Why You’re Burnt Out (Even When You’re Crushing It) #638

You can be achieving more than ever… and still feel completely lost.


In this video, I share the moment that forced me to stop sprinting blind and start leading with clarity. After running 58 marathons in 58 days and coaching high-performing men for 7 years, I realised success without alignment is just another form of burnout.


If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected from what matters this might be the perspective shift you need.


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Chapters

• 0:00 The Burnout Treadmill
• 2:20 Nashville: Finding Space and Clarity
• 5:31 What Do You Actually Want?
• 8:40 Feedback Over Failure
• 11:35 Four Questions for Alignment
• 14:30 Permission to Evolve and Grow

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You can be working harder than ever and still feel completely lost. In this video, I'm going to show you how getting clear on what actually matters, not just in your work but in your life, can completely change your energy, your decisions and your direction. I'm Lachlan Stewart. I ran 58 marathons in 58 days. I've coached high-performing men for the past seven years and for a long time I was sprinting on a treadmill, moving fast, burning energy and getting nowhere. I couldn't hit the stop button because everyone around me kept saying keep going. Lucky, this is what success looks like. My environment was supporting something that didn't align with me, but I was exhausted and disconnected from what I actually wanted. One of the biggest wake-up calls came back in 2019, when I was exhausted and disconnected from what I actually wanted.

Speaker 1: 0:46

One of the biggest wake-up calls came back in 2019, when I was launching the Strongman of Value Academy, which was an online program for men. I was also coaching one-to-one trying to train for fitness and events building another program that, I guess, wasn't having me as involved in it. It was an automated one and I hadn't chunked all my time. I was switching between tasks constantly, so for those of you who aren't, I guess, aware of what chunking time means and how I reference it is. If I have specific tasks that are very similar, for example sales calls, I would try and batch all of them in maybe a two-hour window or a three-hour window. Or if I had emails or computer work same thing. So rather than having to go from email to phone call to a different task, I could just sit down and really focus and then I could know that that's done for the day and then I would move on to the next task. That's what chunking time was for me, but I wasn't doing that at the time, so I was constantly tired. I was anxious that I wouldn't meet the deadline to achieve this goal that I was building towards. I also remember thinking, and very well knowing, that Amy, who is my wife, wanted to go on a date, but I felt too stressed to be present. The voice in my head said once I do this, then I can rest, or when I achieve that, I'll be able to afford this. That line ruled my life, but all it did was push me deeper into burnout and further from the man that I wanted to be. That shifted when I moved to Nashville One of the greatest surprises that I needed and I didn't even recognize it.

Speaker 1: 2:20

It's something that I think I speak a lot about is how important the environment is. It, and it's something that I think I speak a lot about is like how important the environment is. I gave the example a moment ago that the environment I was in for a while was, you know, championing me just being on this hamster wheel of chasing more, chasing, more, chasing more, which can be a good thing, and it was a great thing for a while. But what happened was I needed to realign with what was important to me in that current stage in my life. So when I moved to Nashville, it was a changing environment and as I was, I guess, rebuilding, I had more time to think about what was next. I finally had space. I had quiet because of the time zones. I guess with Australia I really only needed to work and could work from sort of 1 pm, which was generally around 6 or 5 am in Australia, 2 through to about 6 or7, because obviously I wanted to have dinner and go to bed. So because I had all the mornings free, I could wake up when I wanted. I had time to think. I was only working those hours that I mentioned, which meant I was not as stressed or overwhelmed, and I realized that I was starting every day for me, not for anyone else.

Speaker 1: 3:30

You may be thinking it's easy for you, lockie, you don't have children, or I'm dealing with mortgages and all of these things. Well, one working on children thing for those who are following the journey on Instagram. Secondly, I have a mortgage, too, and there's things that you know. Everyone's life's different, so I don't want to say that what works for me will work for you, because it won't. What is most important, and what I'm trying to get across in this video, is the importance of gaining clarity, how that clarity can help you make the decisions moving forward, because you're not looking to me necessarily for the answers. I feel like you're here because you're curious around how you create clarity, which I'll give you shortly, but you need to do that for you. You need to give the definitions, which means the decisions that you make. You need to stand behind them, because they're not always going to be right, and that's why a lot of men struggle to make decisions, because it's like what if I make the wrong decision? Well, own it, you can change, you can use that as feedback, which I'll speak about in a moment.

Speaker 1: 4:33

But back to it. I would wake up, I'd make my coffee, I'd sit on the balcony with my book and a notepad and watch the sunrise most of the time, and I'd get to write and invest in my own mind, like learning, writing out what was important to me, and then I'd get to train, I'd spend time with my wife, and only after that did I shift into work mode. That's an awesome way for me to live. I really enjoyed the fact that I was in control and, as you're listening to this, I'd love to know what is coming up for you, like if you move to a different place and you knew you could set up the day that you wanted. What would that look like? Because it's a really, I guess, empowering feeling, even experiencing that. So, for the first time in years, I was in control of my day, and it made me ask the one question that changed everything what do I actually want my life to look like? Quick side note I asked myself this question in 2014, when I went from not knowing what I wanted to do with my life and stepping into entrepreneurship, and when I did that, I wrote out a vision, which is one thing that I'd recommend you doing. But with that vision, I wrote out from various different areas what I wanted that to look like.

Speaker 1: 5:51

The challenge that I faced, I guess nearly 11 years later, was I hadn't realigned with what my life actually looked like and the man that I'd become, because the man that I'd become, just like the person who you will become, prioritizes different things based on the season of life. I was really chasing money and career at that point. Now I'm in a more flexible position. Family is really important to me. Experiences are really important to me. I would ask you, what does that look like for you? What do you actually want your life to look like? Because it might be different to what you wanted five years ago. It might be different to what you wanted a decade ago, but getting clear on what matters gave me a filter, and I know it would give you one too. I knew that I wanted to be a great husband. I wanted to earn enough to live well, to train hard, to travel and to do meaningful work. That's what is most important to me.

Speaker 1: 6:45

So when we're you know we've come back to Australia at the moment, for those who are tuning we've been living in the US and we're back in Australia at the moment. We've been living out of a suitcase. We're currently going through IVF and my wife and I are talking a lot about that as well, but we sat down and we had a conversation and it was based around what's important to us Are we going to go back to the US and continue chasing the dream over there, or do we want to slow down for a moment and really prioritize the family, and that's what we decided to do. So when we've come back to like, are we going back to the US? Right now, it's no, because starting a family is our priority. So what is your priority? That one decision which would have given me FOMO in the past. You know, I think about man. I'm missing out on all these opportunities, the growth, all of that back home. It felt empowering to say no to that because, rather than having the fear of missing out, I have the fit or, I guess, the excitement of leaning in to the decision that I've made. It's now like that's what I've committed to, because I believe it's important in my life, it's something that I'm excited about. So therefore, I'm going to give it everything to squeeze the juice out of it and really enjoy this chapter and this experience.

Speaker 1: 7:59

So for yourself, if you're struggling to make decisions because of FOMO, fear of missing out, what about if you made a decision you really leaned in? What could that give you? What would that feel like? That's one thing I'd really challenge you to think about, because it is empowering and I realized in that moment that clarity doesn't make your life easier. It just makes the decision simpler. You're still going to be faced with challenges, right? Do I have enough time? Do I have enough finances? What if I make the wrong decisions? I'm not too sure. All of those things will come up. That's normal and that's common. But what are the upsides if you lean into the things that you want? Most of us are scared to commit because we're afraid of getting it wrong, but I have learned that feedback is more important than failure, and I touched on this a moment ago.

Speaker 1: 8:48

I once launched a program this was a couple of years ago and I didn't test it. I just assumed that the audience of blokes who were following me and who had been working with me would want something like that, but let me tell you it was a mega flop. I did not have one sale. When you think about it for those who've ever launched a program or anything like that. In business, you might launch something and you're like, okay, if this works, this is the impact that it's going to have, this is going to be my profit. How great. And so I put a lot of hours into creating it, filming content, doing the worksheets, all of that. I hadn't tested the market. I hadn't tested if the languaging was correct, and when it flopped I realized it wasn't. No one wanted it. But I invested probably 50, 60 hours into it and if you work out the value of your time, it's a bit of money coming out there Instead of spiraling like I normally would have. I actually asked myself for feedback. I realized once again the messaging was off, the offer wasn't aligned and I needed to stay in my lane.

Speaker 1: 9:51

For those who are tuning in for the first time, you may be thinking like what is Blocky coached men in? I'm not a business coach. I'm very fortunate that I get to work with a lot of men who run their own businesses, but what I'm helping them do is prove to themselves that they're capable of more and become the best version of themselves, so that when they put their head on the pillow at night. They are proud of the effort that they've put in and they recognize that there is more to life than their career. Their career is one or an extension of themselves. They still have other roles that they want to thrive in and be able to manage and really enjoy. And that's one of the cool things that I get to help people do and I guess, as a byproduct, some of the things we do does help with their business. But I'm not going into all the business stuff, that's just conversations that we have and I just get clear on why they're doing things, how they can delegate, if that's important to get their time back for their health, for their family and the things that are important to them.

Speaker 1: 10:43

But the feedback that I got from people that I've been, I guess, putting ads to or telling about this program helped me rebuild something better. The old me would have changed everything and wasted more time. Now I guess I refine instead of retreating. So what I'm starting to do now and look, I wouldn't say do this weekly. I would do this when you feel lost, you maybe feel overwhelmed, you maybe feel a little bit anxious, but these four questions really help me realign or even just align and focus on what's important in the season of life and there's no real timeline around what a season is. But if you feel like you've gone through a bit of change, I would imagine that would be you going into a different season, right? So you would need to reassess like, where am I at in these areas? What's important to me, where do I want to go? And these questions will help you do that.

Speaker 1: 11:36

So if you're listening to this, wherever you're listening to this, I want to let you know I've created a free 15-day man that Can starter kit. Now you could get everything you need from this starter kit. All you need to do is go to the link on wherever you're listening to this or consuming this, and you just need to put your email address. So the reason it's free is I will email you every day. I'll give you, I guess, a personal story, an example, but a prompt that you can use. The prompt you can use in your diary. Or, if you use AI or ChatGPT, copy the prompt, put it into ChatGPT and use that to coach you. I'm not asking for anything else from that Full transparency. If you get value from that and you feel you're going to get value from my other programs, then it'll invite you towards the end of it, day 13 and day 15, I think it is. So there's a ton of free value.

Speaker 1: 12:30

I literally spent hours going through what questions did I need to think about? In what order? What were, I guess, the most powerful questions that would help me go through that and dig up stuff about myself, and that's what this daily prompt is. So it's 15 emails over 15 days and I reckon you'll probably need about 15 minutes to go through those thoroughly and I guarantee you, once you've done it, you'll be in a lot better position. But I'll tell you more about that at the end.

Speaker 1: 12:55

So the four questions you could ask yourself, whether it's weekly or monthly or just every season, are these One, what do you truly want right now? Not what you want in 10 years time, like, what do you want right now to get that realignment. Number two is what area of life feels out of alignment? Could it be your health? You're not feeling comfortable in your skin. You don't feel energized. Is it your relationship? You're having marital stress at home. What is it? Because, when you identify it and you accept that that is an area that's out of alignment, you've now given yourself permission to move forward and to improve and to grow.

Speaker 1: 13:35

Number three is what am I doing that's pulling me away from the life that I want? The example before I moved to Nashville was like people always want to go for coffees. They want to pick my brain, and I would always do that because there was a point where I had this scarce mindset that if I stopped meeting new people and if I stopped helping people and giving them my time, maybe I would never grow a business or I would lose business. But what actually ended up happening was I was pulling myself away from the life that I want because I had great clients who were paying me, I had a great business that was paying me and I felt fulfilled. But the time that I guess I was allowed or free to train to spend with my wife to do the things that I wanted to, I was then going oh, I need to go for these coffees, I need to do this extra work, and it was pulling me away from the life that I want because I'd allocated time to work, as I'm sure you have, but I also wanted to spend time doing those other things and by continuing to fill it up with work, I was sacrificing and removing time to do the other things that I wanted, which led me to becoming burnt out and miserable, and maybe you can relate to that.

Speaker 1: 14:43

So, after I finished the 58 marathons I ran for those who are tuning in ran 58 marathons in 58 days just recently across all 50 US states and all eight states and territories of Australia. It was a really cool experience and you can watch more on my channel. But I used that filter and I realized the Strongman of Value Academy, which is the program I started six years ago filter and I realized the Strongman of Value Academy, which is the program I started six years ago, wasn't serving me anymore. It was hard to shut down after six years, but I gave myself permission to evolve. I had plenty of time to think about what purpose it served in my life. Was I feeling drawn to continue doing it or could I learn to serve in a different way that would allow me to evolve and allow me to help people on a better level and, I guess, a level that aligned with where I was at at that point and when I closed it up, just only a couple of weeks ago. Actually, it freed me up, man. I had this sigh of relief because I've been holding on to or tossing up do I shut it down or do I not? And the moment that I did, I just gave myself permission to breathe again and I was like, okay, I don't have to think about that anymore. I don't have to manage weekly calls or content anymore. I could focus on where I was going, not where I'd been for the last six years.

Speaker 1: 15:54

It's a really hard thing that us men experience you maybe are experiencing it too where you feel like quitting is sacrificing everything that you've done. But the truth is it's not. It's allowing you to let go so that you can continue to grow into the next version of yourself, which is only going to be better and it's pretty exciting. So if you're feeling stuck, burnt out, or like you're sprinting through life but not making progress, spinning the wheels on a motorbike on an ice lake which we saw a lot of those while running around America Clarity is going to change that for you.

Speaker 1: 16:25

And if you want help with that, as I mentioned, I created that 15-day free man that Can Start a Kit to walk you through it day by day. It will help you reset your mindset, refocus your time and reclaim your energy. So all you need to do is hit the link in the description to grab it now and, if this resonated with you, drop a comment and let me know what is one area of your life that looks good outside but feels misaligned on the inside. Let's stop sprinting blind and let's get you leading with clarity. If you like this video, make sure you hit the subscribe button. I look forward to dropping another weekly video and I look forward to you enjoying and engaging in the 15-day man that Can Starter Kit. My name is Lachlan Stewart. Thank you for listening.