that you guys can get involved with and have your own 58-day challenge. More to come on that. Let's dive into this episode. So why raising your standards is the best thing? You'll do so up until 23,.

Lachlan Stuart: 4:24

My personal standards one. I wasn't really aware that standards were a thing. I didn't have a label for them, but essentially the way that I was acting and how I showed up was very much like a yo-yo. They went up when life was good and they plummeted when things got tough. Back then I was super reactive. I was living at the mercy of whatever was happening around me. If life had handed me lemons. I didn't even bother to make lemonade, I just assumed this is it mate sour drink and all. I didn't see it as something that I could control. I did not really believe that I was in control of my future.

Lachlan Stuart: 5:01

The big wake-up call came when I attended a personal development event. There was a speaker, ben Kelly and he's actually been on the show before who shared his story, and it hit me hard. I realized that my life was just on autopilot. I was reacting and responding to the things that were happening to me, rather than really taking control and deciding what do I want my life to be or what don't I want my life to look like? Because when you're thinking about those things, you're going to make better decisions to move you away from those things that you don't want or move you towards the things that you do want and, as a result, you end up building a better life. So I wasn't actively creating anything and I was reacting to everything. I was broke, I had no clear purpose and I was barely holding things together. On the inside, I was really drowning and suffocating. My relationships were in a rough shape and my self-worth well, let's just say it was somewhere south of rock bottom.

Lachlan Stuart: 6:00

Deciding to raise my standards felt powerful until I tried to put it into practice. So I still remember the moment where I was like I'm going to change things and this was before I had really, I guess, categorized it as personal standards, as they do in the personal development world now. And I remember deciding hey, I'm better than this and I want to step into a position where I feel empowered and I feel like I'm better than this and I want to step into a position where I feel empowered and I feel like I'm really pursuing my greatness. And when I decided that two weeks later I hit a hurdle a trip to the start line almost and I fell back. And that was me recognizing how challenging this was going to be when I had to put things into practice. And I do believe a lot of people have that same experience now, where they talk a lot of stuff. They talk about what they're going to do, what they believe in, but as soon as they have to step up and really stand behind that or implement it, or action that, they don't do it and their results reflect that, just like mine did at the time.

Lachlan Stuart: 7:03

So the biggest challenge was my self-image. I'd spent so many years with a fixed mindset, assuming who I was and what I was, and I didn't like that version of myself. I thought I was a piece of shit and because that's what I believed, my actions backed that up. I was constantly finding evidence within my own life to go told you. So you know better than that. There you go, proof is in the pudding. I'm sure you maybe experienced that in your own life as well. But had I been able to zoom out, had I been able to step back, I would have also been able to see the great things that challenged those beliefs, so that I could have continued or started making progress a lot sooner.

Lachlan Stuart: 7:46

It was when I started to actively decide who I wanted to become. I was choosing where I wanted to focus and in turn I found evidence and I started changing my actions and I started changing my behaviors. So that's sort of how that whole process works. It was sort of like airing out a dusty old closet. Every time I got to dig deeper I'd find some limiting belief waiting to pull me back down and my head was full of I'm not good enough for that, or that's not who I am, and I had to challenge that, and the doubters didn't help. Those bloody doubters, we all have them in our life, and when I talk about doubters as well, I don't believe they doubt us because they want us to fail, but I think part of it is a reflection of themselves, because they're not taking the risk and they wish they were. So it's almost easier to put their negative projections onto you than to have to reflect upon that within themselves. So family and friends were a mixed bag at this point in time. Some were supportive, sure, but others looked at me like I joined a cult or something. Time. Some were supportive, sure, but others looked at me like I joined a cult or something. There's nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself and being told but, mate, you've always been like this.

Lachlan Stuart: 8:55

One of the funniest moments that I guess had to be my short-lived network marketing phase, and when I say short-lived, I was probably in there three years, three, four years, so not that short in the grand scheme of things. But I thought I'd found myself this golden ticket, and I couldn't understand why people didn't see the magic. You could build a business, earn what you wanted, help your friends and family, all by selling something that you believed in. It probably seemed a bit intense if you'd spoken to me during that period or got messages from me and, looking back, I can laugh at that and I can go. I can see why people maybe told you to bugger off, but I was so excited at the time and I feel like people go through that all the time.

Lachlan Stuart: 9:35

I watch people on social media now and even meet people and they may not be part of network marketing, but they may have found something that they're truly passionate about and they can't stop talking about it. They wish everyone else would see what they see in it as well. And there's moments where I catch myself and go dude, ease up, ease up, turbo. But then I take a moment and go. That was me when I found my thing, when I believe that I could create a better life for myself and I want to champion that. I want to support that person because I don't want to discredit them, because I know through time, I know through experience, they're going to reflect on that and go. Okay, I don't need to be as intense, but I can still be excited and pursue what I believe in. I think we all want to do that. So, about a year, hold on. Where am I? Where am I?

Lachlan Stuart: 10:26

So after that, obviously, when I got into network marketing, I had this opportunity to raise my standards and start being consistent with them. I had this idea. I saw Ben Kelly. I was having lunch and dinners with the top leaders within that company and I wanted to be there and I started observing how they were conducting themselves, what they did. They told me how they were building their businesses, how they got in the position to speak on the stages, to build big teams, and I was like they're the standards that I need to have, and I committed to doing that. Regardless of what adversity got in my way, I was going to figure out how to do it. I was running events, I was making a lot of phone calls and I was working my way up within the company, and staying consistent is always going to be the name of the game. I started at the same time as a lot of people and they were gone six months later.

Lachlan Stuart: 11:20

So I knew that if I could just continue showing up, being consistent and developing my skills, I was going to get better. I attached painful memories to the past behaviors nothing like a bit of aversion therapy. Every time I thought about slipping back, I'd remind myself of those dark times and that gave me the push to keep going forward. And once again, I don't recommend other people do that, but that's what worked well for me. And once again it came back to. I wanted to change. I found something that motivated me, something that worked well for me, so I'm going to keep using that. Why wouldn't you? It just doesn't make sense to not do that. So find that thing for yourself.

Lachlan Stuart: 12:02

But I found that keeping a diary was massively game-changing. It's why, within the Strongman of Value Academy, we have the 12-week game plan where we track your time, we track your goals and what you're doing, as well as what you're grateful for, because it becomes and is a place where you could track what you needed to get done and have that sense of satisfaction or accomplishment every day. There was this moment early on when I started seeing some progress and I thought all right, mate, you've made it Progress. We always go that. We pat ourselves on the back. We then start looking for the reward. Naturally, I celebrated a little bit too hard, and only too quickly did I realize how easy it is to slip back. I learned that day that good results come from good actions and well, let's just say, shit actions lead to shit results.

Lachlan Stuart: 13:00

So about a year into my network marketing, I felt like things were starting to click. My life had taken on a whole new direction. I was fit. Actually, I was jacked. I was really jacked. I was in a loving relationship with my now wife and running a business I was passionate about. It was like the light bulb moment just went, or like flick turn on. Taking responsibility wasn't just something you read in self-help books, it's actually worked for me. The freedom of knowing I was in control of my life had this incredibly empowering feeling and I could learn new skills, build new relationships and live a life that I actually enjoyed and I wasn't the man that I used to be, and I was super proud of that.

Lachlan Stuart: 13:43

The power of your environment is literally no joke. You'll hear people talk about it all the time. I talk about it a lot, and there is a difference between being able to change it and talk about changing it and the impacts that it brings you. I found out pretty quickly that if you surround yourself with people who don't aspire to much, it's easy to sink back to where you were and I'm not having look. I want to very much put a disclaimer here. I'm not having a go at people who don't aspire for the same things that I aspire to have, because most people who are aware are putting themselves in the position that they want. And some people want to be super ambitious with their career and business. Other people just want to set up the most incredible family lives possible, and then there are other people who are just going with the flow. There's no right or wrong. What's right is what's right for you, but for me what I found was that if I wanted to aspire to something and I had an idea of what that was like I was hanging around people who weren't as aspirational at the time and so it sort of like that crab in the bucket.

Lachlan Stuart: 14:50

I was trying to get out, I was trying to branch out and do new things, but I kept falling back and I couldn't blame the environment, because I knew what they wanted, what they expected, but I had to change it and that's the hard part. So the positive environment is like fuel. It keeps you going. Negative ones, they're like a quicksand. So in the beginning I made some drastic moves. I cut ties with people who were bringing me down, and I also just cut ties with people that I'd known forever, and while it was a bold step I don't believe it was. Probably, I don't know I don't think it was the right one. I was desperate for change and I thought that distancing myself was the only way. It's funny, looking back, I had a moment where I literally asked myself is what I'm doing with these people in my best interest? If the answer was a no, I started making moves.

Lachlan Stuart: 15:43

Today, I know it's more about finding balance, enhancing relationships where possible and knowing where to keep a bit of distance, and, once again, that's easier said than done, but it's something that you need to be mindful of, something that you need to be aware of. So, as I continued this journey, I found myself wanting to help others to do the same. My purpose became crystal clear to inspire other men to help others to do the same. My purpose became crystal clear to inspire other men to rise above their challenges. Super simple, so that again is to inspire other men to rise above their challenges.

Lachlan Stuart: 16:15

Over the years, a few people have reached out to me, particularly those who've noticed the shift in my lifestyle, especially around alcohol. They saw the changes that I made and it resonated with them. So one story that stands out is from a guy who was struggling with his relationship with alcohol. It was affecting his marriage, his job and, honestly, his self-respect. He saw me talking openly about my journey and it made me think maybe I can do this too. Seeing him take those steps reminded me that raising our standards isn't just about our own growth. It's about the impact we have on others, and that's one of the cool things about documenting on social media that I believe in, and even podcasting is I get to reflect on things that are going on in my life. It's why this week's topic was around standards, because I have been speaking to so many people who don't recognize their standards aren't the ones that they need to achieve the life that they want, and I also recognize that I've dropped the ball in certain areas that I want to pick that up. Okay. So he saw me talking openly about that journey, as I was saying, and the impact really started to motivate me to want to continue striving for what I want to in life, and that's why I'm doing the marathon challenge.

Lachlan Stuart: 17:29

I've done previous other things because they're things that I'm curious about. The things that I'm interested about. They may not be the mainstream thing to do or what most other people are doing, but it's what I want to do, and I've decided that, in order to live a rich life, I need to make decisions that I feel are going to benefit me and make me the best version of myself, so then I can be the best version of myself for those that I care about. And too many of us go. That's too risky or no one else would agree with that, and they just continue down a path doing things that they don't like or they aren't interested in, and then they wonder why, 10 years down the track, they've built up this huge amount of resentment. They aren't happy in their own skin. They just don't love their life, and if you don't want to be in that position, this is why your standards are going to be a huge thing for you to address. Here's where things get funny, though. People often approach raising standards like ordering fast food. They want immediate results.

Lachlan Stuart: 18:30

I've seen people who declare I'm going to earn a million dollars and, to be fair, that was me. I remember talking about that with my accountant in 2014. I walked in and Cookie he was a brother of one of my friends. I was like man, I'm predicting and I'm he was a brother of one of my friends. I was like man, I'm predicting and I'm projected to do big things here, probably going to be earning a million bucks in 12 months. So you just want to set up all my business structure and everything for that, because that's probably going to happen. And looking back, I'm like what the hell was I thinking? But legitimately, that's what I did, so I can relate to that and I know people still do that and many of them don't have a plan to do it. Other things will be like I'm going to drop 20 kilos by next month, as if the weight will just melt off because they've announced it.

Lachlan Stuart: 19:18

The impatient used to be me. I'd make grand plans and I probably to a degree still do, because I do have this part of myself that loves to dream big and I love to talk about it. But most people don't have any clue around what it actually takes only to realize that changing deeply ingrained habits is a process and it's freaking difficult. It's only by failing a few times that you realize raising standards requires experience, not just enthusiasm. Look, don't knock enthusiasm. It's fantastic, but you need experience or you need to have experience in your corner. Change takes time and those big declarations are just the first step. Real growth comes from understanding it and grinding it out. There's no shortcuts.

Lachlan Stuart: 20:05

So my light bulb moment came when I finally understood that raising standards isn't about perfection. I'd gone through years of ups and years of downs thinking I could overhaul my life overnight, and probably wishing I could and probably wishing I could. It doesn't work like that. I don't want to be this dream destroyer, but I want to be realistic. I think many of us are told that everything is easy and everything can happen. As of yesterday, and from my experience, that hasn't been the case. It's so much easier to take a step than a leap, and real change happens through those small, consistent actions, not trying to overhaul everything within a day, and it's taken me a decade to reach this version of myself and I'm still a work in progress.

Lachlan Stuart: 20:57

Now you can all go back and listen to earlier episodes of my podcast and I would hope that there has been some improvement and growth around how I talk, who I interview and what I'm talking about. Listened to earlier episodes of my podcast and I would hope that there has been some improvement and growth around how I talk, who I interview and what I'm talking about. But that's my journey. I listened to episodes and I'm like man. That's so cringy, but had I not been that person in that moment, I wouldn't be where I am now. So to anyone listening to this and thinking about raising your standards just take a step. Don't worry about being perfect. Just commit to moving forward that little bit each day. After all, as I've learned, every small step counts and you'll surprise yourself with just how much those small steps add up.

Lachlan Stuart: 21:38

My name's Lachlan Stewart. Thank you, guys for tuning in. We will have applications opening for the Strongman of Value Academy again soon. We're on week eight in our current intake and when that opens up, I'd love to have you guys join us for next year. And the cool thing about those who are going to be in the academy for the first cohort of next year I'm going to be doing my run, so you're going to get inside scoops as we catch up on the calls weekly. So I'd love you to be a part of that. You can find more at themanthatcanprojectcom. As always, do something today to be better for tomorrow.