Structure, Sacrifice and Standards: The Real Skill of Goal Setting | #650

Most men set goals but never hit them because they miss three essentials: structure, sacrifice and standards. In this episode, Lachlan Stuart shares the late-night marathon training story that proves why goals demand more than good intentions. 

Listen now to Man That Can with Lachie Stuart and learn the skill of goal setting that actually delivers.

Chapters

• 0:00 Goals Require Structure and Sacrifice
• 1:27 The Skill of Goal Setting
• 4:24 Planning and Eliminating Distractions
• 6:40 Multiple Goals and Trade-offs
• 10:10 Standards Over Feelings
• 11:43 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Lachlan Stuart: 0:00

Goals don't just require intention. They require structure, sacrifice and standards. So last night I got home from work at 8pm, the last thing I felt like doing was going for my run. One of the goals that I'd set for myself is training for this Melbourne Marathon, which is actually in seven weeks, and I have a very specific program that I need to follow and I need to make sure that I'm getting it done. And part of that means that you know I need to structure, which I do. It's going to require sacrifice, which it has, and there is a certain set of standards that I need to have in order to achieve that.

Lachlan Stuart: 0:32

So the challenge that a lot of people face, that they don't think about when setting goals, is it is a skill set to be able to set a goal, because not only are you turning a dream or an idea into something that you can tangibly work towards, meaning you have a plan. Many people try to stack a number of goals from different domains of life all on top of each other without having developed that skill. So, for example, I see people who are like, oh, I want to grow my business, I want to train for a marathon and I want to set some other ridiculous goal. When they do that, they haven't actually developed the skill in order to be able to achieve that. So what then happens is they get overwhelmed, they don't have the skills and they don't have what it requires in terms of the structure, they don't have what it requires in terms of the sacrifice and they don't have the personal standards to maintain what they need to in order to deliver a great outcome. So, if that sounds like you, I want to talk to you today because this is an important one.

Lachlan Stuart: 1:31

Last night, so I roll in at 8pm and it is extremely late for me. I normally am in bed by probably closer to probably nine. I'm in bed, and so, as I'm finishing up the workday, the reason why I chose to stay in the office later was there's some things, I'm in bed and so, as I'm finishing up the workday, the reason why I chose to stay in the office later was there's some things that I'm working towards and there's a goal that I've set, and so, therefore, I have structure, I've had to make sacrifice and I've had to make standards. I maintain standards. So when I was sitting in the office, I'm like okay, I need to fit my training session in. However, I need to finish this task. It is urgent that I finish this task so that Daneithi, who's my virtual assistant, she can go on with it and continue doing what needs to be done there. I have to finish that today. So how do I do that?

Lachlan Stuart: 2:14

I had to move a few things around, and on a Thursday I don't like to train in the morning because it's a day where I generally see sorry, tuesday and Thursday are the days that I see more clients. Therefore, I know that if I belt myself in the morning on a big training session, let's just say I'm not as intelligent. Let's say that, no, I'm not as clued in. So I try to move my training sessions around and train after work on those days, just so it doesn't impact how I'm showing up at work from a coaching standpoint. So in terms of structure, I have to move things around, but because I was running behind on a few things, I had to make that sacrifice. I had to say okay, instead of training at four o'clock, like I had in my diary, I needed to get this stuff done so I didn't have to come back into the office. It was tough to think about doing that because I have this standard in my relationship, like in my personal life, where I like to be home by sort of five, later six, so that I can cook dinner with my wife, we can catch up, and then we can watch a film or just hang out, play cards, whatever it is.

Lachlan Stuart: 3:18

And when I realized that I had to sacrifice something, I thought, okay, well, what are my options? You know we've got different domains of life and if any of you have done the seven domain scorecard, you'll know what they are. But so thinking, okay, well, can I sacrifice sleep? Yeah, I can sacrifice sleep. Can I sacrifice in my relationship? Well, if I communicate effectively with Amy she knows what I'm working towards then potentially, yeah, I can. Can I sacrifice my training session? The goal is seven weeks away. I can't afford to skip a session because then I have to find time to make it up and as it was a Tuesday, it was going to be hard to do. So I realized I couldn't do that. I had to get that done at some point. Could I sacrifice work? Well, yes, but it would have put me 24 hours behind where I needed to be, because my VA works another couple of hours after that. So I needed to have that task done to give her a bit of structure. So I thought, okay, well, let's just stay a bit later, get that done and then we'll pass that off. So the purpose being of this overall thing is I want you to think about structure, sacrifice and standards. So let's talk about structure.

Lachlan Stuart: 4:26

Firstly, when you set one goal and I know I was talking about multiple goals, but let's just talk about one goal the power of a plan is what makes a goal go from an idea or a dream into something that you can build towards. Because when you have this plan, you realize pretty quickly what you need to say no to. Because there's going to be so many distractions in your life that if you say yes to everything, or if you don't guard your focus, you will fall behind, you'll lose time, and if you are finding yourself with not enough time, then maybe you haven't planned things out accordingly. And that's where goal setting has this skill set, because it's not just about setting a goal to do something, it's also being aware of the distractions and the things that get in your way. So, when you're thinking about structuring things, think about how you plan time, what actions you plan and what distractions that you need to eliminate are Because if you get clear on that, it's going to be a lot easier for you to focus on what needs to happen, because the next step is just putting in your calendar, putting in the things that you believe are going to move you towards the outcome.

Lachlan Stuart: 5:35

So for me at the moment, a goal for the marathons is I want to do a sub three hour marathon in Melbourne. I have a training program that I need to follow and I'm following it to a T, because I believe that if I do that, I'm doing everything within my power to give the best result. But on top of that, I'm making sure I sleep well, I'm making sure that I eat well and I'm making sure that I'm removing as much stress from my life as possible, because that all impacts performance. Another goal that I have is moving my business to over half a million a year and doing that working on the things that I love. So, rather than having to do everything, I've got support. So every time I hit a bottle, a bit of a, a bottleneck, I'm brain dumping it onto mondaycom and then I'm using an AI agent that I've set up to help me go.

Lachlan Stuart: 6:25

Okay. This is the thing that I want solved or a standard operating procedure that I need created. Put it in here and then I can give it to Danithi, who's my virtual assistant, who can then start implementing that. So, just in the last 24 hours, she's redoing where all my clients work set up. We're getting out a new diary that she's updated that will be put on amazoncom. She's gone through, with a fine tooth comb, my coaching program to work out which where's there's gaps and how we can make things better From that standpoint. She's uploaded our scorecards, which will be available to you guys soon, probably tonight, and then she's done the email follow-ups on that. So, because that would have been something that I would have normally had to have done, I wouldn't be doing this video right now. So I know she's taking care of that.

Lachlan Stuart: 7:10

I still got to give the tick of approval, but I've then just scaled time, which is going to move me towards being able to focus on the things that generate the most revenue, the things that I enjoy and the things that are client-facing, which is coaching and speaking. So that's another goal that I have. Another goal that I have as well. A third one is starting a family, so that's a really important one. We're going through IVF. For those of you who've been following me long enough, you understand that journey. So a couple of goals that we're working on. So for you listening, firstly, do you feel confident in setting goals? And to help you answer that more accurately do you set goals and achieve them regularly, or do you set goals and never achieve them? That's going to help you understand where you sit with that, because then you might have to go hey, maybe the reason why I'm not achieving my goals is I just don't understand really how to set goals properly.

Lachlan Stuart: 8:04

Okay, the next thing we want to talk about is sacrifice. Sacrifice is the price of goal setting. You can't have everything, and if you want something bad enough, you have to make the sacrifices. Last night I got home, all I wanted to do was eat dinner and sit on the couch. That's all I wanted, but I couldn't do it because I had to make the sacrifice to go train, because that was a goal that I've achieved and I want the outcome. I want the sub three hour marathon. I love proving to myself that I'm capable of more than I thought, and I also have a standard, which I'll talk about in a moment, but that I just if I commit to doing something. I have this standard that upholds the actions that deliver that outcome right.

Lachlan Stuart: 8:45

So I guess goals for something for you to think about as well. Goals require trade-off and often the trade-off is either time, it's comfort, money or energy. So think about what is the trade-off or what is the sacrifice that you may potentially have to make for a new goal or you are currently having to make for one of the goals that you're working towards today, because if you get clear on that, it's going to make you or put you in the position to be able to prepare for it, which is a great position to be in. And, as I was talking about at the beginning, which is probably where I went on a little bit of a tangent is when you have multiple goals, it makes things more complicated. So if you don't have systems which I'm only just getting better at if you don't have experience in goal setting, if you don't have the right support and structure, then my belief is, if you just focus on one goal at a time, and let's say you have four or three or four 12-week goals over the space of 12 months, your life can be pretty significantly different. If you want more than that. You've got to earn the right to do that through creating leverage and systems and processes and all of that sort of stuff. So think about that.

Lachlan Stuart: 9:58

The final thing standards so important, but you've got to choose standards over feelings, because if you only do things when you're motivated, you're very rarely going to do things right. I'm sure you've experienced. When you're motivated and you set the goal, you get super inspired and you're like I can achieve anything. I've been there. But what happens a couple of days later, or even, if not hours, the dip, the motivation goes, life gets in the way, the distractions pop up and if you don't follow your, if you don't follow your or maintain your standards, you're not going to do the things you're required to do when you need to do them. So think about it like this Feelings are unreliable drivers. To achieve what you want, you need to anchor standards for progress. So when you say to yourself I'm setting this goal to run a marathon, here's the plan. A standard of my plan is I do not skip a session. Therefore, that when I don't feel like doing the session, I've got to maintain that standard. I said I would do it. Therefore, I will do it, and that can go across all areas of life.

Lachlan Stuart: 11:09

It doesn't matter what domain you have set the goal in. There's still going to be structure required, there's going to be sacrifices that you need to make and there are going to be standards that you need to have. So something for you to think about. What is a goal that you're working towards? And if you don't have a goal at the moment, get one. I don't see why you wouldn't have one. What's the structure you need to have in order to achieve that? What sacrifices are you going to have to make in order to achieve that? And what standards do you need to have that are going to hold you and drive you above how you feel on any given day?

Lachlan Stuart: 11:43

Because last night, for me, wasn't about the 10k that I ran. It was proving that standards lead, not my emotions. My name is Lachlan Stewart. If you got value from this, thank you for tuning in. Drop some comments below wherever you're listening to it, and make sure you head over to themanthatcanproject. com to take one of our scorecards. That can help you see where you may potentially fall. In short, or you're drifting in your own life.