Breaking the Stigma: Men’s Mental Health in Australia #628

Men’s mental health in Australia is at a critical juncture. In this episode, I confront the stigma that stops men from seeking help and share actionable strategies to improve mental well-being. With insights from my personal journey and key statistics, this episode is a call to action for men to redefine strength and prioritize mental health.

Key Takeaways:

1. The power of community in overcoming mental challenges.
2. Why vulnerability is the ultimate strength.
3. Practical tools to improve mental health and build resilience.

🎧 Listen now and start your journey to better mental health.

Chapters

• 0:00 Breaking the Stigma
• 5:46 Navigating Men's Mental Health Challenges
• 17:45 Empowering Mental Health Strategies

Transcript

Lachlan Stuart: 0:00

This episode discusses mental health and suicide. It may be triggering. Welcome back to the man that Can with Lockie Stwart, very excited for this solo episode. Firstly, thank you guys for being here. I've been going through a lot of our data. The episodes that are performing best are actually these solo episodes, which is blowing my mind because to me I always think that when I have guests on, that would be more interesting. But I am very humbled that their attention in the episodes where I do solo are obviously a lot higher. So to me it means a lot and thank you guys for supporting and I'll do my best to double down Full transparency.

Lachlan Stuart: 0:33

So over the last six to seven months the podcast has declined in listening numbers by 40% roughly. And last Friday I was chatting to a friend who's actually coming back on the podcast and has been a previous guest on the podcast, bradley Dreiber, and I was talking to him about how I always feel rushed with the podcast. I release an episode with a guest every Monday and then I release a solo episode every Thursday, and he challenged me and he said Lockie, why do you feel the need to continue doing that if the data is suggesting it isn't working? And the truth was, I set myself a standard and I didn't want to quit on that, I didn't want to give up. The reality was in the way that he reframed it was what about if you still did your solo episodes? What about if you still did your guest episodes? Still did your solo episodes? What about if you still did your guest episodes but you just went one guest episode a week and the alternating week you did your solo episodes? So that way you could really get back to enjoying it, you could prepare them better but, most importantly, you could market them better.

Lachlan Stuart: 1:37

Because when I moved to America, I got rid of the team that edited my podcast, set up all the promo and did all of that, which is a big reason why the downloads were so high. And I don't want to build a team out, because I just like doing things individually. Or maybe that's an excuse, but we'll talk about that at another time. At the moment I don't. I just enjoy doing it myself, because I want to learn, I want to engage great people and I just want to market it.

Lachlan Stuart: 2:02

So from here on out, for the foreseeable future, there will be an episode every Monday. There will no longer be a Thursday episode, unless the data suggests we need to go back to that, I will do a guest episode. So last week we had Mark Luciari on, where we talked about his skydiving accident, which was incredibly inspiring. This week, or today, is a solo episode. Next week we will be back to a guest episode, but I would love to hear from you guys. You guys, there will be questions and polls on Spotify where you can answer, or, if you're watching on YouTube, make sure you get involved in the comments below.

Lachlan Stuart: 2:35

But today's episode confronting the men's mental health stigma. This week, I was fortunate enough to do two presentations for companies, in the wake of Men's Health and Movember and in the lead up to the upcoming 58 marathons that I'm doing. I always feel very humbled when I get invited to do it. It's not something that I take lightly, because talking about mental health, one increases the awareness, which then leads to more men taking action to improve their quality of life, to build better relationships, earn more money and get on top of their mental health, which is what we all want. Secondly, it scares me. Public speaking is something I know a lot of people fear. It's something that I fear even more so Podcasting. Right now, I'm looking at a camera with a microphone. No one's watching me, but if there was a little bit of an audience here I would be shitting bricks. So to get the opportunity to step into my fear and to continue driving this message home and inspiring people and improving people's lives is something that I don't take lightly and, because of the research that I was doing in the lead up to these presentations, the feedback that I got that it was such a moving talk that some of the men in this room and very influential people said that I wish I had been able to listen to this when I was younger because it would have had a profound impact on my life. I'm grateful that I got to hear it now, but I really wish I could hear it sooner and to hear that feedback made me go all right. Maybe on the podcast this week that can be our chat.

Lachlan Stuart: 4:04

I haven't spoken about men's mental health specifically for a while, so let's do it today. We're specifically talking about Australia. Now, if you're in America and we have a listenership all around the world, make sure you jump on your own website and look at your statistics to see what I guess relates, or you could even use ChatGPT put the transcription of this in there and just say make this relevant to my country's statistics and you can get it there and you can probably gauge how big a problem it is in your own field. Think about this and we're going to start with some stats. 43% of men aged 16 to 85 have experienced mental disorder at some point in their life. So let's just call it one in two people. If you're sitting in a car right now with a mate, chances are one of you have experienced mental disorders in your life.

Lachlan Stuart: 4:53

Because of this, we need to break the stigma. The stigma which I'll dive into around common misconceptions has to be broken down, and it starts with you, it starts with me, it starts with I was going to dive into a little song there because I broken down and it starts with you, it starts with me, it starts with I was going to dive into a little song there because I was like it starts with you, it starts with me, it starts with vulnerability, but I won't do that. I won't do that to you guys. It has to start with us leading the way, sharing what we're going through and One of the biggest challenges that I faced as a younger man when I was experiencing things. One, I didn't really necessarily feel comfortable with the feelings that I was experiencing, but secondly, I didn't want to talk about them because I didn't want to burden other people. I had this idea that it was my role in society to protect and provide, and I thought that by putting my problems on other people was burdening them and therefore the opposite of protecting and the opposite of providing. Boy was I wrong. We'll come back to that shortly.

Lachlan Stuart: 5:46

But let's talk about some common misconceptions and some of the statistics around that, because depression is the most common for young men and young adults, I sorry. The leading cause of death is suicide for men under 44. That is heartbreaking to think that men who are just, I guess, taking their first steps in creating a life, or maybe they've just become new parents, are choosing or feeling that the best option is for them not to be here. I heard some stories from some of the men at both of the lunches we were at how sad it is that they leave behind young children and they find themselves in a position where that is the best solution or they feel that's the best solution and the truth is it's not the best solution. Never will be the best solution. The pain that it will cause your family, your friends, for as long as they live is going to be unmeasured. But you just think about it.

Lachlan Stuart: 6:39

I want you to think about this now, if you're in a room, or if you're in a car, or even if you're just by yourself, have you or anyone that you know in your life been impacted by suicide and or mental health? The chances are you have, which means we need to take this seriously. We need to have these conversations, one to build awareness. Awareness will break down the stigma and then, when you break down stigma, it puts us in a position to take more action in our life to overcome these challenges.

Lachlan Stuart: 7:06

Okay, so common misconception number one men are less affected by mental health issues than women. The data says women are more likely to experience mental health challenges or be diagnosed with certain mental health conditions. Men are less likely to seek help. The number that I read the other day was around 73% of men will never seek help for their mental health, and they're obviously at a higher risk of suicide effectively taking their life, which is sad, and men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women are. So for me, there's an issue on both fronts the fact that people and I want to break this down and I really want to make sure that I word this correctly when I was at a point where I didn't want to wake up and I think about those who have lost their life or taken their own life or the people who are struggling with that right now.

Lachlan Stuart: 7:50

I think about why do we get to that position? And ultimately it's I wanted to escape. I can't speak on behalf of anyone else, but I would assume that in the ballpark of that they want to escape, there's some pain in their life or they feel that the world's better off without them, that the only option is to erase himself from that. The reality of that is it's utter bullshit. It's bullshit because I start thinking about why would people want to escape? The data is suggesting now it's more than mental illness. Lifestyle factors like your relationship or relationship breakdown, the quality of your finances, the quality of your health, your socioeconomic positions are all impacting people's desire to live or feel worthy or to feel like they're adding value to the world. And if we start being aware of that and start accepting that, like I personally have, I start thinking okay, if there are factors that impact not only my mental health, but other people's mental health. How do we prevent that rather than trying to cure that Backtrack?

Lachlan Stuart: 8:48

10 years ago, financially, I was in a rough position. I didn't like who I was. My self-esteem was shot. I didn't have the best relationships because I was constantly lying, cheating and manipulating. If I look back to the old Lockie, I would have been like of course you're going to feel shit. Of course you're going to not feel valuable or valued in the world, because the evidence is your relationships are falling down. You have no money. You're failing. Essentially, it's not because you are a failure. It's because you haven't become the version of yourself you need to be in order to deliver those outcomes. That was a harsh reality for me to accept.

Lachlan Stuart: 9:19

I remember the moment that I watched Ben Kelly on stage, who was a bricklayer. I was a builder at the time and I thought I've got one up. I'm a builder, he's a bricklayer, but if I've got one up on him and he's up here inspiring people with his story, I can do that too. The shift in perspective and the excitement or the encouraging thoughts made me want to drive and pursue better. So from that moment, I had to accept where I was currently at, and it was hey, financially you're a muppet. You have no idea how to manage finances. Secondly, you're not making much money and you're spending it on the wrong things. That was hard for me to swallow, especially because, as I said earlier, I needed to be a protector, or I wanted to be a protector and a provider. I was not doing that. The reality check was the biggest kick in the ass that I needed and it was a tough pill to swallow, but I swallowed it because I knew that by swallowing it, I could now take ownership for it and I could now do what was required of me to learn to be better with money and to learn to make more money. Same with my relationships, same with my self-esteem.

Lachlan Stuart: 10:25

I'd put myself in those positions because of the way that I was thinking, the way that I was acting and the way that I was behaving. So in order to change that, I had to change how I thought, how I acted and how I behaved, which means I had to challenge parts about myself. I had to acknowledge parts about myself, but I had to do differently and, as confronting as that was, I started noticing day by day I was becoming more confident. Day by day I was making better decisions. Day by day I was getting better results. That's why I believe it's not as challenging as it may seem, although when mentally you're in a dark spot and mentally when I was in a dark spot it was really hard to pull myself out and it was very hard to listen to other people. But I had to do it myself and I was faced a position that I know a lot of people face, where it's like sink or swim and fortunately for me, I didn't want to sink, so I learned to swim, and I learned to swim publicly.

Lachlan Stuart: 11:09

I started using social media as a tool to share what I was struggling with, the challenges that I was facing. I was also documenting me, trying to get better at whether it was at public speaking, whether it was at building a business, whether it was on fitness goals. I didn't always succeed, but through the process I had people reach out to me. I got public feedback on how I could be better. Fast forward 10 years, I don't even recognize who I used to be. It's part of who I was, but obviously I don't recognize that or accept that as part of who I was, and I know that anyone listening to this can go through that same exact process. Now the journey will be different, but if you can start changing the way that you think, changing the way that you act and changing the way that you behave ultimately shifting your identity, you can get yourself out of this if you have the desire to do so. No one can do it for you, but you are definitely worthy of having it done. You are worthy of being here and you are worthy of being as successful as you ultimately want to become, and I would love to help you guys with that. And even just by listening to this podcast, you're taking steps to do that.

Lachlan Stuart: 12:16

Another misconception I know I went on a tangent there, but another misconception is men don't need to talk about their feelings Bullshit. Men don't know how to talk about their feelings, but they do need to talk about them Because feelings are something that we all experience, and if you don't talk about things, you therefore won't understand things. And when you don't understand things, they have control over you, not you having control over them. And for me, when I didn't have control over my emotions, I would lash out in aggression, I would say things in spite, and I would always find myself in a tough position because of things that came out of my mouth or how I responded to shit. Trust me when I say that your quality of life is never going to be great when you're all constantly reacting to life. You want to learn to respond, which means you want to learn to understand things. So emotions is the best place to start. A great book you can read or listen to, it doesn't matter Daniel Goldman, emotional Intelligence, and just keep rereading that. Keep rereading that.

Lachlan Stuart: 13:11

Another thing that you can do to understand your emotions is write, like write if I'm feeling angry. Why are you feeling angry? What caused you to feel that anger? What was it truly that you're feeling angry? Is anger the correct emotion, or could it be something else? What would have to happen for you not to feel angry? Like, just start asking questions and you will start piecing together, I guess, the puzzle of your own mind and your own emotions. I'm not saying you're always going to have control of them. My emotions still get the better of me from time to time, but I'm much more sorry. I would say I'm much better, in much more control than I would have been a decade ago. Let's just leave it there.

Lachlan Stuart: 13:50

Another, I guess just to point that off, communication will break stigma. It leads to actionable steps and that allows you to feel empowered. So make sure, if you're wanting to learn to talk about it, find a place to talk about it. There's so many incredible places Men's Sheds, man Cave, the man that Can Project with our academy. We have men who are prepared to talk. And just by listening to men who can talk about their emotions, who can share their challenges, who can just have done that work, you start picking up perspectives on emotions. Someone might talk about what anger means to them and what brought it on you. You might go oh my God, that guy just told me exactly how I felt. I've never been able to put it in. I guess, words like that that is my story and I'm so grateful because I heard that, because now you can start building off that. That is my story. I'm so grateful because I heard that, because now you can start building off that. That's where the power of community becomes so effective. We'll talk more about community in a moment.

Lachlan Stuart: 14:40

The next one mental health issues are a sign of weakness. Wrong, I believe this. When you're experiencing mental hardship, I believe you're in a new area of growth. You're in an unknown area, you may have lost a support network, you may have lost a relationship. The pain or the fear comes through being alone and being in the fear of uncertainty or the fear of the unknown what's next? And through that, yes, it's painful, and I'm not saying the pain will never be there, because it will be, but it's an opportunity to grow and that's why, for me, it's such a sign of strength, because if you want to show true strength, you need to put your hand up and be able to ask for help in those moments.

Lachlan Stuart: 15:20

Last night we were at the Functional Christmas Party and I was talking to one of my mentors and he was at the long lunch I was at on Tuesday. Wednesday, the crew that I was speaking to committed to raising the $100,000 for me, right, so that's my total goal for this 58 marathons. They said we're going to do this next Thursday and we'll have that all happen and something about it. I don't know. I don't know whether I didn't believe it or anything like that, but I kept saying to this man I was like, oh, you know, if it happens, it happens, but I'm not going to hang my hat on it.

Lachlan Stuart: 15:50

And what I realized as I was talking to this guy on the phone this morning because I had to have this conversation, I was, like you know, putting my hand up as a sign of strength to acknowledge I was like mate, I think it's not that I'm in denial that they will raise the funds. It's I'm scared to put myself out there because a fundraising goal like this that I have set leaves me open to failure, and I'm worried and I'm scared of failing in something that I don't necessarily have control over. I have control over how well I run the content that I put out, but I don't have control over whether people want to support me or whether they want to donate. That's completely out of my control. However, if I don't allow the goal to be known, we'll never hit the goal, and so that was a great lesson for me this morning, and I believe it was a sign of strength for me to call up this person and say look, this is why I was disagreeing with you last night. I'm struggling with the idea of putting myself out there when I could fail, because I guess I've been playing small in my area for a number of years. Putting your hand up now made me be able to have that great conversation, and now, here I am, talking about a newfound goal that I have, and if we hit that $100,000 on Thursday, we're going to make that even bigger and we're going for a million dollars, which scares the absolute bejeebs out of me. However, you've got to put your hand up and ask for help when you're there.

Lachlan Stuart: 17:02

So let's talk about only older men experience mental health problems. Fact Mental health issues can affect men of all ages. Recent studies indicate that serious mental health problems are now beginning as early as eight years old. Eight years old that is mind-blowing. When I was eight years old, I was playing Pokemon cards and out in the shrubs. I didn't even know mental health was a thing and whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. I just was a kid. Nothing was serious, I had no pressure, no stresses, and life was good, and that was my experience. So to know that there are kids out there whose experiences aren't like that and they're already in a position where they don't feel like they deserve to be here or they're depressed and anxious, it's another reason why I'm doing this run.

Lachlan Stuart: 17:45

I want to inspire people. I want to inspire you to be the best version of yourself, because if you're inspired to be the best version of yourself, and what I believe that ultimately leads to is you're going to continue inspiring yourself, which means you're going to push your limitations. Someone else's I guess level of success isn't your level. You have to go and find what your level of success is, and that can be daunting, but it can also be very exciting, because you've just got to show up daily and put in the work and choose the direction that you want to go in. I want to remind you guys of that.

Lachlan Stuart: 18:14

And one thing that really helped me for those who are listening, wondering you may be in a tough spot or you may be in a great spot, but you just want to go to another level is that prevention is way better than cure. I believe I'm a massive believer. So as I continue to hear people's stories, read books, gain access to data and I see the things that are, so I go okay, if that's caused an issue in someone else's life. I could therefore be susceptible. So what would I need to do to prevent that from happening? And now, if you're thinking not all prevention is possible, I get that, but if there's things that are in my control that I can implement into my life that will give me a better chance. I'm going to do it, guarantee I will do it. So there are many great tools and resources out there, but I believe the key is building a toolkit and drawing upon what works at the time. So, once again, there's things from all the way down the medical route, from medications to psychologists, psychiatrists, all the way back down to on the other end of the spectrum breath work, breathing, music, therapy, all of that sort of stuff.

Lachlan Stuart: 19:15

Right, you just got to explore these things and find which ones work for you, the things that have never failed me and these have significantly impacted my mental health. The first one being community being around people that inspire me, that challenge me, that make me feel valued and heard and I also feel like I add value in. That is what community looks like for me, and as long as I have that in my life, I'm always. Yes, I had the highs and lows, but when I hit a low, the community pulls me higher, and when the community or people in my community hit a low, I feel good because I can pull them higher and it's like a reciprocating relationship of energy, and that's what I love about it.

Lachlan Stuart: 19:54

The second one is fitness. The reason why I love fitness is I'm giving back to my body, so I have the energy and vitality to approach and attack the goals that I have within my life, and the fact that I can just get up and I know I can do everything, I'm not limited by poor health. I love that. That's so confident building within me. I also love the fact that when I'm pushing to grow my fitness, I'm doing hard things. When you start doing hard things right, you build more mental resilience, you learn to problem solve, and those are things that lead to success in all areas of your life. If you can hold on longer than most people, if you can persevere, if you can solve problems like other people wouldn't, you're gonna get rewarded, whether it's with better relationships, more leadership, more financial gain, right, so it's worthwhile doing the hard things.

Lachlan Stuart: 20:39

Finally, have goals. Goals to me means giving yourself direction. What do you want to experience? How do you want to be? Who do you want to be around? It's the same with your mental health. If you want good mental health, what does good mental health look like and what does bad mental health look like? Create a distinction or create a gap between them and then start building your toolkit, start building the habits that lead to more positive mental health. For me, it's such a game-changing thing to do because I'm not immune to bad mental health None of us are. But if I have a great toolkit and if I'm constantly working on good mental health and a great quality of life every day, I'm going to give myself a much better chance at being the man that I want to be and living the life that I want to live.

Lachlan Stuart: 21:25

So thank you, guys for tuning in today. I hope that this was more inspiring than it was upsetting. But if you're in a position where you don't, you know you may be experiencing mental health challenges. There's so many great tools and resources out there. A number that you can call is 131114 Lifeline and just reach out to people, reach out to your network. They want to hear from you. I promise you they want to hear from you. That's what life is about. Check in on your mates and, as always, do something today to be better for tomorrow. My name's Lachlan Stewart. Thank you for tuning into the man that Can Project. Make sure you like, make sure you share, make sure you subscribe. We'll see you next week.